Regina Feels
by Darkmaison
Summary: As title suggest Regina Feels -one shots about Regina Outlaw Queen / Snow & Regina / Various
1. Trapped part 1

Trapped

I want the Knave & Regina to be friends so I wrote this:

It bloody hurts, Regina looks down, hand already pressed against the wound, she winces. Great, not only has she fallen through the earth, at least five miles underground into the tunnels that run beneath the town, she also has a sharp chunk of rock encrusted with fairy dust impaled in her side.

Damn it and damn that silly Ice Queen running around freezing everything, causing the ground to become unstable. The town was a mess, one giant headache of sinkholes and fallen power lines. Its not as if its even her battle, she'd made a point of staying out of it.

Let the saviour and Rumple sort out their own mess but in the end she had relented, when Henry asked, all puppy dog eyes and you're a hero now speeches and now here she is stuck in a hole, alone, no phone reception and no magic thanks to the fairy dust.

She grits her teeth, it has to come out, the quicker its out, the less dust is in her system, the quicker her magic returns, although there is the distinct possibility she will bleed out before the magic returns.

She hesitates, images of her body lying here for an eternity flash through her mind, so be it she shrugs, let them wonder where she is but Henry gives her pause, he would miss her, she will not let him down and god knows what other messes his idiot other mother would get into without her to stop it. She shrugs off her jacket, its slow painful work, her wrist hurts, jarred in the fall, her legs are raw, scraped on the rough ground and her back aches but its the jagged rock that gives her the most trouble and she hisses with pain, bites her lip to stop from crying out, she maybe alone but no need to show any more weakness.

Distracted, she doesn't hear the quiet shuffle of dirt and pebbles shifting positions or notice the hands reaching for her until they are upon her and then she does cry out. Its more of a squeal of shock as she twists away, the wound burns, she blinks away the sharp tears of pain.

"Steady"

For one moment, she thinks its him, that accent, the quiet low voice, strong hands on her.

She sighs his name automatically "Robin".

"The name's Will" and now he has shifted to her front, she can see him in the half light that falls from the hole above her.

He is clearly not Robin, younger, narrower frame. He has big expressive eyes though, doe eyes she thinks, close cut hair but he smells like Robin.

A merry man she thinks, all the forest men smell of, well forest but Robin's scent is richer, warmer less green more musk. This man, he smells the same, she does not recognise him.

"Allow me" he says and gently pushes the jacket back onto her shoulders, "its cold" and she is wearing her red silk blouse under her jacket, it is cold.

This Will, this stranger is pulling his corded jumper over his head, unbutton his shirt, ripping it in two, wrapped it round her wound. She brings her hands down to stop him

"No, it has to come out"

Will shakes his head "its probably best to leave it until we get above ground" he says.

"Has to come out" she gasps, the dust is working its way through her system, she can feel it pulling at her magic, the tips of her fingers are tingling blue, its not the cold but the dust trying to bind her. She wriggles her fingers at him.

"Ahh magic and " he leans into the wound, gently touches the edge of the rock, fingers coated with a fine shimmer "dust".

"Yes" its all she can manage.

"Ok, ready this will hurt like a bitch" he says.

She gives him a stare "we aim to please".

"Ahh, my apologies, it will hurt like a painful thing that is in no way gender related" Despite the pain, her lips curl up, he smiles widely, flashes his doe eyes, another bloody heartbreaker thinks.

Will places her hands on his shoulders, bracing her "one, two" and he pulls it out on three. She doesn't scream just gasps and digs her nails into his flesh, he doesn't complain, busy pressing his shirt to the gaping hole in her side, wadding the material there and securing it with more pieces of shirt. When is done, he shifts back, gives her time to breathe and be still. He stands, shifting rocks under his feet, pulls a flask from his jean pocket, takes a swig, wipes the mouth of it, offers it to her. She almost says no out of habit, sod it she thinks, takes the offered flask and swigs deeply.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome" he replies. His accent runs into itself, like Robins but it is different, broader, rounded less cultured but she likes it.

Everything reminds her of Robin and its not fair, this pain is sharper than the dust working its way to her heart.

Will gestures to their little resting place, she can just make out his movements in the half light.

"My phone"

"I doubt it will work down here milady".

"Don't call me that" its a sharp hiss and she didnt mean it to be so.

"Okay" he says.

"It has a torch" she mummers.

Will closes the gap between them "jacket pocket?"

She nods, he retrieves the phone without her feeling it. A thief she thinks.

"In a past life" he says calmly.

Damn she must of said that out loud, the dust is clouding her mind

"I don't know you, are you? do you live here?"

"Yes on and off" he replies,

"On and off?" Not possible, he cant leave Storybrooke, not without magic and if he has magic then why the hell isn't he using it.

"You have magic?"

"In a past life"

She snaps "I'm really not in the mood for guessing games"

"Hmmm" he replies, light shining from the phone running up and the walls, to the far corners and back.

"Wait here" he says.

"Yeah no problem" she replies honestly the man's a moron.

He's shaking her awake "madam mayor" ahh so he does know who she is.

"Regina" she mumbles.

"Hi Regina" he smiles widely at her, he reminds her of Roland with that wide grin, she pushes the thought away.

"I think we can punch through to the main track" he points back into the darkness. He is bare chested, his jumper spread over her legs.

"How long was I asleep".

"Not long, fifteen minutes maybe".

"Can you just" she needs the light to see her wound, he understands, shines the light on her as she gingerly lifts her blouse hem.

Will gives a sharp intake of breathe. Blue and silver lines are shooting up her side, its quite pretty she muses, pretty but deadly. A pure injection of fairy dust.

"Ive never seen that before" Will sats quietly, "what does it mean?"

"I think its confused, dust like magic is alive, sort of, it feeds on emotion, the dust doesn't know if its suppose to stop me or heal me. It recognises the light and dark, its fighting with itself"

"It will kill you?" Will asks.

"Yes"

"How much time?"

"Not enough for you to leave, get help and get back" no point sugar coating it.

She will die here but least she wont die alone but here with this stranger, who calls her milady and smells like forest and if she closes her eyes she can pretend its him.

TO BE CONTINUED.  



	2. Trapped part 2

Trapped

Part Two

Will shuffles back, rocks on his haunches, "not ideal" he nods.

"Indeed"

"So..." He is thinking hard, brow crinkled, tip of his tongue poking through front teeth, doe eyes popping, he looks very much like a confused rabbit. She schools her face into a neutral expression and bites back the retort threatening to leave her 'careful dear you might hurt yourself'.

"If the dust decides you have light within you, it will do no harm but if dark?"

"Bind it" she replies but its not that simple, the dust cant decide so instead it is tearing itself apart along with her physical form and quite possibly her soul, what is left of it.

"So..." He starts again still rabbit faced.

"Not that easy" she interrupts "I cannot force it one way or another and once it reaches my heart, it's game over"

Will stands, rubbing his arms across his bare chest, she plucks his sweater from it's resting place on her legs, hands it to him "I'm not cold anymore" and its true she's not cold anymore just numb.

"It needs to come out then"

She shakes her head, ignores the black dots that swarm in her vision upon doing so "only a fairy or maybe Gold, can remove it, the dust is in my system"

"I meant your heart love" he replies.

Regina barks out a laugh, how many times has she wanted to remove it but resisted, endured pep talks from the ever optimist and severely deluded Snow White and now this stranger tells her 'just pop it out love'.

"Not an option, not without magic"

"But it would work?" He's not giving up.

"Yes it would work" she muses. It would work, give her enough time to get out of this dark dank hole and to help, assuming anyone would. Tink she thinks, she might help or at least speak on her behalf and hell the bug owes her a favour after the mess she has made. Dust, pixie or fairy seems determined to break her heart one way or another.

"If" she starts and stops weighing the options. Will crouches down again, leans forward, his face level with hers and there's that scent again, musky forest, she turns her face away, breathes in the musty air of tunnel instead.

"Yes?" he prompts.

"Im not sure" she speaks softly.

If she can summon a pure moment, a strong selfless moment and hold on to it then perhaps it will be enough to allow her to reach in and pluck out her heart.

"Whatever it is, it's worth a try surely? What do you need?" He asks.

"To focus on the light long enough to use magic"

"Well then" he smiles "lets think happy thoughts".

She groans, just like that she thinks. Will reaches forward seizes her hand, she doesn't pull away. "Even Evil Queens must have happy thoughts" playful smile on his face.

"Not really" she allows and its true, even the happy memories are tainted, every happy moment she has comes with a side order of pain. Every memory she dredges up is swiftly followed by loss, her father brings a smile but resentment lingers, the first time she felt her mothers love was the last time, her one and only truly selfless act, the act that destroyed her. Even Henry's love comes with conditions, conditions that she try harder, be better. Daniel. Robin, best not to go there, not now not when she hates him as much as she loves him. Loves him because he is love to her, all she ever wanted, love, comfort and strength but hates him just as vehemently for taking it away from her. Hates him for the glimpse he gave her, hates him for the hope he planted, hates him for the plans she has made, plans she has already set in motion, plans to take back what's hers (for he is hers) and she will win this time but the winning yet again comes with a price and just once she would like something pure and innocence but its not to be. She wont walk away from him, not now but its not hope she holds onto but her cunning.

Will sits back down cross legged, absently mindly swirling his fingers in the dust and grit, "You're not my first Evil Queen" he confides "In fact, you're the third I have met, the second redeemed"

Is that he thinks redeemed evil queen? a week or so again she would have agreed, now she'd not so sure, and the dust must agree as it struggles within her. Knows her darkest thoughts, plans she came so close to enacting before deciding on a subtler route and even that decision was selfish. To act on the darkness would cost her Henry and she wont lose him, plans rejected because of him not for him, there's a difference and she knows it.

Curiosity wins and it shouldn't because time is ticking "who?"

Will holds up a hand, grit slides from his palms "one, your mother, two my wife".

Regina mouth opens in a silent oh "I assume the redeemed queen was the second" because her mother was a lot of things but never ever that.

Will nods "she wasn't so bad to me, I was even her Knave for a while, she took my heart"

The knave of hearts surprising, removal of his heart not so.

He chuckles "as far as I'm aware, I hold the dubious honour of being the first to ask for it"

"You asked her to remove your heart?" she repeats.

"Yup" lips smack on the p as he grins up at her "for love of course" of course, what other reason would there be. "She tutored my wife, helped her become the Red Queen, have to confess, felt less ambivalent to her then".

"Wonderland"

Will nods "Red Queen reformed to White".

"Your wife?" Through love, his love. "Thief, Genie, King" she says softly.

Will reaches out his hand takes her, shakes it "Thief, Genie, King" looks at her expectantly. The words leave her blindly "Evil Queen, Mayor, Mother"

She drops his hand, warm though the contact was.

"Widower" he says.

The tears come quickly, fall before she can blink them away, he is her and he is Robin. Robin's past, Thief, Widower and what he could have been but was not - this Knave of Hearts chose his Evil Queen.

"You loved her" the words scratch her throat.

"More than anything, all of her, good and bad".

It stings, she is jealous of a dead women for the second time, jealous of somebody else's love again, its sour and bitter and the dust steals closer to its goal.

"Everyone has love in them, even the darkest of souls" Will speaks quietly. Yes even the Dark One himself loves.

"Love is not the problem" she says and its not, she loves deeply with all her soul but hate runs just as deep. Its a ceaseless battle she wages within herself, silenced oh so briefly in his arms.

Will wears compassion on his face, not pity.

This man she thinks, brave, she barely knows him but somehow feels a connection, compassion is not a selfish emotion, compassion for another is within her, she feels it now, its not a happy feeling but its not dark or bitter either. She holds onto it, compassion for Will, Will who gave up his shirt to stop her bleeding, Will who sits on the cold hard floor with a her when he has no reason to stay. Will who calls her redeemed although he knows her not, Will who loved and lost his Queen, lost not tossed away.

Will who urges her to try, thinking of another while his own grief torments him and she can see it now. Now that she steps out of her own misery, she recognises his, so its with compassion for him that she reaches inside her chest and draws out her heart.

"Well done your Majesty" grinning as he unties shoe laces, pulls off his boot, wriggles out of a woollen sock and flops it in her lap.

She stares at the sock unmoving. Heart removed the dust is quiet inside, lies dormant for now, still chews on her magic, her side still hurts, her heart still broken but she feels a little less bruised, less battered, she has time now, time to consider perhaps and perhaps for the first time she has made a friend, one that comes with no history.

"Clean on today" Will tells her gesturing to the sock. Gingerly picks up the sock, surely he doesn't mean for her to...

"Keep it clean, probably not that hygienic" he shrugs "but better than getting grit on it.'

Regina looks down at her small hard blackened heart, red glow less than a week ago but still red there, still beating, still resilient, places it into his sock and laughs.  



	3. Trapped part 3

Trapped

Part three

Seems a silly thing to do but its too late now, she's already knocked on the door and if she turns away now theres a chance she will get caught running away and look more foolish than she currently feels.

"Hi Regina" he answers with a easy smile and the tension she feels eases.

"Hello" she lifts the box shows it to him "I got you something".

He opens the door wider, waves her in with another wide smile and a confession he loves presents.

The room is small, L shaped kitchen and living area in one space but its clean and tidy-ish. He gestures to a open beer on the table "want one?"

She shakes her head no.

"Ive got tea and coffee but it is granules tho..."

"Tea's fine thank you" she replies and takes a seat in the couch, watches as he flits between making tea and shuffling things around in a halfhearted attempted at tidying.

Curiosity gets the better of her and she sneaks a look around the room, not much to see except what looks like pencil drawings, fairly decent ones tacked to wall. He catches her looking just as she catches him sniffing the milk.

He shrugs and laughs, "you're in luck, it smells ok to me, care to check?" waggles the container at her.

She laughs, the first real laugh for a day or so, since Henry met her in the diner for lunch oblivious to his full on chocolate milk moustache, full of code names and coloured markers laid out on the table, ready for their important mission.

He hands the mug to her, winces a little when he notices she notices the crack in the rim, wants to tell him she really doesn't care but doesn't know how so just says thank you instead, winces herself when it comes out oh so prim and proper.

He literally flops down onto the sofa right next to her, grabs his beer takes a swig puts his sock covered feet on the table briefly before quickly placing them back on the floor.

Its out before she can stop herself "Its your apartment if you want to put your feet on your table, please do"

"Right you are Your Mag" he chuckles and pops his feet right back on the table.

This time she doesn't hide the wince nor soften her words "please do not call me Your Mag".

He lets out a belly roar, looks at her with genuine amusement and she just knows that its too late, from now on its Your Maj, she will just have to think of something equally as annoying for him.

"Can I?" He's reaching for the box she left on the coffee table.

She nods, bites her lip a little, hopes her choice was right.

He puts his beer on the table and lifts the box onto his lap, pulls off the lid, rummages through the paper real quick, lifts out the shirt she'd brought to replace the one he torn into strips to stop her bleeding.

Will whistles through his teeth "Nice"

Its designer, not horrendous expensive but not the wardrobe staple she now thinks she should have got instead. Truth be told she'd got it because she liked the colour and the rounded collar, hadn't thought about the price tag but now its seem extravagant, over the top. Its gold tipped arrows when it should have been a simple thank you.

"Wow its proper swish" he's standing now pressing the shirt against him "nice ta very much"

"Its nothing..." God she's embarrassed

"I'll save this for best" he saids "bound to be a big party once all this ice verses snow queen business is over"

She snorts "yes quite probably".

"Hows that all going?" He's perched on the table now, long legs stretched out under the sofa making that rabbit face, the one he wore in the tunnels when he saved her life and she has brought him a mere shirt yo say thank you and now it doesn't seem enough.

She waves her hand, its Emma's mess she can sort it out, yes she's stepped in now and then to help when asked but truthfully unless there's immediately danger, she's stayed out of it. Has no patience to deal with this latest crisis, she and Henry have their own project they are working on, a change to her original darker plans, and its precious and wonderful this time they are spending together and she wont waste a single second she doesn't have to. Besides her accident in the tunnel has brought her some leeway, recovery time she doesn't really need but its nice the way Henry asks if she's okay, the way David stayed by her side as she slept after Blue healed her, makes her feel less alone, strengthens her resolve to continue her hunt, that she does deserve a happy ending too, if the 'heroes' think she's not a villain surely the writer can be made to see that too.

"Regina?"

Will's waiting for an answer, she'd waved her hand at him but not answered the question "its all under control" she assures him.

He nods "and how's the ticker?" hand rests on his heart as he looks directly at her "and don't say its fine, I've heard the rumours and spoken to the man himself"

She arches a brow at that "shouldn't listen to town gossip"

"Im not, I'm asking you"

"I don't really want to talk about it"

"Okay" he says, scoots back over to the sofa "How's your boy?"

An hour later and she has told him her sad tale, not all of it, not about fairy dust or soulmates or missing years, just that she and Robin were dating until his wife came back, a wife she had previously had executed and now they're not dating.

Will sums up the tale with one word "Awkward" and when he offers her a beer for the third time, she takes it, slips feet from shoes and tucks them under her.

"Did you know her?" She asks quietly

"The wife?, nah she was already..."

"Deceased" she supplies

"Yeah" he shrugs "I wasn't with the merry men very long, long enough to hear a few stories, mostly about Robin before he knew her, he was a different man then I think"

"She saved him from the darkness" says it so quiet, Will doesn't hear, asks her to repeat herself but she wont.

It makes sense now, 'you're like me' he said, she had thought Marian's death had destroyed him, like she'd allowed Daniels to destroy her. She'd taken his wife from him and he fell into darkness 'you destroyed his life too', but that wasn't the case Marian had saved him before she died and maybe he had felt the darkness pull at him again at her death but her memory was stronger, the code he lives by, its from her not because of her.

She lets out a little sob, Will says nothing just wraps a gentle arm around her shoulder, its unfair to talk of resurrected wives with him.

"Nonsense" he says when she tells him as much.

"You liked him yes?" He asks softly

"Yes" she admits its not really a secret, the whole town knows about her broken heart and her fight with Emma because of it, they think she's angry with her for breaking up her romance but shes not, its betrayal she feels, Emma who she thought understood but turns out she didn't, not really.

"Really liked?"

"Really liked"

"Im sorry"

She nods shifts her position wriggles subtly out from his arm, he gets the hint, moves his arm back down, bumping her shoulder as he goes "I get the feeling I'm not quite forgiven" he tells her "with Robin"

"Oh? What did you do?" she asks curious.

He tells her the story of magic mirrors, wicked stepmothers, white rabbits and his his beloved stroppy queen, by the time he's finished she's on her second beer, he his third and she's holding his hand and telling him she's sorry.

They sit in silence for a while, watch as the room darkens, watch the way the fading light catches the dust motes, lost in their thoughts until Will breaks the spell by standing and switching the light on.

"You told him that tale and he didn't listen? Didn't forgive you" She asks, thats not the Robin she knows.

"He seemed...preoccupied" Will tells her with a shrug. "Honestly I don't think he was really listening until your name came up".

Will's leaning by the back wall, fingers skimming one of the drawings, Anastasia, she thinks.

"Oh and then?" she tries to sound nonchalant, ignores the way her heart picks up.

"He wasn't happy that's for sure"

"Happy about?" honestly is she going to have to drag every word out of him?

"The tunnel, you almost dying, he wanted to go into town to check on you but the boys talked him out of it"

Her heart sinks, she tries to ignore the words that catch at her heart, 'talked out of it' how easily he is talked out of it, how easily he walks away although he said his feelings were real, 'can't be that real, what you feel he doesn't, not really', all the doubts, the ones that trouble her once Henry is gone or asleep and she should be sleeping or working but isn't as the words niggle and push at her, 'he chose a code over you'.

"I hoped" she says quietly, so quietly Will has to cross the room to hear her, sits back on the table, knees knocking against hers "he would come back to me, tell me he made a mistake, chose wrong and that a code wasn't enough, what we had was stronger but now even if that does happen, which it wont, but if it did, I don't know if I would want to hear it".

If Marian is his moral code and the wife that he loves, his family that's one thing, a big thing, the right thing but if its true, that what they had was real and he chose a wife he loved, past tense and a code, then abandons that code, what then? What does that mean, she doesn't know, she weary of the same thoughts running through her mind, tired of her heart and mind seesawing with each other, tired of the hope that bites each time she thinks of his words.

"What would you do?" She asks

"What would I do if I had feelings for someone else but than Anna came back?"

"Yes" its cruel but she needs another viewpoint, it's driving her crazy.

"I can't answer that, even though she's gone, right now I cant imagine feeling that way about anyone else but I hope one day...I will, maybe I don't know" he sighs, a weary sigh that her heart recognises.

Will reaches out takes her hand "I do know that as amazing and wonderful love is, its also confusing and painful, and sometimes we reach for the easiest path, out of fear, and doubt but that doesn't make us less of ourselves, it just makes us human"

He's right of course, this man who broke all the rules and has been so many things, things change, people change and if Robin needs to hold on to this part of himself then who is she to judge? its not a reflection on her or how he feels about her but what he needs right now just as she needs the writer to hear her voice, evil isn't born its made and so is good and I make my own destiny and all the other things she wants to scream and shout at the book.

Its getting late, they are both exhausted, need a little time to switch off for a bit, him to catch up on game of thrones boxset he says, and she wants to retreat to her kitchen, the ingredients for chocolate fudge cake waiting in the car.

Her hands on the door knob when she remembers "Oh I almost forgot" she reaches into her bag at the door, tosses a small paper bag at him.

"What's this? More presents?"

He reaches into the bag and pulls out the socks she got him, another replacement clothing item she owes him.

Will turns the socks over and reads the packaging copy 'heart warming feet warmers' he laughs. "Apt"

"You wanna meet for lunch tomorrow?" He asks.

"Come to mine, Henry and I are having pot roast and chocolate cake, there's plenty, 12ish?" its easy to offer, especially when he looks so pleased at the thought.

"Definitely, see you tomorrow Your Maj" he winks as he closes the door.


	4. Trapped part 4

Robin stands at the diner counter, the polystyrene coffee cup he holds burns his hands but the heat does not compare to the hot streak of jealously that rages through him.

He cannot take his eyes off her, drinks in the sight, its been days since he saw her last and now, now she looks so different so...soft.

He takes in every detail, the wisps of dark velvet hair, fallen strands from her ponytail, that whisper at her neck, the light shimmer of gold that paints her eyes, her lips a soft pink. Even her clothing is soft, a light grey cashmere jumper that seems too big, hangs loose around her shoulders and neck.

She looks younger, lighter, her eyes bright, crinkling at the edges as she chuckles at him.

The hot burn in his stomach tightens and twists to shame. He had thought her miserable, listened to town gossip but she does not look miserable. He should be glad but he is not, he is jealous and anxious, he does not trust the man she sits with.

He finds himself at standing at their table, both faces turned up to his, her eyes widen in shock before she blinks it away, her face settles to that blank mask she wears so well.

Its Will that speaks first, his name and its a question.

"Will" he replies.

Regina has painted her nails, a dusty pink matches the light blush that she wears on her cheeks. Robin always notices the small details, has trained himself to do so, he remembers her nails in the Enchanted Forest, deep red or black.

"What do you want mate?" Will asks.

"Im not your mate" Robin spits out full of venom.

Will recoils a little, palms raise up, a gesture meant to calm.

Robin knows he needs to calm down, he knows has no right to be here, to feel as he does.

"What is it Robin?" Regina asks, eyes darting from his to Will's.

"May I have a word, in private?" He asks her.

Regina raises her eyes to him, he can see her mind whirling behind the blank expression she wears, her eyes give her away, she gives a small nod.

Will stands up, chair legs screeching against the floor as he pulls it back, he's not happy "Fine, I need to visit the loo anyway" brushes roughly past Robin "but if you plan on telling her, how I'm not to be trusted, that I'm a thief and a wrong-un, there's no need Ive told her everything"

Robin sinks into the empty chair, still warm "is that true?" He hands palm down stretch across the table, inches from where hers lie folded, a triangle around her mug.

"Yes" she nods looks away.

"And you trust him?"

"He saved my life" Regina shrugs a little, her hands disappear to her lap, twisting that green ring of hers no doubt.

Robin huffs out a deep breath, "that maybe so but"

"But what Robin?" and there's the temper that frustrated and enticed him in equal measure, "is he so underserving of a second chance? His wife died, surely you of all people can understand that?"

She's right of course, he has behaved, is behaving abysmally, "you're right" he tells her "but...its just confusing...I"...things aren't, feelings you know they can't just be shut off...it is a old grudge between Will and I"

He does not mean his feud with Will, Regina is no fool.

"Save it" she bites out "I don't want to hear it"

The softness is gone, its absence bites at him, he has hurt her again.

"Go back to the woods Robin, back to the life you choose, your morals and your codes" the last words come out shaky but she does not back down, stares him out, pouting those full lips.

He cannot tear his eyes from her mouth, even drawn in a snarl, he longs for it. The feel of those lips on his, his lips pressing down on the softness, fierce and soft, all their kisses assault his memory and he has to look away, warmth pooling in his belly,

Her eyes chase his face, whatever she sees there has her softening again "Robin" she sighs "I do understand, I respect it, that's who you are and why I.." her words flutter away and he watches as she steels herself once more "its who you are, no matter how confusing things are"

Robin nods, stands to leave, he has to go "I will talk to Will" he promises.

She nods gives him a small smile, looks away, hands fiddling with her mug. Robin finds himself leaning forward towards her, catches himself, roots his hands in coat pockets instead.

"Regina, please take care, no more falling into tunnels perhaps?"

"I wouldn't dream of it" she tells him but does not look up.

He has to walk away then, doesn't turn to the counter to retrieve his coffee, heads straight for the door, chest tight, breath trapped. 


	5. Trapped part 5

Trapped part 5

"Awesome" Henry declares blinking at the bright white room "this is all your stuff from the forest?" He asks drawn immediately to the mirror staring into as if he expects to actually see the forest through it.

"Yes some of" most of it is lost, stolen away in the last curse, not that she minds she only brought what she wanted the first time and by some strange twist of Snow's curse, its all still here.

Henry eyes the rest of the room, slides a glance quickly over the dresses on display, those don't interest him "its pretty" he says "bright".

Expensive she thinks, she'd never really thought about it before but now with Henry's wide eyed stares and Zelena's words echoing in her head she thinks of the wealth in this room, feels a begrudging gratitude that in this aspect of her life she is settled.

"Yes, much better than candle light, shall we?"

Henry nods eagerly, plonks the book and his backpack on the table, pulls up a chair, "Operation Mongoose is a go"

Later when she stretches in her chair and rubs at the cramp in her fingers, sore from copying and translating runes, she notices the doodles on Henrys paper, tugs it forward a little for a closer look "these are quite good" she tells him.

Henry shrugs "just messing"

"Are you bored?" She asks, this part of the search must be far too reminiscent of homework, she says as much, turning the paper to the right to admire the snow monster and what she presumes is Emma standing before it, magic shooting from her fingertips, drawn on the bottom of the page.

"No...a little bit hungry maybe" He says wiggling his eyebrows "cake would help I think, sugar is an excellent source of energy"

She laughs as if she is going to allow him to eat cake for lunch "Grannys?"

As they make they way to the diner, she checks her phone, out of habit really she is expecting no messages but she has one. Its from Will asking if she is cooking tonight. Presumptuous sod she thinks but types out a reply he will take as a invite and is right to because it is.

Will's reply pings through immediately, she is smirking and shaking her head a little when she notices Henry is looking at curiously "Will" she tells him.

"Oh" and then "Mom...are you and Will, you know dating?" He asks shuffling his feet a little.

"No" she should have expected this, this town is nothing but a gossip mill and Will is constantly at the house, eating her food, taking a shower, (hot water is broken, more like he hasn't paid the bill), washing his clothes (another unpaid bill), turning up late at night, sleeping on the sofa or in spare room when the need for a drink hits him too hard and he cannot be on his own (and she has stashed all her alcohol in the vault so he knows her house is safe).

"We are friends" she tells him "Will is having a hard time and sometimes he stays at the house" she confides, bending slightly at the hip, gloved fingers ghosting Henrys chin, a old gesture, one that means this is important, please listen "on the sofa or in the spare room" and that one time in her room after she woke from a nightmare to find a bleary eyed Will in her room, slushing her until they both fell asleep but he doesn't need to know that "is that okay?"

"Of course Mom, its good to have friends, I just wondered that's all, its fine either way, I like Will, he has cool stories'"

"Hmmm" she says as Henry laughs "come on" he urges dashing ahead.

She follows makes a mental note to talk to Will about his stories.

* * *

Its late, Henry has long since gone to bed and she is longing for a glass of something stronger, is contemplating making her coffee Irish, Will would never know, when she realises he is crying.

She hadn't noticed too busy debating the ins and outs of operation mongoose to realise he had stopped turning the pages of Henry's book some time ago.

Its instinct to slide off the couch to the floor where he sits back resting against it, long legs stretched out but now she's down here with him she hesitates, "Will" she sighs, wishes she was better at this.

He turns and immediately pulls her into a full hug muttering about happy endings and how shitty they are, sentiments to which she can relate so she hugs him back and then they just sit quite for awhile, her head on his shoulder and its nice to have a friend she thinks.

Its nice when he kisses her, not heart stopping, belly churning, breath stealing nice like Robin's kisses but nice but not right, not when they both are thinking of someone else, not when he's the only friend she's ever had that didn't want something from her and she doesn't want to mess it up.

"Will" she says pulling back, still holding him because its safe to do so and she knows from the look in his eyes he feels the same.

"Im sorry" he tells her.

"Its okay but ..."

"Just friends" he interrupts, that rabbit look on his face.

"Yes" but they stay where they are, on the floor together, taking comfort in each, its not awkward, just nice.

* * *

Her heart is beating so fast she is afraid she may actually have to remove it. Three months, three months of battling snow queens and being coerced into helping ice queens and saviours control their magic, until it didn't feel like coercion and the anger she felt at Emma faded away leaving them better than before.

Three months after failed true love kisses (and confessing that satisfaction to Will, who is her rock and tells her its okay to feel that way) of freeing Sidney once and for all of his obsessive curse, of relief that when he looks at her, he doesn't remember a damn thing, slides his gaze right past her, uninterested that unhealthy stare wiped away.

Three months spent with Henry and Will and operation Mongoose, three months spent without Robin, of meeting his eyes and looking away, pain every single time yet she still looks each and every time they run into each other, just as she still nods politely every time she sees Marian in the street and doles out the same excuses to Roland when he beelines towards her wanting attention.

Three months to forget and three months to remember and now they are here. Her, Henry and Will and she is knocking on the door that opens on its own account and she's telling them that she has to do this herself, thanking them, not to worry and she loves them before entering.

Its not what she expected and already its so hard to remember, the details already sliding from her mind and she just knows even as she stands here in the house, once she leaves, she will never be able to find it again.

He is as old as time yet he looks familiar, she cannot put her finger on it. He looks at her, into her and he knows her, every part, her words die away on her lips.

"You get to change one thing Regina" he tells her but she hasn't explained, hasn't said anything.

There's power here, power and magic, it thrums through her, its old and new and completely overwhelming.

She stands before the book, its not the only one, the whole room is full of them, all humming with magic and power, she can taste it on her tongue, its neither dark or light.

One moment, one moment to change but which one? She was so sure before, three months before, one minute before but now she stares at the book at her chosen page she only sees the child with the trusting face, dimples and huge smile and she knows she cannot do it.

She's panicking now, thumbing through the book, which part to change? every page offers opportunity but each comes with a price she is not willing to pay, the possibility of a life without Henry.

"I just want a happy ending" turns away from the book, another book to her right, now in front of her, says it so softly but she knows he hears. Tears are pooling and falling without permission, when she wipes them away, careful not to smudge someone else's story, she sees it, makes her choice immediately, knows she will regret it later but does it anyway.

She does regret it and it hits her quicker than she thought it would. Henry's bombarding her with questions as they watch the house fade away "What was it like" "Who is it?" "Did you do it?" "Do you think Robin will be at the house?" All but the last, questions she can't answer.

"Lets go home" she tells him, takes his hand as they walk away just the two of them.

* * *

"Regina Mills" he says "I'd like you to meet Anastasia Scarlett" he grins, a smile so wide it threatens to split his whole face, pulls his wife forward in the house.

She has missed him but now he is here, two lives in his head and he had to come he says, hugs her so tightly in the hallway "thank you, thank you" breathed into her ear. He has tears in his eyes but he looks well, sober, happy.

His wife is beautiful and all sassy sweetness as she stands quiet. Regina can see the awe in the other woman's eyes, which is flattering because she knows she looks like crap, is not rested has spent the last three nights staring at Henry's book which hasn't changed one damn bit and Roland started school this morning and she had bumped into Robin on the school run.

"Regina, have you seen this?" Will asks her when they are taking a few moments just the two of them in her den, stuffed full of chicken and mashed potatoes, leaving Henry with Anna, Emma and her parents, baby and pirate that had just happened to drop by that morning, fulfilling their intentions to fill her house with noise, make a mess and eat all the cake.

Will points to the inscription engraved on the inside front page, a page she hasn't looked at before and frankly does not know how she could have missed.

'In dedication to Regina Mills' it reads 'some make their own destiny'.


	6. In My Way

IN MY WAY

Regina has a plan - this is it

Regina - Present Day

Regina sits in her office, it's early morning, she is the first to arrive but she has been up for hours, putting her plan into place.

"I need my mirror"

" There's someone standing in the way of my my happiness. I need your help getting rid of them"

Of course he agreed, desperate for her approval as always and now for his freedom.  
She has promised him a new life "what is there for you here, Sidney?" Really, the town already despised him what did it matter what they thought of him now? She hates to lose a valuable asset but if all works out for the best, she won't need him.

"A monster"

That's what SHE'D called her, a monster. She couldn't care less what SHE thought but how dare she spill her poison in the street, where her son is present, where his son is present, his son, she refuses to acknowledge HER role in his life.

Robin has never seen her that way, Roland has never looked at her with fear in his eyes and she's not about to let it start now.

No, they need to see her as they have always done, Robin just needs a little reminder of his promise, a promise to stand by her stand, come what may, his words, not hers.

He is confused right now, feels the need to look out for his family and she can understand that. Yes, she will give him time to do the right thing, ease his conscience but then she will remind him, she needs him too.

HER time is past, SHE had her chance, Robin was right, it is all about timing, this is her time, she just needs to get it right.

This is the perfect plan, as much as she would like to get rid of the third wheel permanently it's not an option, he would never forgive her, Henry would never forgive her. No she needs to play a different hand, one that shows her in a different light.

Snow - Present Day-

Mary Margaret stands in the hospital corridor, Neal fussy in her arms, David is talking to Dr Whale, David is nodding and thanking the man. Whale glances over at her, gives her a small nod, not quite respectful but the man is a arse, she expects no less.

"She's fine" David tells her, pulling Neal from her arms, "come here little man" he mummers nuzzling his nose into his sons neck as he holds him to his chest.

She places her hand on her son's back, soothing, looks at David waits for him to raise his head meet her eyes "she's fine" he repeats. "The knife wound was shallow, a few stitches, are you going in?"

She nods, takes a moment to clear her mind, blood there had been so much blood, everything a blur, but the blood sticks in her mind, a bright red puddle against the white of Regina's dress.

Robin yelling as he pulled Sidney off, Sidney pushing past her, hitting her shoulder with his as he ran past, Robin streaking by, face hard.  
Slow steps towards Regina, her hand trembling as she reaches for Regina's neck.

She pushes the door, Regina is propped up on pillows, she looks pale

"I'm fine, Snow go home".

Mary Margaret smiles at her, closes the room, sits on the bed, takes Regina's hand,  
"in a bit" she nods "you need anything?"

Regina shakes her head "I'll be going home in the morning so no".

"Okay then" she pauses unsure "what happened? Where has Sidney been? Why?"

Regina interrupts "Did he attack me? Pissed off I locked him up I guess" she shrugs.

"How did he get out?" She asks, knows better to ask why he was locked up, they can discuss that later.

She studies Regina's face, as usual it's a blank mask

"I don't know" Regina replies.

She frowns, caught a glimpse of something hidden in Regina's eyes, Regina quickly looks down, stares at their hands on the bed, hers covering Regina's.

"Thanks for coming" Regina tells her looks up briefly, pulls her hand away.

It's hours later, when she lies in bed, flat on her back, David curled at her side, arm stretched over her stomach. Her eyes on the monitor watching the coloured bars rise and fall, marking her son's breaths as he too sleeps.

Shame she thinks, it was shame in Regina's eyes.

The Enchanted Forest - The Missing Year

Robin brings her back to the castle, carries her to her chambers, clutching her tightly in his arms, reluctant to let go when he places her on the bed.

Snow watches him closely, he looks tired, clothes dirty, grime and sweat beads his hairline. She looks closer just in case, but he is not sick like Regina, just exhausted from tracking her, when she disappeared in the middle of the night, already feverish.

Snow sighs, runs her hand over the gentle swell of her stomach, David has requested she keep her distance, lest she too become sick, you have to think of our child he urged her.

So she hovers in the background and busys herself with shooing Robin and David from the room as Doc strips and examines Regina.

Infection, Doc tells her, which is good news really, the castle had been tense with the possibility of illness. There is no danger to them, Snow moves closer, David returned to the room says nothing.

Doc shows them the wound, small, dark and ruinous on the soft flesh of the underside of her foot. It must have hurt, surely she'd noticed, why did Regina ignore it? Snow bites back frustration, Regina is her own worst enemy.

Snow shakes her head and David huffs out a breath next to her, she places her hand on his forearm, he is just as frustrated as she is but his annoyance is laced with guilt, though he is not responsible for Regina's actions.

Snow remembers Regina jumping down from her horse, pulling off her boots and scrambling down the river bank, barefoot, squelching in the mud, running full pelt into the river and pulling David out before she had even chance to fully comprehend what had happened.

David and Robin on horseback on the bridge in front of them, she and Regina yet to set across the bridge, distracted, arguing about something, she can't remember what. The monkey had attack has taken them all by surprise. Robin quick to draw his bow took the monkey down but David's horse was young, unaccustomed to battle, reared and he tipped backwards, slid from his horse, look of shock on his face as he tumbled into the fast flowing river. Regina drenched yet smug as she pulled him from the river.

That was two days ago, when things were better, when Regina had stayed and ate with them instead of disappearing to her chambers, discussing plans with them, full of confidence, even sat next to Robin, kept the bickering to a minimum, almost banter. Snow careful to hide her smiles but David, grateful for his rescue, free with his, laughing loudly as Robin needled Regina and she gave back as good as she got, free with his hand on Regina's arm, thanking her again as they took their leave. A backwards glance went unnoticed by the pair left behind at the table, too busy arguing with each other to notice the rest of the room was empty.

Two days since she has seen the woman, since Regina shut herself away again, claiming illness, illness yes but preventable. Easily treated by magic should Regina wish it. David thinks the same, mummers low in her ear, why did she let it get so bad?

Robin waits uneasy outside, he was the last to see her "what happened?" Snow demands.

"I found her barely conscious in the forest" he starts.

Snow shuts him down "not now, two days ago? You were the last one to see her, what happened?"

Perhaps their bickering had turned nasty, Robin was a good man but Regina could try the patience of a saint, did he push her too hard? Unintentionally set Regina off on a downward spiral again?

Robin shifts his weight, shakes his head "I walked her back to her chambers, we...said goodnight, she was fine, she seemed fine".

Snow can tell she has upset him with her thinly veiled accusation "I'm sorry, I had to check, I just don't understand why she let"...Snow trails off.

Robin nods his understanding, face tight, eyes sad "please, if I can help further, do ask" with a backward glance to the closed door, he walks away, shoulders tense.

He's miserable Snow thinks but that cannot be helped, Regina is her priority right now, Robin will return to his men and son and he will be fine.

Regina does not lie easy in her fever. Doc has treated the wound, confident her fever will break. Snow tends to her, cools her brow with water, holds ife chips to her lips, washes her neck of the sweat that pools there, holds her still when she screams, pins her wrists to the bed when Regina attempts to rise hands, clawing at the air.

Snow banishes David from the room, Regina talks in her fever, secrets Snow long suspected but secrets none the less.  
She turns her head away when Regina cries her Leopold's name but does not let go of her hand. Wipes away tears, hers and Regina's, when Regina calls for her mother.

"What do you know of mothers" the words rise unbidden in her memories, not this Snow thinks not, never this.

She tries to console her, softly mummers comfort but Regina is lost deep in her own nightmares, calls for Daniel and Henry, writhes in the bed, pulls at the sheets, kicks and whispers, pain and sorrow, nonsense words, words running together, Henry's name a prayer on her lips.

Later when she stills, is quiet, speaks only now and again and Snow has to listen hard to hear the whispers "I'm sorry Henry, I'm sorry please forgive me, I'm sorry I'm sorry Snow I'm sorry." Snow blinks in surprise, hand trembles as she reaches for Regina's.

Time passes, Regina is quiet, finally sleeping, curled up into herself, arms wrapped around her stomach. Snow has pulled the top sheet from her, opened the window, Regina is still hot too touch but Snow thinks the fever has broken now. She is exhausted, wishes to bathe and sleep but she won't leave until she is sure Regina is past the worst.

Snow walks to the window, back aching. It is almost dawn, the sky a blue grey, the bird are waking, calling to each other, Snow loses herself in their chatter, Regina mummers from the bed, she is facing the window. Snow pulls the heavy curtains across the window, she is sorry to shut out the light, dragging the room back to darkness but Regina needs to sleep for as long as possible, Snow doesn't want the morning light to wake her.

She walks quietly to the bed, places the back of her hand to Regina's forehand, it's cooler, less clammy. Snow allows herself a smile, wearily sinks to her knees, smoothes Regina's hair back from her face, an unconscious gesture, she looks younger than her years lying here, she silently promises I will never tell your secrets. She will never speak of it, not to Charming and not to Regina, never.

Regina - Present Day -

Okay so Snow and David were not part of the plan, and she does feel some guilt for dragging them into it, and a hot trickle of shame at the concern in Snow's eyes, she pushes the thought away. No matter, the rest went well now all she has to do is wait.

She does not doubt that he will come, even half conscious, she could feel how tightly he held her to him, heard the fear in his voice when he called her name. She wonders if he caught Sidney, perhaps, she does not care, she planned both ways, Sidney has an escape should he need it.

Should she sit up? look brave or lie down, look more vulnerable? She settles for a mixture of both, half up, half down, doesn't want him to think she is sleeping and leave. She fluffs her hair, pinches colour into her cheeks.

He knocks softly at the door "Regina".  
Her heart picks up at the sound of his voice, she mentally scolds herself for being so easily charmed. She throws him a soft smile "Robin".

Robin sits on the bed by her side, reaches for her hand, hesitates, she lifts hers, closes the gap, he takes it

"How are you?"

"I'm okay a bit sore" and its true, the injury is real and she hadn't used magic to heal herself.

"Did you find him?" She speaks softly, looks away for a bit, then back up at him, aims for a mixture of anxiety and hope .

Robin's mouth turns down, brow creases "No, I didn't not but don't worry" he squeezes her fingers "I'm sure David and Emma will find him".

Hmmm that's not part of the plan

"yes I'm sure but..."

She trails off, sits forward, winces convincingly, left hand goes to the wound, to the stitches that pull there.

"Steady" he mummers, leans forward to shift the pillows behind her. He's so close now, her breath hitches as she breathes in his scent but he's moving away, letting go of her hand.

She tries another tact, "Robin what if he attacks Henry?"

She's all breathy concern now, "Sidney, well he's always been a nuisance but I never thought him capable of this, what if..I just got him back and now I think he should stay away from me, just incase."

"Regina, don't worry" Robin soothes her "he won't get any near you again or Henry I promise".

Yes! she's got him.

"How can you be so sure? there's so much going on right now with the town in danger again, I worry Emma is distracted and David and Mary Margaret have Neal now, I don't want to drag them into this. Sidney is my problem but, well my magic isn't working properly"

"Is that why you didn't use it"? He asks.

She shakes her head, no "it was so quick, I didn't really have time and... I promised Henry, that I wouldn't use magic".

"Regina, I'm sure Henry will want you to use magic to save your own life".

She says nothing, looks to the window, waits.

"Regina, hey come on" Robin is reaching for her hand again "it will be okay, my men and I will look for Sidney, keep an eye on you, your house and Henry"

"You would do that? For me?"

"Of course, I'm sorry Regina, I didn't want this" and he's off the bed now, hand rubbing his forehead, "the other night, it's nothing I could have predicated, no one could have done, it's just so..."

"Confusing" she supplies.

"Yes" he smiles at her, grateful for her understanding.

She has to know, "Robin, would you have come to me?, to talk, if I wasn't, well attacked"

"Yes of course, Regina please don't think otherwise, of course. I've not stopped thinking about you, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you".

"It's okay, I understand, she's you're wife and she was my prisoner"

"That doesn't matter now".

"Really?" She's genuinely shocked.

"I know Marian said some cruel things, no don't wave it away" he grabs her hand mid air, takes both in his "I know you pretend it doesn't bother you but I know it does. It's the past now, you can't let it define you".

She looks him straight in the eye, she's not playing games now, this hurts "but the past does define us, it defines you now, now you have yours in your present".

"Regina I..."


	7. Tired

Tired

It hits her as she pulls the casserole dish from oven, a wave of dizziness that sends her rocking back on her heels, forcing to her to slam the ceramic dish down hard on the marble work top.

Henry looks up at her "mom"?

She smiles at him, ignores the dizziness, just too much coffee, the office was cold the coffee hot, she drank a lot, her heart should be pounding with all that caffeine but its not, if anything it feels slower.

"Hope you're hungry"

She's made far too much for just the two of them but its fine, the casserole will keep for days. "Set the table please".

Henry is peering into the dish as she lifts the lid "careful its hot" she tells him, fanning the steam away from his face.

"Im not that hungry, you've made loads" he laughs "I could take some for grandpa and grandma tomorrow, grandpa says he's been living off tea and toast"

"Hmmm" she answers noncommittally, maybe she will. Neal is colicky, Henry had been the same, an awful time. "The Tupperware's in the cupboard" she flicks her thumb behind. Henry gives her a huge grin as he jumps down from his seat, sliding his socked feet across the polished floor.

She pushes her wine aside, reaches for her water glass, its empty. "Mom you're not listening" he complains.

No she hasn't been really, she apologises, asks him to tell her again.

Henry pushes a chunk of lamb around his plate, concern marrs his forehead "are you okay?" He asks quietly.

"Im fine" she tells him firmly. He doesn't look convinced.

"Were you...were you thinking about him?".

"No"

Silence.

She sighs "Henry I wasn't" and she wasn't, she wasn't really thinking about anything in particular and if she was, she cant remember it now. "But if I was, you don't need to worry. Henry, I don't want you to worry about this".

"But mom"

"No buts, Henry I'm your parent" I'm the adult she thinks "I know you care and I appreciate it but whatever has happened between Robin & I, its not for you to worry about, okay?".

"Okay?"

"Okay mom"

"Good" she smiles at him, stands to refill her water glass, squeezes his shoulder on the way past.

She fills the glass and drinks it straight down, refills it again forces little sips. God her head hurts. Surely theres some pills here, somewhere lurking in the cupboard, she rarely gets sick but headaches were a common occurrence before magic came back.

She could use magic now but Henry is the dining room and it feels like cheating plus shes so tired, shes not even sure she has the energy.

She snaps the pills out of the blister pack, takes two, makes her way back to Henry, listens to him talk, nods and asks questions.

Henry starts to clear the table "leave it" she tells him, "I'll do it in the morning. Henry looks surprised, he looks even more surprised when she returns from the bathroom having removed the make up from her heavy eyes, itchy and dry.

They watch tv in the den, its the warmest room, cosy with the brown leather and dark wood, she doesn't want to sit in the front room, too much white for her sore eyes.

This room is better, the leather couch is softer, worn from years of use, the front room is merely for show. This room was for morning cartoons and evening cuddles.

Henry is sat cross legged in front of the fire, flickering through the comics she got him "do you have them already?" she asks quietly.

They've been sat here in silence for at least ten minutes, the silence is comfortable but this is her time with Henry and she wants it to be good time and sat here on the sofa trying and failing to keep her eyes open is not what she had in mind.

"Nope, thanks mom".

"Is okay" her reply is slurred, she runs her hands up and down her forehead, shes so god damn tired. Forces her self to sit up, leans forward on the couch, "so whats new in the world of spiderman, is he still running around after that octopus man?"

Henry laughs and launches into spiderman's latest adventures.

For what seems like forever and shes nodded off on the sofa at least twice, Henry tells her he's going to bed. She apologises, I'm sorry Henry I'm just tired.

"Its okay mom, I'm tired too. Goodnite"

"Goodnite honey" she pushes herself up to standing, kisses his forehead "I love you"

"I love you too mom"

And he's gone up to bed, she should go to but its easier to sink back down onto the couch, just for a couple of minutes she tells herself.

Henry's shaking her awake, the curtains are open, light is streaming in. She's still on the couch in the den, still wearing yesterdays clothes. Henry is fully dressed with wet hair slicked down on his head.

"Mom"

"what time is it?" Shes blurry eyed, does not feel rested at all. Its ten o clock he tells her.

"Oh right" henry is looking worried. Its his first night with her after Emma's little time travelling trip and shes failing him, she needs to show him that's she's okay.

For him she's okay, yes she's cried over Robin, broken things in rage, imagined Emma's face when she punched a wall but she's not broken enough to fall apart in front of henry.

She's just tired.

A quick shower, a change of clothes, a coffee, she feels slightly more awake, suggests brunch at Grannys.

She's fine as they talk and eat, she drinks coffee and water. Snow joins them briefly, she mentions the casserole, promises to pop it by later.

Later comes sooner than she realises and she stood knocking at Snow's door, fighting the wave of tiredness that sweeps over her.

Snow looks at her hard, mouth opens then closes, says nothing. Regina takes a hard look in the mirror in Snows small bathroom, the light is harsh in the whitewashed room, she looks awful, dark circles and sallow skin.

She doesn't stay long, although its saturday she should go to the office, theres some paperwork she promised herself she would do. She needs to go to the shop but she does none of those things, walks home, every step wearisome.

Sinks onto her bed, promises herself she will make a doctors appointment if she doesn't feel better in the morning.

Snow is calling her name "Regina Regina"

Its so hard to open her eyes so she doesn't. She can hear low mummers a baby's cry then it fades away as sleep drags her down again.

David is shaking her now, she can tell its him by the smell of his cologne. She feels limp in his hold, boneless. He shakes and shakes her.

Stop she wants to say but she cant find the words, parts her lips but its a groan that escapes. Then she's falling briefly, head rolling back.

The water is a shock, instinct drives her eyes open. Snow is grasping her wrist, small nails digging into her flesh.

The light is too bright, her eyes close again "no you don't" its Snow's voice hissing at her.

"Should we tell her now"? Snow is asking.

"No not yet, lets get her downstairs first".

Snows hands leave her wrist, capture her face "stay awake, stay awake".

Its the concern that makes her open her eyes "henry?"

"Hes fine but you need to come downstairs".

David is behind her, hands under her armpits, lifting her off the bed. Her feet hit the floor sideways and she scrabbles to put them flat. Snow grabs her elbow, David at her back holding her up.

Down the stairs they go, she concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other. Snow is speaking but her focus is on her leaden feet.

"Henry's in trouble?" She repeats because if its not Henry then she just wants to go back to sleep.

"No Regina please listen", the words are muffled, she looks blankly at Snow, watches her lips but it's like she's under water. Please please Snow is saying she shakes her head, tries to push the fog from her mind.

A shriek from across the hall finally rouses her from her stupor. The shock of a body slamming into hers, pushing her into the wall, pain from the table jutting into her back pulls forth her anger. She swats at hands that rain down blows on her head before the David steps in between.

"You did this, you did this".

She's awake now, danger finally rousing her but the heaviness lingers, she has to force it away.

Marian is in her house, in her home and she is screaming at her.

"Its you, its always you, its your curse"

How dare she? Regina swings her glare at Snow and David "what the hell is going on?"

David has Marian in a bear hold, she struggles against him, quite the spitfire.

"Marian" Snow, hands up placating.

"If you cant be quiet, then wait outside" Emma tells her, appearing in the open doorway that separates the hall from the front room. Her tone is harsh, she looks pissed.

Regina shoots her a questioning look.

"Its been a long couple of days, come on, I want to get this over with".

Snow takes her elbow leads her into the room.

Robin is lying on the sofa unmoving. Snows pulls her forward, answers her unspoken question "a sleeping curse, you need to wake him up"

"Me?" Its a soft squeak of a question that leaves her, followed by a slow understanding.

The tiredness, the deep nothingness of sleep that she longs to fall into, its his. His eternal middle that drags her wearied soul down. No burning room for her, he suffers that alone but the crushing blackness that pulls at her, steals her waking hours, leaves her muddled and unable to function, because of this.

She discovers later that Marian hid Robin for two days, before his men grew suspicious and forced their way into the small house they had taken for a home.

Regina watches from afar as Marian apologises to Emma. Emma shakes off her apologies, its not understanding Regina sees in her eyes but impatience. Emma cares little for Marian's reasons, shucks out a sure yes must have been confusing, walks away from Marian.

Regina smiles at Emma's unintentional cruelty, its not out of loyalty that Emma acts but Marian picked the wrong time, the wrong time to realise her marriage was over, to hide Robin away. When Robin held the clue to the Ice Queen's salvation and the Saviour couldn't find him, couldn't stop the Ice Queen's rampage on the town. The wrong time for Emma to face magic alone while Regina slept and slept and Rumple refused to help, locked himself away when Belle left him.

The town went to hell while she slept but she doesn't care, that bright golden light that filled the white room when she pressed her lips to his. The look in his eyes when he opened them, holding her gaze with his, her name like a prayer on his lips.

His arm around her waist, pulling her to him as they sit side by side, is all that matters to her and should the town (& Emma) blame Marian for dragging out the troubles, well, she cant help but take a little pleasure in it, old habits die hard after all.


	8. Heat

Heat

Enchanted Forest - missing year Its hot, unbearably, deliciously hot. The heat invades even the coolest corner of the stone castle. Its residents found their relief in the lake, leaving the castle gardens mercifully empty.

In a secluded walled garden, known to few, far from the noisy lake, Regina worshippers the sun, reclining on a sun lounger in a deep blue bikini, sunglasses, book in hand, mocktail by her side complete with mini umbrella and fruit.

The midday sun is so hot, she delights in its warmth as it caresses her skin. Sighing as the heat sinks into her bones. Perfect, she feels calm, relaxed for the first time in so long. She is alone, as so often but this peace is of her choosing. Her choice to be here, far for prying eyes where she can just be.

The sun, this heat not uncommon for this time of year but the hottest day so far, has warmed something cold inside of her, she feels almost contented lying here.

This is new, never had she donned a bikini and laid in her garden in Storybrooke and certainly never here. She feels rebellious, defiant, imagines the look on the faces of the inhabitants of the castle if they could see their queen now, shamelessly indulging in the customs of their former realm.

The thought leaves her smiling, today is a good day, today the shadows will not drag her down, tomorrow they will return darker and more bitter than ever. She knows this is merely a respite, a short break in the clouds that smother her but today, the sun is shining and her heart feels lighter.

She frowns, as a shadow falls over her, she looks up from her book, irritation blooms but fades quickly, even his presence in this quiet space cannot irk her today if anything she is pleased it is only him.

Him, she can deal with, he may be one of the most annoying, smug, arrogant men she has ever had the mis-pleasure of meeting but he respects privacy, guards his as fiercely as she hers. A lesson she learnt when she tried to bribe his silence, only to find she needn't have bothered, he may have refused to leave the castle, he may get in her way but he had never spoken one single word regarding her initial (foolish) plan upon her return to this realm.

And now Robin cant take his eyes off her, stares and stares. She would find it rude, if she wasn't in such a good mood and the look on his face wasn't so gormless.

"What do you want?"

"Aloe" he mummers, drags his eyes from her body to her face, frowning at the sunglasses she wears. "Aloe" he points to the cluster of plants on the far side of the garden. "This sun is too strong, there will be need for it later"

She nods, those foolish to wander around uncovered will burn in this heat. Along with the sunglasses and lounger her magic had provided sun tan lotion, factor 30.

"Go on then" she tells him, turns back to her book.

Robin does not move, "milady, perhaps you should" he sweeps his hands down his body in a vague gesture "ummmm cover up, lest you too burn.

"Im fine"

"Milady that err clothing provides no protection" and he's staring again at her exposed skin, his eyes soaking up her. Its quite satisfying to see him so unsure of himself, that smug grin no longer adorning his features.

She snorts a laugh delighting in his unease "its called a bikini"

"Bikini" he repeats

With a roll of her hand she indicates her clothing or lack of "quite common in the land without magic, not alot all scandalous"

"You're practically nude your majesty" he whispers.

She doesnt care if he looks or not, quite enjoys the fact he is. Its quite sweet really, he looks at her appreciatively but there is no predatory stare to make her uncomfortable.

She has the upper hand here and is going to enjoy his discomfort, so she shifts a little on the lounger, arches her back, his eyes fall to her the curve of her waist as she stretches up, sweep across her chest as she pushes up.

She laughs "hadn't taken you for a prude thief, surely a man of your standing" she inflects venom on the last word, lest he think it a compliment "has seen much".

She watches amused as his face flushes red with hot anger, bites his tongue at her taunts.

Perhaps it is shocking she muses, even the tavern wenches would wear more when plying their trade. Corsets provide even the least endowed with amble cleavage but legs, thighs, waists are always covered in this realm.

She smiles inwardly, Robin cannot take his eyes from her waist, they travel down her legs, back up to her hips, linger at her belly.

A bead of sweat starts a slow descent from between her covered breasts, makes its way down her belly, Robin stands transfixed. Her finger tracks its path, slowly running behind the droplet, sweeping it away just as it hits the top of her bikini bottoms.

Robin looks away, turns his whole body away, a pulse of heat runs through her as she imagines Robin hard for her. "Milady" he hisses through clenched teeth, stalks away from her without looking back.

One minute later and he's hacking away at the aloe plants, grunting as he swipes his knife through the base of the sharp leaves, tearing them from the watches as he bends each leaf up, careful not to let the oil that resides inside each to spill out. He wraps a pile tightly in cloth, them binds, ties with string.

Careful though his movements are, she can see still the anger that rolls off him. She's taunted him worst before, questioned his honour in public and never had his anger flared so quickly or lingered as long.

Frustration? Once the shock of her attire had worn off, his gaze had turned appreciative, his desire evident but this heavy anger turns her amusement to something akin to shame.

Robin is standing now, plant clear of leaves. Sweat drenches his back and its her turn to gaze appreciatively as he removes his tunic. Muscles straining under the thin cream linen shirt he wears. He wipes sweat from his brow, licks his lips. Maybe he senses her eyes on him or maybe he just looks in her direction but he sees her looking, their eyes lock until see realises that cannot be as hers are obscured by her sunglasses. She looks away.

Sighing she cannot concentrate on her book, the sun feels too hot on her skin, that warm burn that she enjoyed is now no longer pleasant, the sweat that shimmers on her skin, sticky. She shifts position, puts down her book.

Robin is still working, his shirt now completely drenched, his hair slick with sweat. Regina sighs, summons a pitcher of water, two glasses and a taupe knee length kaftan.

He stops cutting the leaves as she stands over him but he does not look up.

"Here" she offers the water glass.

Slowly he turns, looks up at her. She raises her eyebrows at him, shakes the glass impatiently. Surely he is not still so angry he will not accept water, a peace offering. "Robin" she huffs and theres that smug grin on his face as he stands and takes the water.

She watches his throat as his swallows deeply, draining the glasses "more?" She asks.

"Please"

She tips the heavy jug to his glass, spills some on his wrist. When the glass is full, he lifts it to his mouth with a nod, without taking his eyes off her he runs his tongue along the water dripping from his skin, slowly sucks it, bottom lip dragging across his wrist.

Bastard, the heat raises in her face as her eyes follow his movements. He cannot see the path her eyes make behind her dark glasses but she knows he knows as he licks his lips just as slowly.

"What are these called?" He asks, finger running across the top of glasses, grazing her skin.

"Sunglasses"

"And this?"

She sucks in a breath as his fingers toy with the beaded tassel that decorates the neckline of the cover up shirt.

"Kaftan"

"Kaftan" he repeats rolling the word.

"Strange indeed" his head is turned to the side, curious "take them off"

"What!" The words leave her sharply and shes suddenly very aware of how little clothing she really is wearing, how quiet this secluded garden is, how close together they are stood, how in one hand he holds a water glass but in the other a knife. The step back is involuntary, Robin frowns at the movement.

"The sunglasses" he says "I cant see your eyes, it is unsettling"

"Oh" she puffs out in relief.

She removes them as he requested and holds them out to him. Robin places the knife and water glass on the ground, his linen shirt is unbuttoned at the front, the sun has already burned a deep red v line down the exposed flesh there.

He will need some of the aloe she thinks. Her stomach drops sharply as imagines running her fingers, slippery with the plant juice down the planes of his chest, thinks of digging fingers into hard flesh of his lower belly, stroking that hollow dip where stomach meets hips.

Robin fingers brush hers as he takes the glasses from her, the heat of his skin against hers does nothing to quell the low burn that has settled in her own belly. Robin turns the glasses in his hand, holds them up in front of his eyes before placing them behind his ears. He looks ridiculous, the round glasses far too small for his features, aviator shades would suit him better she thinks, aviator shades and a charcoal grey suit. God whats wrong with her, first shes mentally undressing him now shes dressing him.

"Fascinating" he mummers "and one can look directly at the sun with these, yes?" He turns and looks directly up at the sun swirls his head around the garden, delighting in dark glass.

"Yes briefly" unable to hide the grin from her face at his obviously curiosity.

"This realm of yours must be full of such wonders"

Her face falls "yes".

Robin tugs the glasses from his head sensing the shift in her tone, he hands them back to her, opens his mouth and then closes it.

Regina shivers despite the heat, shes been outside in the midday sun for a while now, it is hot and although her skin is protected, sun stroke is a possibility, she should return to the castle, bathe and eat before the rabble returns and her peace is shattered once again.

The bright garden seems to dim as her playful mood fades, familiar disappointment tugs at her as the shadows find her once more. She sighs, frustrated with herself, sorrow tugs at her heart. One small comment, one comment with no intent and shes pulling back within herself. She wants to return to the lounger, her book, the sense of peace she had briefly attained but she knows she cannot, best to leave now before his gaze of wonder turns to one of pity.

She takes the glasses from him, magically refills the pitcher, turns to leave.

"Thank you" Robin tells her she does not turn to look at him, doesn't want his thanks.

"Regina" Robin is calling after her.

"What?" She swirls around annoyed,what now.

"I like bikinis" he waggles his eyebrows at her.

A snort escapes her "I bet" Then why the anger? She wonders.

Robin closes the gap she has made between them "I'm sorry for before" shes frowning now, for looking or for allowing her to wind him up?

Despite her need to leave, need that is growing every second she lingers here, she is still curious, whats to know the reason so she waits.

"I?you?well you looked so different, so ummm undressed, you called me a prude and I guess yes I am. I thought it unlady like but now I realise that I was allowing my prejudices to get the better of me. From what I have heard of your realm it is very different, in attitude and customs. I should not of judged you by my standards, if you say that this attire is appropriate and common then who I'm I to judge".

"Unlady like?" That's what he thought, it was unladylike to sunbathe? It made him uncomfortable to see her, her body, that it was beneath her, did he think he a common strumpet, cheap!

"I suppose you think a woman should not be Queen? mayor? a single mother? Our place is in the kitchen, tending your needs, is that it. This is why I hate this realm, its attitude, its stifling customs. You thought better of me? Well I thought better of you Robin of the Forest".

God she's angry and disappointed, a little hurt truth be told. Did he look at her and see a whore? believe the rumours of the past, the gossip that the Queen give it away for free. She had never, only the huntsman had kept her bed warm on cold nights by mutual consent, yes she held his heart prisoner, the castle his cage as much as hers but never had she forced him into her bed, he desired her even as she sealed his fate.

"I deserve that but no I don't think so little of women to think so lowly of them. I know what woman are capable of, my mother would turn in her grave if she thought she had raised such a man. I am truly sorry. I never thought of you as just a woman"

"What do you think of me then thief?" Dangerous words but the hurts wins out and why she ever thought it would be different she doesn't know.

"Strong, capable, powerful, caring, lonely, beautiful, sensual, captivating, fascinating, frustrating, hotheaded, impatient, adorable"

"Adorable?" She has been called a lot of things, never such a list so freely spoken and never ever adorable.

Robin is grinning, he shrugs his shoulders "yes adorable, when you are angry, you get a little crease right here" his finger draws a line down between her eyebrows "an a vein appears right here" the same finger runs up her forehead and strokes softly back down "and when you are thoughtful you chew your cheek here" three fingers stroke her cheek, ghost lightly at the corner of her mouth.

She should move back, pull away but she cannot move, her eyes are locked with his. The heat in her belly has returned and with it a soft flutter, weakness at his words. She should be angry, how dare he suggest she behaved inappropriately and then feel free to touch her so, but she had teased him, she had invited his gaze and now she's torn, torn between the tenderness he has shown her but confused how to react, if she allows this, whatever this is, what will he think of her then?

"What would you have me do with those pretty words?"

"Whatever you like milady" he mummers low in her ear "I shall think no less of you either way"

"Either way" she breathes

"Stay or go, though I hope you stay".

She hasnt moved but maybe he has as they are so close, she can smell his musk, feel his breath on her cheek, one hand hovers by her waist, the other continues to trace her lip and she wants so badly to part her lips, to press a kiss against it, wants that hovering hand to grip her waist, wants to taste him, be tasted. Its unbearable, the heat between them, the heat of the sun beating down, she's covered in sweat, feels it pooling between her breasts, feels a different heat throb below. His gaze is stifling, her heartbeat loud in her chest.

"Its hot" she mummers.

"Like fire" he agrees.

She can't breath, finally pulls away. She needs to get away now, rid herself of these sticky clothes, needs a cold bath to cool down.

"You know what they say, play with fire and you will get burned" its a warning, a parting shot and then she's walking away fast, wondering if she meant the warning for him or for herself.

Later when the sun has set and the castle is cool again, she blames the heat of the day, too much midday sun for them both. She is relieved she walked away from him, left him standing there wanting, let him want, she does not need his pretty words or admiring looks.

Later still when she sleeps, she dreams of him, of bruising kisses, of skin shimmering with sweat, of that deep red v on his chest and of searing heat.


	9. See me beneath

See me beneath.

Enchanted Forest - the missing year

If Robin didn't know better, he would think Regina is flirting with him. She's been quite pleasant company ever since he came across her in the forest where he was checking traps and she claimed to be taking an evening stroll.

He wouldn't go as far to say she had been waiting for him but she seemed unsurprised that their paths had crossed and had quick to take up his offer to escort her back to the castle.

This isn't the first time he has run into her in the forest, in fact its the third, not counting the very first encounter involving flying monkeys and more surprisingly her travelling companion and former nemesis.

This is the first time however, that she has been 'nice', the first time he actually believes her when she says she was taking a stroll, the first time he has seen her calmly walking the path, not bursting through the trees, with dirt on her dress and a scowl on her face upon stumbling into him.

They walk side by side, another first, unless he counts the very first time when they walked side by side through the tunnel beneath her castle, first and last, until now. Now she walks by his side, matching his stride, instead of strutting ahead, fast paced.

Now, she looks at his face when she talks, actually talks to him. The conversation that she initiates, is light, she asks of his day, of his son.

He thinks she looks different but cannot put his finger on it, its not her hair or her clothes, she wears her queens regalia to which he has grown accustomed, the grand gowns and elaborate hair dos.

Every day her hair is teased or coiled into a new style, matched to the gown she wears. He sees the pattern to her attire, hair fully up if the dress is high cut, down or halfway if the dress is low cut. His personal favourite is hair down at the back, high at the front, low cut corset (for obvious reasons) and leather pants.

The pants are his absolute favourite, sleek and form fitting. He likes to watch her walk in them, that confident swagger, deliberate sway of her hips, dangerous, arrogant much like her or at least the version she projects to the watching world and they do watch her.

Robin is not the only man in the castle who watches the queen when she saunters into a room, struts through the corridors. His eyes are not the only ones to linger at her the swell of her breasts pressed against the constraining material, not the only man to remark on her beauty but he thinks he is the only man to look at her and think her beauty a sorrowful thing. The queen is like the winter storms he thinks, beautiful, cold and deadly.

Its only when she catches her finger on a bramble and sharp pain flashes in her eyes, he realises what is different about her, what is absent from her face, her demeanour and when the pain of the bramble sting fades from her features, it remains gone, that deep sorrow as heavy as any travelling cloak, tied too tight around her neck.

She is looking at him, head slightly to the side, curious look in her dark eyes. He hasn't answered her question he realises. She is laughing at him, almost a giggle, teasing. It throws him and he frowns.

She is pushing forward now, turning and waiting for him to follow, head down but with eyes flicking up at him through dark lashes as she sucks the small droplet of blood from her finger, releasing with a pop.

Its pleasant if unexpected, this lightness in her. She teases him, pulls smiles and shakes of his head from him. Brushes closer to him than needed when the path grows narrow.

He wonders briefly if she has been drinking as she stumbles a little, allows him to catch her. He smells no liquor on her on as she bestows her thanks to him, all breathy gasps and girlish giggle at her "fall".

The frown that crosses his features at that giggle fades but returns when she wants to sit and rest awhile.

She is truly beautiful in the moonlight, all soft skin and full tempting lips. A look on her lovely face, a look he only allows himself to think of on those rare nights when his son deems it possible to fall asleep in his own bed and to stay there.

Never in those wildest dreams and he has had many, imagines catching her bathing, rising from the lake at night, always at night, dark eyes, dark hair, wet clothes, imagines taking her in his arms.

Fantasies of pushing her against the castle wall, wrapping her legs around him, rushed and heated, finding her wet and wanting.

Sometimes when he is weary to his bones, alone and lonely, he thinks of firelight and her beneath him, wrapped in soft fur, uncovering her slowly, cherishing her, waking next to her, a slow soft smile just for him.

He never thought of this, this Regina that flutters her eyelashes at him, presses close to him, fills him with a shallow want, a need that is purely physical, a low heat that doesn't reach his heart.

His body responses when she kisses him, his arms pulling her closer and closer, kissing her deeply from the moment her lips touch his, grasping fingers running through that dark hair that he had so longed to touch, his fingers caressing her skin and finding it just soft as he imagined.

He tilts her head, changes the angle, its not quite right, he pulls her on to him, shes light in his lap, his hands rest at her thighs as she shifts her weight against him, presses in, grasping at his neck, her fingers in his hair.

She's moaning in his ear as he kisses her neck, its not the soft moans that he'd imagined, longed to draw from her, she giggles as he presses kisses to her neckline. He finds it irritating, wishes she'd stop and suddenly it all feels wrong.

He pulls back but she reaches for his neck, presses her lips there, biting and sucking. Its nice and he's hard for her as she rocks against him but he needs to see her face, needs to see those dark eyes. Find something that is missing from her, missing from this.

He pushes her back, she winds her hands around his neck, pulling him towards her, angling his lips back to hers. He turns his head but she follows after him, needy and 'wrong' some how.

He takes her face in his hands, forces her to still, that heat, his desire gone, leaves him feeling cold and lonelier than he has felt for a long time.

This is not his Regina, not the one from his fantasies and certainly not the flesh and blood queen that irritates and amuses him in equal measure.

This woman, sat astride him offering him her body, is not the woman with such sadness in her eyes, who carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, who makes him want to pull her into him and just hold her.

His Regina, if he can call that and he shouldn't because she is not his, his Regina would not giggle and flirt like a tavern girl, his Regina has poise, is sensual without trying, his Regina speaks in low tones, thoughtful measured words when she is troubled, spits out insults when threatened. His Regina is oft inappropriate with her words, has no filter for her thoughts, either doesn't care or forgets that she cares when she speaks her mind freely. She doesn't wheedle, she doesn't stumble into him 'accidentally on purpose' and should his Regina ever deemed him worthy of seduction, it would never feel as wrong as this.

Robin grabs the woman from his lap, sets her on her feet but wraps his hands tight around her wrists "who are you?" He demands.

Disappointment and anger flash across Regina's face as she speaks "what a shame, I was so enjoying myself but I see that, yet again SHE has got there first".

She pushes Robin away with such force, he stumbles back, legs hitting the log and he falls awkwardly to the side. Ignoring the pain, he pulls himself back up, removing a hidden dagger from his boot as he does so.

He is prepared for the green smoke, does not blink as the woman transforms, shows her true face.

"Zelena" he growls.

"Robin Hood" and there's that annoying giggle again. He is not a violent man but when pushed is more than capable and that giggle alone makes his blood boil.

"My little sister will be so disappointed to know you rejected her" she laughs, a thin laugh, Robin knows his rejection has upset her, sees it in the tight line of her mouth, jealously mixed with the anger held there.

"Its not her I rejected" he answers, voice low, empathise on her.

"Careful now" Zelena threatens, drawing herself to full height, "no need to get personal"

"Personal? I think it is" Robin tells her.

She laughs again, that light laugh meant to show how little she cares but it falls short, the bitterness shows. Its unattractive and Robin wonders why its so ugly on her and so compelling on her sister.

"What do you want?" He bites out.

"Oh I was just having a little fun, taking a break from all my hard work but don't worry dear, my plans are still in place"

"And what plans would that be?"

"Not telling" Zelena winks at him causing Robin to roll his eyes, she smirks at him "see you around lover" then she is gone.

Robin stands alone in the forest, gripping his knife and thinks next time he dreams of Regina and he will because Zelena's little trick has only deepened his desire, it will be dreams of sunlight and soft kisses.

He allows himself a small moment of quiet pride and amusement, that a outlaw such as he, that has never vowed fidelity to any king or queen, finds himself in the position to know this one so well. His eyes may have been fooled but his heart, his soul had seen beneath.  



	10. Replacement

Replacement

Mostly Marian's POV & Regina being well Regina...

Marian dreams, a vivid dream, a dream so real that she shivers in her sleep, that the tip of her nose hurts from the pressure of the window which it presses against, the palms of her hands hurt from pounding on that window and her throat is hoarse from shouting.

She wipes her fogged breath from the glass, its cold outside but the room which she sees is warm and bright, a fire roars in the grate, burning orange and the blood red of the apples, the only colours in the otherwise black and white room.

The room is not empty for the Evil Queen stands in front of the fire place staring at the fire, glass in her hand, blood red like the apples, like the colour of her dress. A tight deep red dress that hugs her form, highlights her curves, reveals her legs. Scandalous Marian thinks in her dream, that much leg on show.

The Queen turns, Marian follows her eye line, the Queen watches the clock, she is waiting for someone and yes there on the table sits another glass of red wine. The Queen does not have to wait much longer for the door is opening.

Marian draws a ragged breath as Robin enters the room, he is smiling at the Queen, shucking off his jacket and scarf, clothing to her which still seems so foreign on him, hard and unyielding not like the soft leather or corse worn linen of their past.

She remembers, a strange thing to note at the time and stranger now to hold onto but nonetheless she remembers every time she sees that coat, she feels the cold metal of what she now knows to be a zip, pressed against her cheek as he crushed her into him, in that bright bright room, noisy and filled with strangers, she remembers her words, her shock and absolute delight that he was there. Her Robin whom she never thought she would ever see again, she remembers studying his face, pressing her nose into him to breathe in his scent, that she knows so well and she always remembers, (tries to push the memory away, along with the other revelations that marred their reunion that wonderful and awful night), that it was not the same and still is not the same. The clothing of this world has left its mark on him, stolen his scent of leather and bonfire and replaced it with something earthy and green and she does not like it.

Robin has the wine glass in his hand and is rolling the red liquid inside, he brings it to his lips and drinks, it must be good as he smiles after taking a deep swallow. Marian's dream self is frowning, Robin is an ale man.

Marian cannot hear through the glass, she wishes she could and is glad she cannot for it is an awful horror to watch, would be a unbearable torture to hear as Robin kisses the Queen and Marian can see her lips part in a silent moan as Robin grasps her arse and tugs her closer to him. Unbearable to watch the Queens hands wind around her husbands neck, her tongue in his mouth.

Marian wishes to turn away but she cannot, the dream holds her frozen in place. She cannot turn her head, close her eyes but she can scream and shout so she does but the noise she makes cannot quiet the sound in her head, that long screech of metal teeth coming apart as Robin runs his hands up the Queens body and tugs down the zip that binds the tight red dress to her, leaves her belly bare and her legs free to move, to wrap around her husbands waist as he holds her in place, his lips never breaking contact with hers.

Just before Robin and the Queen start to fuck and Marian will not think of it any other way, she finds she can move, she can finally turn away and shes down on her knees gagging in the dirt.

The dream will not end, Marian is beyond despair now, there are no words to convey the agony and the desperate need to wake up and find Robin beside her, for this nightmare to fade with the bright light of the day.

The dream will not end, as much as she does not want to, she knows without a doubt that she must if she wishes this nightmare to end, so she finds herself standing and looking through that window once more, beating her palms against the glass as she does so, at the sight of her husband tenderly holding the Queen to him, stroking her face, all soft kisses and rubbing noses, basking in their afterglow.

When Marian finally awakes, sobbing and gasping, her palms red and drenched in cold sweat, its to a empty room.

Two days have past and still the dream refuses to fade. At first Robin is concerned at the sight of her, tired and drawn upon his return, at first he answers her questions of where he was that night and the following and it all sounds perfectly reasonable she tells herself, Robin is working as the deputy's deputy, taking the night shift, while Emma and her boy settle into their new apartment and her father, the former Prince now deputy spends his nights with his wife and their newborn.

Robin is temporarily taking all the night shifts she repeats to herself and anyone that will listen, so he can spend time with her and Roland in the day, working to pay for the new home that he has got for them, which will be theirs tomorrow after he pays a deposit and they sign the papers at the town hall.

At the town hall, in which the Mayors office is not on the ground floor but on the second floor and thats important because it makes the dream just a dream and Marian knows because she walked past the town hall, back and forth three times dragging Roland behind her, the morning after that terrible dream and has seen for herself the window to the office is not visible from the ground.

The irritation on his face grows as she asks him where he is going, what time he will be back. His patience with her constant questions is wearing thin, she will not tell him of her dream only that she'd dreamt he was gone and asks him again if he has to work tonight. He tells her yes and reminds her he has been by her side all day and will be tomorrow. She promises herself she will not ask him again and will ignore the scent of flowers that returns when he returns and fades when he leaves.

Today should be a good day, today they start over in this new land, today Marian gets what she has always longed for, a permanent home for her and her family. Longed for but never asked for but here in this loud crowded realm has become a reality.

So it is with delight that she slings her arm into Robins, ignoring the feel of the bulky coat that he wears against her soft wool cloak that she refuses to put aside.

That delight gone, replaced with dread when she steps into the Mayors office in the early evening and finds she knows this room, its decor burnt as brightly into her mind as the fire that burns in the grate.

The Queen is not present and she breaths silent relief, her hand shakes as she signs the papers, shakes her head in wonder that the contract needs her consent too, not just his, equal to her husband.

Its as she brings her delighted smile to meet his small one that the Queen enters the room.

The Queen, Regina she reminds herself, smiles at them both though her smile widens for Robin and her smile for Marian is a small thing. Robin turns his whole body to greet Regina and Marian finds she must shuffle to the side to avoid being trapped by his back and the desk.

She is aware that Regina is speaking about their house, a house she calls it, a house Robin repeats, Marian is frowning and thinking of the word home but Regina is removing her coat, revealing the tight deep red dress underneath, the one that shows her legs, the one with the metal zip that runs all the way down the back and can be so easily removed.

Regina has her hand on Robin's arm and is apologising for the late hour but asking him if he can stay a while, town business she mummers and Robin is turning to Marian and asking her if she wants to wait for him in the diner where Roland is with Little John, that he won't be a moment, that they can eat before his shift.

Marian can hear roaring in her ears and she's aware that she's shaking her head stupidly because there is no way, no way Robin is staying here in this room with that woman in that dress.

No no she hears herself say, Robin stops a bemused look on his face, hand halfway out his coat pocket, holding his wallet from which he no doubt intended to give her some paper which acts as the currency here.

Ok he says and to her great relief they are leaving but not before Robin mumbles a embarrassed goodbye to Regina and not quick enough to miss the smirk on the Queens face as Marian rushes Robin to the door, keys to their new home forgotten on the desk.

She sees Regina everywhere, every-time she leaves her little house that she loves, Regina is there. Regina with her sleek shiny black hair while Marian's hair grows wild and bushy in the moist clime of the harbour town.

Regina in her tight dresses and fitted trousers that follow the shape of her lithe body and leaves Marian feeling shapeless and unattractive in her smock dress and comforting cloak.

Regina and that rich scent of flowers that is hers, that overwhelms Marian as she passes Regina on the street, that lingers in the sheriffs office, that she smells clinging to the seat she takes in the diner next to Robin waiting there and he swears Regina has not been there, he has not seen her since the day they signed the papers to their house (and its still a house, not a home when he speaks) but its her scent lovely and expensive and Marian smells only of soap.

Still it goes on, twice, three times in one day, there is Regina filling her basket with fresh salad and vegetables in the indoor market causing Marian to look guilty at the contents of hers, filled with the chocolate and candy that Roland demands and she desires.

And there is Regina eating a salad and sipping water as she lunches with her boy who talks and talks while Marian munches on doughnuts, which she seems to crave so much, (all sweet things actually and bread never has she eaten so much bread before, cant get enough) and tries to talk to Roland who stirs his ice cream listlessly, bored.

She thinks she's safe Regina has returned to her office and Marian has been looking forward to this all day and will not think the Queen, of Regina any longer.

She feels so daring and bold when she slips into the dark trousers and silk shirt, she has never worn breeches before and now she decides she will never take them off.

She hesitates a little before trying the dress but she's glad she did as she looks just as good as Regina in it (and there she goes again thinking of the Queen). Its not the same dress obviously but its similar, all the clothes are similar but she has made sure to pick brighter colours after all she does not wish to look like Regina, even though she thinks they look a little alike.

She's waiting as the clothes are wrapped, eyes on a bright blue scarf, wondering if she has enough for that too when of course Regina Mills enters the shop and of course her parcel is pushed to the side to make room for the large bundle of clothes that the shop owner wrestles on to the counter. Clothes that she did not see on the shelf, gorgeous dresses all soft fabrics and rich colours.

Autumn collection, designer, ordered in especially the assistant whispers to her unspoken question. Marian thanks the assistant and to the owner, who does not hear her, too busy kissing up to Regina, telling her what a great eye she has, to hear Marian's mummered thanks.

She returns home and refuses to show Robin her clothes, stuffs them in the wardrobe, telling him she has a headache, of which she has many these days as does he.

Marian feels watched even in her little house and when Robin is out she covers the mirrors and uncovers them before he returns, breaks a couple of the smaller decorative ones accidentally on purpose. One afternoon when Robin takes Roland to the park and she decides to stay behind wishing to finish the curtains she is making, she forgets to uncover them and he is furious with her in a way she has never seen him before over something so trivial, stalks out of the house doesn't not return before his shift.

Things have been bad between them but she has been so busy with the house and Robin has been working nights and in day, with his men, helping them, their house in far better condition than the rundown cottages the men have taken, that she has hardly seen him, they make excuses to each other and make promises but tonight she plans to change that so she asks John to come over, watch Roland and she puts on her new dress, packs up the soup and sandwiches that she has made from scratch and makes her way to the sheriffs station.

Robin is surprised to see her but he accepts her apology and tells her its a nice surprise and he likes her dress and as she learns across the desk to kiss him, moving a still warm takeaway coffee cup out of her way she chooses not to see the dark red lipstick on its rim.

The dreams start again and are relentless, the same dream that she wakes from only to fall back asleep to the same dream over and over.

In the dream, she stands at a balcony sad and alone until she is greeted by a fairy who tells her she needs to find her true love, her soul mate made only for her. They go to a tavern but before she enters the fairy tells her, its the man with the lion tattoo and she smiles and smiles because its Robin and then she is in his arms, safe, warm and loved. He is kissing her and kissing her and its wonderful until he says her name, Regina and when Marian looks up to tell him no, he is gone and she is staring at her reflection in a mirror but its not her face that looks back but Regina's.

When she sees the fairy in the diner in the waking world and it has to be her, if ever a girl looked like a fairy, its this one so shes walking on shaky legs and grabbing at the girl, words tumbling out of her mouth "is Robin the man with the lion tattoo?" and the fairy/girl looks shocked (and a little triumphant) and exclaims "he told you" Marian knows, knows the truth of it.

Regina is waiting in her office when Tink comes in and of course she already knows what she will say, as Sidney has already called and repeated the conversation to her word for word.

Just had he has repeated any other conversation that Marian has had with anyone in this town, conversations with Granny about this realms food and how Marian worries she is gaining weight but cannot stop eating pastries, well that would be the greed spell dear.

Conversations with Little John that Robin is always working, well that would be her spells too, a little damage here to a fire hydrant in the middle of the night shift, a little trouble in the bar where the drinks were awfully strong that night and so on and poor Robin is exhausted and arguing with his wife who questions him over and over again.

Marian can cover as many mirrors as she wants but their house is not private to them, the bugs in the walls have seen to that. Regina listens their arguments and hears the long silences and when she runs into Robin totally on purpose at any chance she can, she is makes sure to offer him a understanding look, hot coffee (leaving lipstick marks on hers), makes him smile with that sass between them that comes so easily, makes sure to be helpful, tells him where to pick up the best quality second hand furniture, drops by at the start of his shift with Henrys old clothes and toys for Roland (enchanting objects to smell of her perfume, marks Robin's skin with her scent without ever touching him), anything to help put right the wrong she did to him all those years ago she tells him until he tells her that there's no need, he forgives her.

There's a moment between them when they stare and stare at each other and the whole world and Marian and all this mess and heartache drops away and its just her and Robin as it should be, as its meant to be. Then she's telling him that she will wait for him, that's she not his second chance, never was, is she and always has been his first.

Regina has seen into Marian's head while manipulating her dreams and has seen that Marian is a pale imitation of her, a replacement, an almost but not quite, filling the gap when Regina ran.

Regina has watched Marian and she can see the similarities, the dark hair, the brown eyes, the stubbornness, the strength, the mother in her because she is a good one. Regina can see that and will not take that away from her.

Regina has seen Marian's past, seen the echoes of her own, felt the scars of a mother pushing and pushing etched on Marian's heart, seen (and felt glad) for Marian as she escaped her loveless marriage, walking away less damaged and unbroken, rescued by Robin.

Regina does that wish to break this woman merely to open her eyes, make her see that while Robin may have fell in love with her its because she, Regina was absent.

Regina sees now that what has gone before was preparation, preparing Robin for her, so he and he alone would truly understand her, Marian was the groundwork, her death the final piece, that loss of true love, the final connection between them.

She sees shades of Daniel in Robin, they are not the same, such as she and Marian are not the same but the similarities are there, they foreshadow each other and while she will never ever view Daniel as anything less than her true love, never reduce him and what they had to her preparation for Robin (because she cannot, will not allow that all the horrors of the evil queen were for naught) so she calls herself a hypocrite and moves on her with plans.

Marian is a good woman and woman with a conscience and Regina has one too but rarely listens to it. Marian has a selfless heart, a heart that would put others needs before her own and Regina has a resilient heart but it bleeds and bleeds for her desires alone.

Robin is a good man, a loyal man, a man torn in two, a man who looks at another woman who is not his wife with love and hates himself for it.

Regina knows that Robin knows the truth of it but he just needs a little time to accept that the love in his heart for his wife is no longer needed, that he can let go of the replacement he found while Regina burned her world and rebuilt them a new one.


	11. Interpretation

Interpretation

Ever since Regina declared Robin Hood public enemy number two (after the official one, her sister), she has become Robin's unofficial interpreter, her task to explain the insults that leave him puzzled.

Snow gives him his due, he holds his own very well against the constant onslaught of abuse and snide remarks that Regina chucks his way, even if some times he doesn't fully understand the words, he manages to give it back, backs her ever so politely into a metaphorical corner until Regina has no where else to go but storm from the room in a snit, which was probably her goal in the first place so everyone's happy, sort of.

His merry men find it endlessly amusing, have made it into a drinking game, a shot for every forest, mud or foliage related insult, double shots for every thief or outlaw taunt that's reported back (mostly curtsey of Grumpy) to their camp at the end of the evening.

Robin finds it less amusing but he tolerates it, says it helps keep the camp spirits up. He wont speak of the first night of their return, not to her and not to David. Snow can guess at the circumstances Robin found himself party to, Snow knows him well enough now to know that whatever Regina had planned upon her return to the castle, he would not have stood idly by and let it happen.

She hasn't mentioned the note to Robin and she hasn't discussed it with Regina either, the line they all walk together is thin and although she refuses to avoid the egg shells that litter it and will call Regina out when she needs to, some things she leaves alone, the note and her attitude to Robin are two of them.

So instead she gets to hear every single insult that Robin is puzzled by and she's come to enjoy it somewhat, looks forward to Robin seeking her out at breakfast or drawing her aside as they wait in the war chamber for Regina, for Regina is always without fail late.

Regina is nothing if not inventive, sometimes she's out and out right rude, (the rudeness normally involves likening Robin to a flying monkey or a slurs on his manliness) sometimes, though rarely, the insult is subtle or political "a bleeding heart liberal" had Robin concerned, taking the heart part literally.

The morning after Robin returned from a all day trip with Regina and Charming, a trip which yielded no results unless she counts David's headache, he has a whole list (of insults and his accompanying queries) which he hands to Snow with a waggle of his eyebrows.

1) Buttwad - ?

2) The zombie monkeys are looking for brains you don't have to worry - zombies?

3) People like you are the reason we have middle fingers - huh?

4) The wheel is spinning dear but the hamster is dead - is this about the dark one? whats a hamster?

5) You have as much common sense as you have deodorant -assume i have none but what exactly is deodorant?

6) Did you learn that from Facebook? What's a Facebook?

7) There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation cannot cure. Reincarnation? A flower?

8) Dental floss ?

9) We don't all live like the Amish - Amish, is that a village? Assume they don't wash?

10) A bigger prick than a cactus - assume this is very rude but cactus?

"Thats all I could remember, I'm sure Ive missed a few" he tells her.

"No doubt" no doubt he has, Regina had a whole day to target Robin, Snow doubts she missed any opportunity to talk trash at him. "Im sure you gave as good as you got Robin"

Robin hums his reply "Of course your Majesty, all good clean fun of course" he smiles.

"Its a shame Regina doesn't wear her hair in pigtails and then you could just pull them and get it over with"

Robin looks horrified "why would she wear the tails of pigs in her hair, is that a thing in your world, thats truly disturbing"

Snow sighs "No, its just a hair style, children wear them".

"So you are saying that the Queen and I are behaving like children?"

"Yes, I suppose"

Robin looks annoyed, tenses his jaw. She wont take it back, they are acting like children.

"Its her fault" Robin whines.

Really?, did he really just say that?, Snow raises her eyebrow at him and he flushes and looks down, shuffles in his seat "but its helping her right? This" he spreads his hands "this, her insulting me, its helping her?"

Snow nods, ponders the question "yes I think so but you need to be careful, Regina's not, well she's not in the best place right now" she doesn't need to say it, he knows but she finds herself wondering why he cares so she asks "Robin, do you care for Regina?"

He does not answer her immediately so she already has her answer, she doesn't need to study his face, to watch him avoid her eyes, doesn't need to see the frown lines that form or the way he shakes his head side to side a little, to doesn't need to hear the words he actually speaks to interpret the answer as yes.  



	12. Broken

Broken

She's coming apart, finally broken, falling and she cant stop, cannot pinch the edges together to stop herself unraveling.

The tiny part of herself that stands outside, watching the spectacular mess that she has become, nods at its inevitably, wound too tight for too long, wounded too deep for far longer, nods and is pleased that she didn't break for him.

Didn't break the night it ended, didn't break the next night when he came to say goodbye, held it together when he said she wasn't a monster although they both knew it was a lie.

Kept walking, head held high, past the ice cream parlour, ignored the sharp pain, pushed back the tears that threatened at the sight of his hand on her back, her hand in her sons, smiling all of them smiling.

Everyone smiling, always smiling at her, Snow smiling at her, that awful awful smile (the one that makes her want to rip snows pretty young face off so she doesn't have to see it ever again) the smile that says I understand, I understand your pain, bites her tongue so hard it bleeds and merely nods, swallows the blood, thanks her for coming and shuts the door.

She didnt tear the town apart when they told her to pack up her office for the second time. Stood back straight, mask in place, didn't deny the accusations they threw at her, that she'd fixed the town election (because she had), didn't admit it either, sneered a good luck to Snow, ignored her protestations that she didn't want this, never wanted this. Shook David's hand from her arm with only the force that it required, no more no less, laughed at his promises to fix this, to talk the towns people around.

Even when in the cold silence of her house, the ticking clock too loud, the wine too weak, she refused to give in, fought and fought the darkness that threatened to swallow her whole, to give in would be to lose the one thing she has left, to lose Henry.

Henry who is celebrating in the diner with his family, Henry who has not slept one night in his room since David and his sword came for him, before Cora, before Neverland, Henry who she sees for lunches and who brings her coffee to her office after school, which wont happen now as she has no office. Henry who doesn't know what to say to her and he shouldn't because he is only a child and she is not his burden so she will pretend it doesn't hurt and wont ask him for anything he doesn't offer.

But in the end it is Henry that breaks her, its an overwhelming urge to protect him that leaves her shaken and trapped, unable to stem the flow of memories that assaults her, that leaves her a quivering mess, sinking to the diner floor, in full view of the whole town, Rumples fingermarks red bruises around her throat, back pushed up against the wall, on her knees, no where to go "the queen is broken" Rumple sneers and she is, she is.

That anger that coloured her magic, that had flung Rumple hard against the wall, that anger that neither of them had expected, long gone, faded and taken her magic with it, leaving her defenceless.

Defenceless against Emma's confused face as she stands frozen in the living room of Emma's new apartment, staring at her front door that Regina has blown to pieces, staring at Regina's rage, eyes lingering at the way she drags Henry behind her, his hand held so tightly by hers, before turning her confused face once again to Regina's angry one.

Emma's confused face, the one she wears when confronted with wicked witches and various fairytales come to life, that confused face that makes her look like a puppy dog and Regina wishes she didnt wear that face, flashes to memories that turn her stomach, memories of Rumple, of puppy dogs and unicorns and of telling Snow that a surprising amount of spells involve baby parts, baby parts never but unicorns and puppy dogs and other vile acts that make her skin crawl and her throat retch, leaving her dry heaving trying to spit out the words to make Emma understand, force her to let go of Henrys hand, stuns her to silence as Henry moves quickly from her side to Emma's with that disappointed look on his face, again and again and he doesn't understand, maybe never will, that everything she does, she does for him.

So she stands in silence and prays to whatever cruel gods watch her life and they must because its so too juicy not to, that this time they will be merciful and Emma will understand. She stands and listens, ignores Snow who is also there and of course she is there to witness this.

She watches Snow and Emma, watches as they listen to Henry and turn their eyes to her and the relief is a solid thing that she almost staggers back under the weight of it, they understand, they both understand and for once she is glad of their presence, glad of that look that Snow gives her, pleased to see that hard line that Emma's mouth forms.

"Its unacceptable" she spits out and Emma nods, both women nod so she nods too and leaves, waves her hand, fixes the door, baring the women and Henry from her, doesn't want to look at his face, does not heed Snow's cries for her to stay, muffled behind the door.

It was a mistake to go to the diner, she should have gone home to lick her wounds in private but she wants coffee and needs the presence of strangers to keep herself in check and when the door opens she tells herself its relief she feels not disappointment that its not Snow, following her here to check on her, to force her back to Emma and Henry to make her leave the diner, which was definitely a mistake because although she has her coffee and her seat (they may have taken her title from her but they don't dare take her spot) she also has the pleasure of sharing the diner with the outlaw and his wife.

The gods are good to her today because she does not have to endure the twisting pain of watching them for long and the distraction is needed because she never could tear her eyes away from them whenever she sees them, she has to watch, a compulsion she cant fight.

Rumple is right up in her face "how dare you?"

"Don't you play the injured Grandfather card with me, do you think I would allow you to teach Henry your special brand of magic? Its not going to happen"

Never ever going to happen, she's calmer now, now she knows shes not alone but she will deal with that later. The shock has faded, a terrible shock to walk into Gold's shop and find Henry magically swirling a broom and a bucket, a la Mickey fucking Mouse.

"Really? And you get a say in this do you, last time I checked you are not blood related" its snarled into her ear, he's really pissed with her, pissed that she'd thrown him against the wall, pissed that she taken Henry and left but he's still the monster under that sharp suit, still the one that made her and knows how to break her, so he does.

Breaks her in public, breaks her by dragging her from her seat and no one blinks an eye, as he digs his hand into her side and pulls him towards her, whispers hate, tells her the truths she already knows, Henry would rather learn from him than her, her soulmate doesn't want her, the town doesn't want her, her mother, her sister, and he how he hates her, how he can barely stand to look at her, then he's holding her by her throat, just like her mother, just like her sister and as he has done before but this is a mixture of magic and physical force, he binds her with the magic but squeezes her throat with his hands, tosses her to the side, skidding against the wall, "worthless" he sneers and is gone.

He apologies months later, says it was guilt, says she'd looked so terrified, such fear in her eyes at the thought of him as Henry's mentor, and he had understood, that guilt had turned to anger and he turned that anger to her but really it had been his, it was unfair and he was truly sorry.

An epiphany he had reached after Emma and the Charmings had ripped him a new one, after Belle had left him and after Henry gave him look after disappointed look and now Gold is on his knees trying to rebuild and she understands, nods gives a tiny assent of forgiveness. He takes it and tells her she still owes him, that its his actions that got her her thief back. She tells him not to push his luck. Robin was already on his way back to her, telling his wife that he loved another as she ordered coffee and held herself together by a thread, watching them in the booth, never ever imaging that conversation was taking place right before she flew apart, right before she hit the wall and couldn't find the strength to get up.

He was there, lifting her up, holding her close, taking her out of the diner and its crowding walls, away from prying eyes and his wife came too. His wife's hand holding hers, telling her its okay, its okay, it will be okay as her own tears fall, as she lets her husband go but keeps hold of her rivals hand and everyone, everyone who matters, says it will be okay over and over again, until finally it is.  



	13. The Victim

The Victim

So its come to this, some how he's not surprised. It started with lies and death and it will end the same way but he wont be the victim this time around.

He knows her secret, discovered it by accident then pretended not to know, she thinks him too dumb to notice but her arrogance will be her undoing that and the knife in his hand.

She's pushed him too far this time, the sheer audacity of the woman, does she think she can shut him out when it suits then reel him back him with tales of true love and insincere apologies.

She took everything from him, everything he should have had, could have had, so much pain all in her name.

So yes he will play along for a while, do what he must but he tells himself he wont enjoy it, spending time with her, working her over mentally although he wouldn't mind physically should the opportunity arise, she is stunning. Her body tempting and his betrays him often but he reminds himself of the filth within and its easier to stay on track.

He listens when she speaks, he knows her well enough to hear what she doesn't say, offers comfort which she takes, which she thinks she is entitled too, she is not.

He knows her story, the truth if it and it used to matter to him, coloured his judgement, softened her darkness but no longer, not now he knows what he knows, what he didn't know before.

He wanted to be cunning, she has always been cunning, wanted to be a worthy opponent but time is not on his side. She is no longer alone, weak but not alone so he must act now and he supposes it is fitting, the simplicity of it, the brutality.

She really doesn't have time for this, she has been chasing her tail and blondes in tacky dresses ever since her time travelling trip. Said blonde was supposed to stay in her room at Granny's, supposed to put on jeans and a t-shirt and stay put but nope that hadn't happened, least she will be easier to find in her realms version of blue polyester.

Emma really thought she had gotten through to the girl, that they had 'bonded' over disconnected families and the pressures of magic but apparently not as the girl's gone and run off somewhere.

Its late, she's tired and she really doesn't have the patience for a call from a frantic Henry, telling her she needs to go check on his other mother immediately because he has "just a horrible feeling something might be wrong", thinks its a "true love thing" and if she doesn't go right now, he will so she's on her way to the ex-mayors house where she's sure to be more than welcome.

Despite her reluctance she doesn't take Henry's words lightly, a lot of weird crap goes down in this town and this involves Regina so...She's discounted blondie, if she had beef with Regina, Emma would have heard about it by now and besides she'd been spotted the other side of town, near the woods which was where she was heading until five minutes ago.

Now she's hot footing it across town, the bug is still out of action since it took its little swim in the lake, so she's running. Running and multitasking, calling Robin to warn him that he and his men are not alone in the woods (and seriously when are they going to give up the freeloading and start paying taxes like the rest of them) but he's not answering so she's leaving a message and then dialling David to give him a heads up and she can just imagine the disapproving look on her mom's face (not to mention Regina's) when they realise Henry is home alone but he's fine, well was fine until he went and got his psychic feels on.

David's just asked the same question twice and slurs a little on the goodbye, he's not drunk just extremely tired, her mom has a bad head cold and her brother has colic, which all means no sleep for her dad and no help for her which is just great, just what she needs when's she about to go "save Regina", probably from herself who won't want saving anyway and has been holed up in her house for the last three days, after losing the sham election, refusing to let anyone in and doing god knows what.

She could be walking into anything, a spell gone wrong or worse, who knows what Regina's capable of right now. The woman's been on edge since well, since Emma brought back Robin's zombie wife and Regina lost her boyfriend, then her job and Emma really really hopes not her reason.

Emma checks her gun is still tucked into her waistband and sprints forward, lungs burning, they really need to get another car and she needs a partner, back-up so when she sees Will lurking in the shadows looking shifty but strong, she makes a snap judgement.

"You, with me now"

He's frowning and asking why but is running alongside her so he's obviously coming "because I need backup, maybe and you are here" a giant pain in the ass, has caused her nothing but trouble the last few days but that aside he's quick on his feet, not stupid and not and she hopes she not wrong on this one, a bad person.

"Where's your pirate?" He asks "wouldn't want to get in the way" the black eye Killian gave him has purpled nicely.

"Good question" she growls.

Where was Killian? He promised he would explain everything when he got back and she just needed to trust him for a little while and she does, mostly, but trust doesn't come easy to her, especially when its a dread pirate doing the asking and if he plans on telling her when he got back surely he could have told her before he left.

She shoves the thoughts aside, they are pounding the pavements of Mifflin Street now and she needs to give Will a quick heads up.

"Stay here unless I call for you, if I don't come out in ten minutes, call David" she's typing the number on his phone that she's fished out of his pocket and ignoring his disgruntled hey.

"then come and find me"

Will nods his agreement and suggests that this charitable act should be taken into account, you know officially.

Emma grumbles a reply, now is not the time to be discussing his petty crimes, this is Regina and magic and not something to be taken lightly.

Then he says something which makes him look and sound at least a hundred years older than he is and has Emma's jaw dropping.

"Emma, Regina is not my first witch, she's not her mother nor is she a insane sorcerer, or a mythical creature that feeds on fear, all of which I have faced before, just open the damn door".

The damn door is locked up tight but no magical barrier which actually has Emma more concerned. The windows are locked, curtains drawn tight no chinks of light shining through but there's a light on in the bedroom, showing through the thinner curtains there.

Neither she or Will can pick the lock on the front door, its deadlocked and their knocks go unanswered so the choice is break a window or break the door down.

Emma chooses the window and Will follows, she doesn't stop him. The house is dark and quiet. Emma flips the lights and shouts for Regina, no answer. A swift look side to side as they make their way to the staircase from the front room confirms the house is clean and tidy, meticulously so. Emma wonders if its cleaned by hand or magic, maybe Regina has spent the past three days scrubbing the floors.

"Regina"

No answer.

Then its two stairs at a time with Will right behind her, an uneasy feeling in her gut, hand pushing open the door to the master bedroom and a shocked gasp as her eyes fall on Regina bleeding out on the bed.

"Shit"

Will's on the phone immediately calling for an ambulance, while rifling through drawers and chucking pale blue silk pyjama bottoms at her, which she kind of wishes Regina was wearing right now but she's not, she's wearing a very short black silk chemise that's not covering much.

The black fabric is masking the amount of blood and staining the blue satin of the pyjamas as she presses the flimsy material to Regina's side, trying to stop the flow. She really needs something more absorbent, the silk is useless, slipping and sliding in the blood. Will's on the same page as he pushes the silk away and replaces it with cotton towels.

Emma's trying to do the math, ten minutes, give or take since Henry called her, assuming Henry felt the exact moment Regina was wounded, that's ten minutes or so of bleeding which isn't good. Regina's flutter eyes open which is good and has Emma puffing out relief, if she's awake she can do magic, they can do it together, healing magic but Regina is shaking her head.

"Gone"

"Your magic's gone? Because of this?" It looked like a regular (if there is such a thing) knife wound but maybe its not, not if Regina has been left bleeding and bleeding, without magic.

"No, before" and she's trying to sit up, eyes frantic.

Emma pushes her back down "stay down" its a little rough, rougher than she meant but this, Regina on the bed, the blood, its so human, its not magic or dragons or spinning black diamonds but its messy, brutal and it has Emma scared.

"Who did this?"

Who did this? now after all this time, now when the curse is Snow's and not the Evil Queen's, when they can come and go as they please, when Regina has no politically or magical power "who?" she urges.

Regina's still struggling, still fighting to see round Emma, she's gripping Emma's forearm, knuckles white, its a deep breath in and out then one word before she's unconscious again.

"Robin"

TO BE CONTINUED 


	14. The Victim part 2

The Victim Part Two

Will has run off and left her, left them. He took a long look at Regina's face as she sputtered out Robin's name and ran out the bedroom door, his parting words "heal her sheriff".

She knows she gonna have to try at least but she's never done this before. Magic is emotion, its feelings and want and directing that want with the right emotion. Emma doesn't want Regina to die but she's struggling to find that white heat inside that she found so easily when Zelena threaten Henry.

Thinking of Henry right now just brings guilt and pain, thinking of Regina these past few days brings guilt, a cold hard lump of it in her chest that only intensifies as warm sticky blood trickles through her fingers and Robin, really? Robin did this? what the hell? Is this payback for his wife's execution that never was? Whatever it is, he's done a number on Regina before he even stuck the knife in her side.

Time is running out, its literally now or never, nothing brings back the dead, except time travel it will seem. Emma thinks heal heal heal heal, chants and chants, squeezes her eyes shut so tightly, that her eyelids cramp and twitch like crazy, heal, heal, heal she pants out, the words squeezing through her clenched teeth, heal, heal and finally the white glow burns through her, its strangled and unfocused but its there and its working.

Regina's arching and shuddering under the stream of white, her body jerking into the air and slamming back down, Emma thinks it must be painful and she doesn't want it to be but if its pain or death, she will keep inflicting the pain. Regina's eyes are flickering open, her mouth forms a silent scream, Emma's magic sputters out, leaving her exhausted, breathless and a little scared.

Regina is unmoving on the floor but her chest heaves as she draws ragged breaths, her eyes are open, open and staring at Emma. Emma cannot work out the expression on her face, a mixture of dread and relief perhaps. Her body is still, has stopped that awful writhing, her mouth now closed, no more silent screaming.

Regina's fingers twitch as Emma brings her own shaking hands to Regina's side, she has to see the wound, gently gathers the bloodied towels and in one movement, lifts the hem of Regina's slip pulling it up her side, so she can see the wound while covering the bits she doesn't need to see with the ruined towels.

The wound is closed, a tight shiny line of puckered skin, strangely white above the stain of blood that covers Regina's torso. Emma huffs out a laugh, well look at that, she did it, she saved a life.

"Proud of yourself Miss Swan?"

The words are not without edge but a small smile plays on Regina's lips.

"Thank you Emma" she whispers.

Emma nods "are you okay? I didn't really know what I was doing" Emma trails off, leans over instead to help Regina sit up.

"Bit rough" she agrees swallowing a moan as she curls her body up "but I've had worst"

Emma says nothing, what is there to say? its a douse of cold water to her pride, its the words that runs through her mind every time she thinks of or uses magic, the price of it.

Regina has no such qualms with one swipe of her hand, she's full dressed, the bloody slip, the towels gone, the carpet clean, as if nothing had ever happened.

"Hey, we need that, its evidence" Emma grumbles.

"There will be no need" comes the reply.

Emma bites back a groan, so it will be good old fashioned vigilante justice then, "Regina, wait" she calls out to Regina's disappearing form, "what happened? Is your magic back? Why did Robin do this?"

Regina stops so abruptly, that Emma slams into her back, Regina whips round, she's so close Emma can see every pore on her face "what?" Regina bites out.

"You think? No, no" she trails off "we have to find him, I thought that's where you sent that street rat"

"Will?" He's hardly a street rat, she's known a few, he doesn't really qualify. Regina is clutching at her wrist, dark eyes pooling with tears "Emma please, did you see him on the way in?" Regina has let go of her wrist and is spinning away, running down the stairs.

Emma has a moment of clarity, the black silk slip, the bedroom at just gone 8pm. Emma could slap herself for her dim wits, she's been one step behind all day.

Emma catches Regina's words as she rushes to her side at the bottom of the stairs, the front door is now wide open and both woman make for it "I don't even have anything of his" its a frustrated and teary sob from the former evil queen.

Emma knows she means for a locator spell, obviously she has nothing either but she does have Will's number in her phone, she digging it out of her pocket as they cross the threshold of the door, hoping that Will had at least been on the ball interpreting Regina's words correctly.

They don't need a locator spell or Emma's phone, one of the two ambulances that the people of Storybrooke pay their taxes for is visible behind the hedges that border the mayoral manor.

A figure being loaded onto the one gurney and Regina is gone from Emma's side, running very fast, impressively so in such high heels, she's beside the gurney almost immediately and Emma knows the crewman who is attempting to hold Regina back is going to pay and sure enough he is stumbling back.

Emma jogs down the path, Robin has a split lip, bruises and by the looks of it, some damage to his left arm, she can tell that from the sling he is wearing. Regina is practically pulling him from the gurney, Emma can hear her desperately trying to hold back her sobs as she buries her head into Robin's neck.

Robin looks equally as emotional, Emma can hear him murmuring his relief to Regina while rubbing circles into her back with his good arm, she catches her name at least twice, she's trying not to listen but she can hear Robin's promises that he's fine, he's more concerned with her he says, he's telling her Will promised Emma was healing her, Regina is nodding yes, the couple fall silent, lean into one another, foreheads pressed together, just being.

Time slows down for them in that moment and Emma feels herself pulled into the spell, true love she thinks, true love that her parents share, true love that radiates from these two and she can't help but smile. -"Why?"

She's asking for what feels like the eighty time but the man refuses to speak, so far the only words he has spoken had her momentarily regret her insistence that he be arrested and processed in accordance with the law, the promise she elicited from Regina and a very angry Robin that they would not interfere, i.e. murder him, plays on her mind.

Regina's magic is back now, it took a couple of days to come back fully, she had used Emma's that night, the little that lingered in her veins from Emma's healing. Hers had not returned until Robin had moved his stuff into her house. Emma understood from what Regina hadn't said rather than what she had, that her magic had gotten stuck, not enough light or enough dark to manifest while Regina waited for Robin alone in her big empty house.

As usual she gets more information from Henry than she does the man in the cell or from Regina, who refuses to say more than question his mental state and suggest he be put out of his misery permanently, she says it with a soft sigh and a faraway look, Emma thinks its not revenge but compassion on her face, Regina shakes her head, I can't break his spell, he did that to himself she says.

Archie says the same but with far more words and far more compassion. Emma makes her decision, she's torn as she always is when it comes to Regina, she's not responsible for his obsession, his 'love' which now takes the form of full blown insanity and has turned dark and ugly but she took advantage of it.

"An object Miss Swan" Regina says when Emma repeats the story she has learned from Henry and questions her "that its all, an object just like your grandfather, he should think himself lucky"

Archie says the switch between absolutely devotion and murderous hate probably occurred when Robin arrived. Emma thinks she could have worked that out for herself but signs the paperwork anyway, releases him to joint care of Dr Whale and Dr Hopper and so Sidney Glass returns to his 'room' in the hospital, the same room that her mother pardoned him from during her brief time as mayor.

Emma wonders if there will ever be a time when the Charming's stop accidentally messing up Regina's life or if one day they will all reach a point of no return, just like Sidney. 


	15. In Dreams 1 of 3

In dreams

It matches his dream so exactly that he forgets to breathe, luckily breathing is instinctually so he starts again without really noticing, doesn't notice his hands as they rise to his face, fist into balls and rub his eyes, a near perfect impression of his young son, rubbing his eyes to keep sleep at bay, Robin rubs his eyes to check if he is awake.

Regina lies asleep, wrapped in white fur, in front of a roaring fire and he's pretty sure that she's naked under the furs, there's a fair amount of bare shoulder on show, equal if not more bare legs and thigh, all creamy naked skin, flushed with the heat from the fire.

Of course she could be wearing a corset and short breeches but theres no way of knowing, not without looking and as much as the animal in him wants to look, the man, the husband, the father would never, not like this.

This is not what he expected when he knocked upon her chamber door, sent to fetch her for a emergency meeting, an emergency that he hoped gave him the right to pick the lock on her door after pounding upon it for some time, after pressing his ears to it and hearing no sound from within, no irritable go away.

He hesitates, the emergency that had him running through the castle to reach her, demands he wake her but sleep is a rarity for her, he hates to do so. She looks so relaxed, tucked up in the furs, hair up but messy, ends trailing and damp. He thinks she must have bathed then laid down in front of the fire and fallen asleep.

He's seen her sleep before, twice in fact, once, flat on her back, one hand wrapped around her waist, the other by her side, palm up, fingers splayed ready to form a fireball, the other time, curled in a tight ball, asleep on a chair in the corner of the library.

Why his brain chooses to retain images of the sleeping queen he does not know but he has quite a collection of Regina images now. Images he does not deliberately collect but images that gather, stay with him and unfurl at night to taunt him, images that leave him wanting and acting on that want in his dreamland, leaving him unable to look the real version in the eye come morning.

The latest dream, Regina and white fur and fire plays vividly through his mind now. Regina, white fur, fire, awake and naked. Regina, white fur, fire, awake and both of them naked, plays and plays until he has to turn away.

Regina mumbles something in her sleep, an unintelligible word, a nothing, she shifts in the fur and sighs, pulls the fur close to her, the sight of her snuggling has the yearning he feels so tightly shift from his pants to his heart, so its with tenderness that he places a gentle hand on her shoulder and wakes her.

Perhaps she feels it too, that gentle touch because she wakes slowly and blinks heavily, the fire a tiring heat has her in his grasp, not keen to let her go. His name falls from her lips, his true name not thief, not outlaw but Robin, only Robin no uplift to the word, no questioning edge just Robin, has him smiling, has him running his hand down her arm, has pushed away all reason for his presence, has him taking risks, has him confuse dream Regina with real Regina, has him lean forward and capture her lips with his.

In his dreams she responds, flashes him a smile, a teasing smirk, draws him down to her. In his dreams its all passion and heat and her sleek desire. In his dreams, its friction, sighs and moans, hot and heady, unrelenting.

In reality, its short and painful for him as she sweeps him across the room, pain as his shoulder hits the wall and pain as he watches her face, uncomprehending, confused as she runs her fingers over her lips, bewildered by the softness of the kiss he placed there.


	16. In his head (in dreams 2 of 3)

In His Head: Sequel to In Dreams. 2 of 3

Robin's shoulder still aches, its been five days since Regina slammed him against the castle wall, his punishment for waking her with a kiss. He knows he deserved it, what was he thinking? What must she have thought? Hot guilt blows through him, a nasty shiver.

He cusses himself for the hundredth time, he's not that kind of man, he hopes she knows it but what type of man she has known before he dreads to think, royalty lead privileged lives but beautiful woman are always prey to some. Robin has seen enough of life to know the walls of a castle can offer the same pretence at protection as the walls of a hovel.

Its not the same as it was, hasn't been the same since the first time they met, when she looked at him with interest, when she actually spoke to him. He realises now, she didn't have the strength to build her walls that night. Not until her sister arrived and the walls grew and grew but its too late for him, he's seen behind and is hungry for more. She tried to buy his silence with gold tipped arrows, perhaps that's what kind of man she thinks he is, one that can be bought, he's not.

There have been a few moments between them, a quick glimpse she allows him when she forgets she is also Regina and not just the Queen and the mask slips. One precious moment when she laughed with him, shocking even herself with the bright sound before biting out a sharp retort, laughter gone as quickly as it came.

He has made himself invaluable to the Prince and Princess, not deliberately but he has always had a nose for trouble, always seems to find himself in the thick of it, he and his men may have missed the first curse but they awoke smack bang in the middle of the mess left behind so the choice to throw in their lot with the returned monarchs had been a easy one.

That was the last choice he made, since then his nose has been in charge, leading him to her, where he goes to be alone, to take a moment to himself, he finds her already there. A moment taken to escape the crowded ballroom, when thoughts of his nobility, the life he left behind, rear dark and ugly in his head, he finds her standing alone in the place he had chosen for himself.

The first dream he had of her came later that very night. Her moonlit silhouette ram rod straight on the balcony, her dark eyes brimming with unshed tears, burnt into his mind, as she turned to face the intruder, him. Soft tendrils of hair floating in the evening breeze, her hands white digging into the crumbling mortar, head held high daring him to pity her. So he didn't, just nodded softly and retreated, only to dream of her later, dream that he didn't leave, that he stayed and pulled her close. A dream that lingered all day, leaving his arms aching with phantom weight.

He dreams of other quiet times when he has stumbled on the woman behind the mask, soft dreams, tiny things at first, interwoven with nonsense, until the dreams take shape and form patterns. The more he sees her, the more they bait each other, he doesn't mean to but she draws him in, for every eye roll, every smirk and snark, every curl of her lip until his dreams are of her and her alone. Her lips against his, her body beneath his, his bed, hers, the castle wall, the lake, the nest of white furs and then after his mistake, only the dream of white furs remains, when he wakes now its to familiar frustration and burning guilt.

She is always on his mind, invades his waking hours, her face, her voice, that one burst of laughter haunting him. He looks for her in every room he enters, sees her there when she is not, talks to her in his head, takes back the kiss, apologises, a better apology than the stuttered attempt at humour he managed before, some rot about sleeping curses, which left them both uncomfortable and her seething.

In his head, she accepts his apology and allows him to spend time. In his head, they talk of many things, he is witty and clever, she smiles and indulges him. Her taunts are teasing and playful. In his head, she shows him her truths, beyond what he glimpses in reality, where he cannot reach her no matter how he tries.

He knows its not real, he knows they will never speak of such things, he will never meet her in the garden at midnight and share soft kisses under her apple tree, he will never run his fingers through her dark soft tresses or caress her face or pull her close to him, mould his body into hers and call her his.

Such a silly game to play, he is a fool, just a lonely fool who misses his wife, misses the weight of someone else's world entangled with his. Regina's world sits heavy on her shoulders, it pains him to watch but she is as determined in her sorrow, as she is bruising in her strength so he can only dream of her, talk to her in his head and hope maybe one day, he can share his dreams with her.  



	17. In his heart (In Dreams 3 of 3)

In His Heart

In dreams 3/3

It feels like deja vu when he awakes from dreams of her, he feels like he has dreamt them before. In the in-between seconds of sleep and wake he is certain but certainty slips away with the daylight and the demands of his young son.

When he sees her, he knows her immediately, who else could catch a arrow mid flight, sharp reflexes and even sharper tongue. Who else would come alone to an abandoned farmhouse, a possible trap in high heels but the former Queen, formidable witch.

Its instant the attraction, she's exactly his type, dark hair, dark eyes, full lips, lovely curvy ass, nothing better than a shapely bum in his opinion, she's confident bordering on arrogant, yet its the look of confusion on her face when she asks if they've met before that lingers in his mind. She is in his dreams that night, just glimpses interwoven with the gibberish his sleeping mind spills out.

She's stunning in the blue dress, low cut for a funeral but he's not complaining. She's defiant in the face of adversary, he's not surprised but does not miss the flicker of hurt in her eyes in the brightly lit room, nor can he ignore the full force of it in the still of the forest when he picks her pocket.

He certainly gets more than he bargained for when she gives him her heart. Everything between them moves so fast yet still feels agonisingly slow as he waits for her to return. To collect her heart, pulsing gently in the dark, hidden behind stone. An apt hiding place he thinks for this stubborn woman.

He dreams that night, dreams of his childhood, dreams of rivers, hot sun, green grass and larking around. A dream so vivid, he can feel the cool water of the river on his heated skin or at least the remembrance of it.

This day, one of many carefree days, when his mother was alive and the sun always shone, when everything was right and just and wonderful. Robin smiles in his sleep as he recalls that day spent swimming, splashing and horsing about with his brothers in the river.

The dream shifts, the room is cool with the shutters drawn keeping the hot sun at bay. He shivers slightly his shirt still wet from the river. He squirms on the stool, his breeches itch at his legs and buttocks. Wet sand clumped in the loose material, grains of sand and grit, no hindrance before in the flowing water, when the scooping of sand in his own hands to shove into his brothers breeches as retaliation provided a fun distraction but uncomfortable now sat on a hard wooden stool. The fun of the river a fading memory as a bloodied nose and a soon to be blackened eye demand his attention.

"You shouldn't have teased her Robin that wasn't very nice" his mother scolds.

"She started it" he whinges and she had, silly stuck up girl with her stupid fancy dress and ribbons in long black hair, looking at them with distain.

"I raised you better that this, Robin of Locksley" his mother chides him, tone serious.

Robin scoffs at her and receives a slap across his bare leg in reply. His mother clutches his face in her hands, presses the cloth to his nose none too gently. He is annoyed with her, she is taking her side, girls always sticking together he thinks kicking his heels against the floor, not caring if he accidentally catches his mothers calves which he does once but not again as his mother grasps his shoulders "stop sulking" she commands "listen to me Robin, are you listening?"

He nods a sullen yes.

"what you did was cruel, do you understand why?"

"No" he shouts out "everyone was laughing at her, not just me and she was being all la dee dah, in her posh dress, she shouldn't have come to the river if she didn't want to play"

"Did she say she wanted to play?" His mother asks him, head tilted to the side, blue eyes calming meeting his defiant ones.

"She said" he mumbles, sighs as guilt he doesn't want runs through him.

"Yes" his mother pushes, she's going to make him say it.

"she said she wasn't allowed to play, wasn't allowed to get her dress dirty, which is stupid cuz she shouldn't have been wearing a dress, its just silly, who wears a dress to the river" he demands of his mother.

Its her turn to sigh now "Robin, her mother and father are visiting the king, you know that. She is a princess, princesses wear dresses, she just wanted to watch you and you brothers play, you should have allowed her that, been welcoming. You don't think she wanted to wear a dress to the river?"

"Its stupid, its too hot for stupid dresses" he refuses to give up his defence.

"Yes" his mothers agrees "but Princesses wear dresses".

Robin frowns his mothers obsession with princesses wearing dresses its getting tiresome, he knows she's trying to get him to understand something, giving him information and letting him come to the answer, as is her way. He knows deep inside what his mother is saying but he refuses to give in, not when his nose hurts and his eye stings "princesses shouldn't throw punches" he grumbles.

"You deserved it Robin, I'm quite ashamed of you, you will apologise to her and you will receive no supper and if you ever ever act like that again to anyone, be they princess, equal, stranger or friend, I will tan your hind so hard you won't sit straight for a week, do you understand?"

Robin wakes, a rueful smile at the memory and an ache in his heart for his mother.

dark haired girl with ribbons in her hair and mud on her dress swinging her fist at him as clear as day in his mind. Old guilt pushes at him as he remembers the tears and what he now knows to be fear on her face as she pushes off him, leaving him sprawled on the dirt clutching at his bloodied nose. He never did apologise to her, he had gone to the castle as his mother requested but the visitors from another forest had already left.

Robin shakes his head and laughs at the memory, did that princess know the impression she'd had made on him, that he would from that moment on, be forever drawn to a certain type of woman, one with dark hair, dark eyes, full of strength and sass. Her name escapes him as it always has, something unusual, something on the tip of his tongue, he will ask Little John tomorrow, he's always good with names and certainly wont have forgotten the first time Robin got punched by a girl.

The morning brings chaos and heartache and Robin quite forgets to ask Little John the name of the visiting princess so long ago. Instead, he barks orders to his men to patrol the woods, curses himself that he not given that order before, hugs Roland tight and thinks of his failure. It bothers him more than it should, its a personal failure, he let her down he thinks. He knows, if faced again with such a decision he would make the same choice, always Roland, always his boy and she understands he knows. Her words bother him, she wonders why she is not dead, says it with such calmness, what's worst than murder he asks but he knows and it bothers him that she does too.

The fire burns strong but he adds more wood, prods and pokes at it, restless. He thinks of her, she is like the fire he thinks, she burns so hot and fierce in the dark. Fire, destructive and necessary. Fire which can destroy everything in its path, the good and the rotten, burns a path so that the new can push through. Fire which brings warmth and light to the world, eternal, deadly and beautiful. She burnt the world with her anger and created a new one, destroyer and creator both.

She is like fire he thinks again as she crushes her lips to his, all consuming but she is gone too soon, pulling away from him, uncertainty in her eyes.

A riot of images runs through his head, dreams mixed with real moments, everything feels so real, so bright and so very right as he reaches for her, breath puffing in the cold, pulls her to him, kisses her, hands threading through her hair, kisses and kisses her, kisses her uncertainty away, he is certain, will be for both of them.

"Use my heart for both of us" he says and kisses her pain away. The smile on her face is a small reward but she is leaving him again. He smiles his goodbye at her, chides himself for the disappointment he feels that she has to go. He wants more of her but knows she cant give it, not when her heart is lost, her son has forgotten her and the whole town needs her.

When the curse breaks, she is the first thought in his head and he finds himself smirking. Good god what a pain in the ass she had been, no wonder she tormented his dreams both here and in the missing year. His amusement turns to worry as he remembers the depth of her pain, perhaps he pushed her too far? Now she remembers will she begrudge him for it?

Despite his mothers warning not to push princesses, he had pushed, he ignores the small voice that whines she deserved it. She'd asked him not to get in her way but he had, sometimes on purpose when she decided to take on some foolish task, sometimes by accident when he stumbled upon her unintentionally but he could not hand on heart say that he had abided by her request to leave her alone.

When he gets to the dock, she tells him he is so much more likeable here, his heart returns to its regular beat and he pulls her as close as decency allows in her son's presence.

He asks her later when Henry gives them brief respite from his constant questions concerning Robin's status of outlaw. Did you ever punch a boy for throwing mud at you? Regina looks at him shocked then laughs "that was you?" He laughs "yes milady" and kisses her quickly before Henry returns to her side.

He finds himself echoing her words with equal shock on his face "it was me?" She nods and he suggests its all about timing, things work out when there supposed to he assures her and kisses her. So sure is he, this is their time and its right, its meant to be, his dreams of her, the way she got stuck in his head, it all makes sense. He doesn't need a prophesy to reassure him but she did and he's grateful for it.

Robin takes a moment to appreciate the setting, its not quite white fur but it is a white rug in front of a fire. He wonders if she remembers, breaks from skimming his hands across soft bare skin, props himself on elbows, hovering over her, wants to see her face as he asks, to reassure. She nods "so bold" she mummers as she nudges him back down to her. "So irresistible" he hums against her, presses kisses to heated skin. "Not resisting" she replies, wraps her leg around him, breathes his name into his chest, rocks against him.

Its mere hours later but it feels like a life time. He sits and pokes at another roaring fire. The wood he throws on is wet, it pops and hisses, the smoke burns his eyes and hurts, it feels right, should hurt. Hurt like the tears that fell from Marian eyes as she demanded the truth. It stings, should sting him, like the unshed tears he saw in Regina eyes as she turned away from the angry words, walked away, alone.

He sits here in the woods, wife returned to him, all his dreams made reality yet he knows when he sleeps tonight, when he dreams, he will dream of Regina, for she is forever in his dreams, in his head, in his heart.


	18. Those Little Words

Those little words

Outlaw QueenPresent Day - Robin's POV

She says it first,

"Do you trust me Regina?" He asks gently as he prepares to lift her bodily, to hoist her unsteady form, punch drunk on dust and spoiled magic, up and out of the broken lift shaft, where Emma and David are waiting to take her to the blue fairy to undo the effects of the spell which has left her magic damaged and Regina in mortal danger.

What should have been a simple trip under the library to retrieve a shard of glass from Snow's coffin that wasn't, a shard of glass 'made with love, purpose built for everlasting care and protection, fated to reflect truth, a byproduct of true loves kiss', the Blue Fairy's very words that have somehow become stuck in his head, is needed now as talisman against the latest threat that engulfs the town and its people, a simple thing to retrieve, a quick job by rights has turned quite fraught.

She didn't want him to accompany her that much was clear but he insisted, and a deliberately worded promise to stay out of her way, rewarded him with a genuine smile before stinging him when her smile faltered and soured on her lips, the shine in eyes blanked as she turned and walked ahead.

She struggles around him, flits between warm and caring, flirty and feisty to distance and professional. Its a struggle he shares, finds himself halfway through a funny thing that Roland has said when he realises the M word is on the tip of his tongue and the realisation that perhaps the story is not as enjoyable to her as it is to him, hits him but she nods and asks questions every time and when his hands act by own their accord, when they reach for the small of her back or start towards her face to push back locks that have fallen and he finds him standing awkwardly trying to hide the movement and when she gives him that look that lies somewhere between a yes and a no, he struggles most of all.

Yet he determines to accompany her despite or perhaps in-spite of the pirate's jests that such an undertaking will result in his demise. The town is not safe he reasons for anyone to be venturing out alone so they make awkward small talk in lift on the way down and stick to mission facts when clamouring through the dark cavern towards the glass coffin. She motions for silence when a cloud of dust rises from the ground beneath them, one hand on his chest stilling him, the other curled palm up ready for action. A beat or two passes and the dust settles, he takes the opportunity to whisper in her ear, to ask if they are alone. She nods and says they should be.

He feels it too, that feeling of being watched, feels unease grow in his belly. She passes magic over the glass, Robin watches the magic shimmer white over the pane, beautiful and captivating, chances a look at her face, catches the small soft smile there as the magic flows easy and pure from her, he forgets to be wary so when the dust and debris on the ground starts to rise again in earnest, swirling around them he is not prepared.

Regina smashes her fist through the glass, grabs at the largest shard, her movements quick and fluid before she is pushing at his back, urging him forward while she spins on her heels, walking backwards, her back to his, white light pulsing from her hands, a barrier between them and the dust cloud.

He tries to guide her way as much as possible, his body turned half forward, half back as he clutches at her waist to steady her steps on the uneven ground. He is looking back at her the moment it happens, the dust breaks through the shield a little, sharp stones attack her momentary before she recovers and the shield once again pushes back but the magic is no longer pure white, its white mixed with purple and the shard she holds in place with a thumb against one upheld palm glows and Regina cries out in pain.

The shield falters and flickers out but whatever magic sustains the dust cloud has no power in the tunnel. Regina is stumbling against his back, breath harsh and quick. He lowers her gently to the ground, urges her to catch her breath. She is still holding the shard and when she drops it to the floor, he sees a mark burnt into her palm.

"Regina" he breathes

She shakes him off "damn it"

"What happened?"

"Mixed streams" she replies, at his bemused expression she explains "three different types of magic converged at the same time, its unstable"

"And painful" he asks? runs a gentle touch across the burn.

"Yes" she agrees, head falling back heavily against the stone.

When she stands its with difficultly, she shakes off his help, brushes his hand from her elbow but the movement leaves her teetering on her heels. Robin frowns "more than a burn?"

"Hmmmm maybe" her reply is slow, her eyes are unfocused.

She's practically unconscious by the time they reach the lift. Robin has half carried her there, her head lolling on his shoulder, twice he has had to stop and puff her hair out of his mouth due to the awkward position she insists on maintaining and now they have a new problem. The lift runs on magic but Regina's is not playing ball, when she does manage a flash of power, its all light and no action. He ducks as magic shoots over his head, far too close for comfort.

"Stop", he urges, its clearly not working and frankly she's a little manic as she laughs at the misbehaving streaks then stops suddenly, stares at her hands numbly, she looks up at him horror on her face

"Robin I cant" before her legs give way again.

Robin catches her in time, pulls her into him, rests her against him, she is shaking, its not panic he knows but suspects another side effect of the haywire magic.

"How long until this passes?" He asks because obviously this will pass, he dare not think otherwise.

"It wont, it needs to be defused" she tells him wearily.

Panic shoots through him, sharp in his chest "and how do we do that milady?" he asks softly, face pressed into the side of her head, lips moving through her hair.

"We dont" she barks a laugh "I need help, Gold or Blue"

"How long?"

"Not long, one hour maybe at most, its quite potent my magic and the stronger the magic?."

"What will happen?" He doesn't want to know but has to.

"Its corrupt, so it will corrupt, body and mind".

He can see the signs already, the way she trembles, the way her hand twitches, her struggle to form her words, she is concentrating so hard to remain present. There is so much he wants to say to her but there is no time and he cannot burden her with his regrets not when she needs him to remain strong, keep her rooted in the here and now.

They need help, the lift can be operated from above she has already told him this, he pulls her cell from her pocket, swipes it on, keys in the numbers which the thief in him has unconsciously remembered. She catches on and takes the phone from him, her fingers fumbling as she presses at the screen, the phone beeps at them, a broken series of high pitched shrieks.

"No signal, have to go higher" she tells him, weak fingers pressing at his wrist.

"Regina" gently he moves her out of his arms, leans her once again against the cold stone "I will get us out of here, I promise, you fight this, I know you can" he wants to say more, tell her the faith he has in her, how he knows she is a fighter and will fight and fight and he loves her for it, he wants to tell her I love you but it is a cruelty to say it again and then leave when this is over and she is safe but alone so he says no more but presses his lips to her forehead "hold on milady" he tells her.

He has to climb halfway up the shaft before the blasted phone works but Emma answers immediately, he can hear her breaking into a run as he hangs up and shimmies back down and into the tunnel, gathers Regina into his arms and carries her into the lift, praying for Emma to hurry.

The lift makes it almost all of the way to the top when it stops, mechanism jammed and no amount of pushing or pulling from David or Emma will bring into life once more.

David hangs his head and shoulders over the opening "Lift her up Robin" he suggests.

Regina is awake and coherent, a brief respite, fresh air from the surface has roused her, nonetheless, Robin holds her tightly in his arms,

"Do you trust me Regina?" He asks gently as he prepares to lift her.

She looks at him blankly,

"Of course, I don't trust you, you broke my heart" she replies calmly.

Robin staggers back under the weight of her words, stares at her. Above him David is urging him to lift her up to him, Regina is unfocused once more, looks past Robin, the trembling has returned, he thinks she may faint soon "I'm sorry" he whispers he as hauls her up to David, up and away from him.

He is the next to say it "you broke my heart" says it in anger, screams it at her and its not her fault, she didn't mean to leave, her intention was only to help but she left and broke his heart and now she is back and its broken again.

He's beaming as he leaves the diner with coffee and breakfast rolls, his pockets full with more than his fair share of ketchup sachets but a cheeky wink at Ruby had resulted in a laugh and wave of her hand so he knows his forgiven.

The smile that graces his face is partially due to the delicious smells wafting from the greasy bag he clutches but mostly due to an unexpected encounter with a fully recovered Regina not five minutes ago.

David had stopped by the camp last night to ask him to join them to reassess the latest plan to defeat the Snow Queen, (who as it turns out is not the young Queen from another realm who struggles to keep her emotions and powers in check but instead, a enemy hidden in their midst masquerading as the owner of the ice cream parlour, leaving devastation in the wake of her newly restored powers and a very disappointed Roland when he discovered the double chocolate sundaes he so loved were no longer available).

David had pulling him to one side to let him know that Regina was recovering well and that the fairy did not expected any lasting effects, news which immediately soothed the headache he couldn't shake off despite the numerous cups of herb tea he had consumed since returning to his camp dejected and somewhat rejected, after being practically dismissed by the Charming's but it appears no grudge is being held against him and David seems genuine in his thanks.

"You are in a good mood this morning Robin"

Marian laughs at him as he enthusiastically smothers his roll with far too much of the red tomato based sauce.

He nods "yep, wait till you try this" waving his roll under her nose "you will be too".

"What's in it that has you so delighted?" she laughs.

"Well, all the food groups, bacon, egg, potato in breadcrumbs called a hash brown plus extra bacon" he informs her before wrapping his mouth around the connotation and taking a huge bite.

Marian is still talking, not eating, she's pulling apart her roll, scrapping the butter from the insides and delicately wiping it on to a paper napkin "Thats not all the food groups" she frowns "plus its got meat in it, extra meat"

Robin pauses in his chewing, swallows a bit too much food. Damn it, he has completely forgotten that Marian prefers not to eat meat, she would he now remembers, if absolutely necessary and many times, living rough in the forest she had no choice but where possible she avoided it.

"Im sorry" he mumbles wondering what other details he has forgotten.

"No matter" she says as she picks the bacon from her roll and drops it into his.

He leaves Marian and Roland in the camp just before midday, thinks with a small smile that Regina will be at the meeting. Its a habit he's noticing, one that he is actively indulging, to think of Regina when he is alone.

The time he spends with Marian and Roland is precious to him and when he is there with them, they have his full attention but when he leaves, to venture into the town or further into the woods, he thinks of Regina. Sometimes when he wakes in the middle of the night disorientated as to his whereabouts (a side effect from the curse they all suffer from time to time) his confused mind wonders if there are not two Robin's.

Regina had been at the diner, she had smiled at him and thanked him for his help as she sat with her son, the boy was was decidedly less than smiley but Robin can understand that, the world is black and white to a child even one entering manhood.

Robin wonders what memories Regina has of yesterday, she was pretty out of it. Her words, her truth she spoken out loud, a truth he had known but a truth she would have thought a weakness and kept hidden had slipped unbound. The truth had shaken him but in all honesty, he's relieved she said it, he can admit to himself that the ever present knot in his belly is guilt, hot heavy guilt, guilt he deserves and had he doubted that she felt for him as he felt for her, he doesn't doubt it any longer.

Its terrible and awful but also its something, something other than the nothingness that has dragged him down in the past, left him cruel and heartless, the same nothingness that he knows Regina has fought and fights still, so while they both may be hurting (and he wishes with his whole soul that she wasn't and cant, will never, forgive himself for being the cause) the smile on her face when she thanked him for his help fills him with such joy that he cant think of anything else.

Marian's not happy when he returns later than planned from a meeting which had dissolved into a fight when the Snow Queen made an unexpected appearance. Word has already reached her that yet again Robin has put his life in danger, protecting the Queen. It's a topic they have avoided since Robin told her of their relationship and he had been honest, told her he cared deeply for Regina and that while their relationship was fairly new as a couple, they had spent much time together back in their realm and he had cared for her then even though she had not reciprocated.

She is sulking, something else he has forgotten during her absence, forgotten how annoying he found it, the silence and the sighs, he'd rather words, words he can deal with, words give him something to work with but Marian stays quiet, swallowing her anger, causing his to rise. Its the mother of all fights, its old wounds and new sorrow. The old Robin would have held back but the new Robin has no such qualms, the new Robin holds too much pain in his heart, has too sharp a tongue,

"You broke my heart" says it in anger, screams it at her.

Marian staggers back under the weight of his words, stares at him.

"I'm sorry" she whispers she as hauls herself up and away from him.

She says it back to him the next morning, absent all through the night, while he laid awake staring at the canvas roof wondering how it came to this.

There are fresh tears in her red rimmed eyes, when she comes to him at break of dawn, confused and angry still,

"You broke my heart" she tells him sadly.

"And every day you pretend to mean the things you say, every time you pretend to be happy here, that this is enough that I am enough, it breaks at a little more".

"When did this happen?" she demands to know, "when did the honourable man I loved so much become such a liar?"

"Im sorry" he whispers as she walks away from him.

It's taken four days not even a week for his promise to fail, for everything to fall apart. She's right, he is a liar, he has lied to himself that this is the right thing to do, to abide by a code, a code he put his faith in but ultimately a code that broke all their hearts.


	19. The Fighter

The Fighter

Missing Year - EF Set immediately after the trip to the Dark One's castle where Rumple Bumple is imprisoned (quite mad) in his cage.

(Outlaw Queen interaction only).

He grasps at her arm, the one he has just saved, by the elbow as she brushes roughly, accidentally on purpose past him.

"Allow me one moment to check on my boy and I will accompany you and the Prince, Princess to the Dark Forest". He tells her.

"Your presence will not be required" she says stiffly, pulling her arm sharply away, scowl once again marring her lovely face.

"The Dark Forest can be deadly, especially at night, four pairs of eyes and an aim that doesn't miss"?. He doesn't get to finish his sentence as she interrupts.

"You really have a high opinion of yourself don't you Outlaw? or is it just greed perhaps? hanging out with the royals instead of smelly forest men or perhaps you are hoping for some shiny baubles to steal from this good witch?" she sneers, face in his, dark eyes flashing.

Robin swallows his anger, takes the deep breath he seems to always need when the Queen is in one of her moods "neither of those things interest me now or in the past, if I wished to rub shoulders with royalty I would have kept my title" he informs her calmly.

"Title? What Lord of the Squirrels?" She mocks.

"Actually its Robert, Earl of Huntington".

He makes no effort to hide his smirk at the brief shock that scrolls across Regina's face before she schools her expression back into one of distain.

"Perhaps, you shouldn't judge a book by its covers your Majesty" he shoots at her before she can fire off the next insult he can practically see curled on her tongue.

"Books" she scoffs "don't talk to me of books, besides Earl of some soggy woodland is hardly anything to write home about, I'm surprised you even know what a book is".

"Enough Regina, how about we just stop this right now, I offer to help you, you insult me, I save your arm, stop you from some hot headed impulse, you insult me, what happened to an honourable thief? what happened to?."

Again she interrupts him "You go too far Thief" she drawls the word at him "You would do well to remember your place, which is here, in this" she scuffs her leather boot in the mud, brings a heel down on a passing slug, "with the other crawling bugs lest I decide to squash you too".

"We both know if you were going to do that, you would have done it months ago" he tells her with a sigh.

"My place is here, in this castle, fighting with you, for you, for the people of this realm, for my boy's safety and his future. Ive made that quite clear I truly don't understand your issue with this"

He drops his voice, softens his tone, "Regina, I've kept your secrets, the things you have shared with me remain private, you know this, its been eight months, surely you know by now, my intentions are pure."

"I think your intentions are anything but, do you forget forcing yourself on me? Hardly pure".

She takes a step back, away from him, her anger a visible shimmer in the air around them. Robin's not worried, her anger may be directed at him but its really all her, she's angry with herself for getting caught up in this conversation, one she has been avoiding for the past two days.

"One" he holds a finger up to her "that's not what happened and you know it, I highly doubt anyone forces the Queen to do anything she doesn't want. Two it was only a kiss, stop being so dramatic and Three maybe my intentions aren't all together pure but what's wrong with that? I quite like you when you're not insulting absolutely everything about me."

"One" she mocks waving her own finger in his face, "you choose to fight for your own self interests, don't pretend its anything more than that. Two perhaps you are not as interesting as you think you are, I'm done with your little "chats", I do not need or want your wearisome presence, you would do best to leave me alone. Three and I will speak slowly so you understand, keep your filthy paws, lips and thoughts away from me. Is that clear?"

With that she's spinning away from him, stalking off to the edge of the dark forest to brood and convince herself that everything she has just said, is true.

Robin stands still for a moment, allowing the anger to run through him, clenching and unclenching his fists as if to physically force the anger from his body.

Damn her he growls, he tells himself for what feels like the hundredth time, god knows how many times he has actually told himself, its been on his lips since the first day he met her and every day since, is this worth it? The constant insults, the blatant running away, the lies she tells herself, the frustration and bouts of indigestion he suffers because of her, the Queen, Regina.

But there are two Regina's, the Regina who wounds with her sharp tongue, Regina who pushes and pushes, Regina who won't listen to reason, who is rude and infuriating and then there's the Regina who pushes her former nemesis to the ground to take the full force of an attack, Regina who sheds a tear for the Dark One when she thinks no one is looking, Regina who makes sure that Roland always gets the freshest chunk of bread at meal time and the Regina who told him her heart was irrevocably broken by the loss of her son with tears in her eyes and her fingers curled in his, and finally the Regina that kissed him back, however briefly.

That Regina is worth fighting for and while Earl Robert of Huntington was little more than a silver spooned arrogant scoundrel with no morals and nothing to fight for. This Robin, this reinvention of himself, hard earned with far too many scars to count, reborn as a fighter for those in need and those that struggle against the darkness, he knows dwells in all but the purest and rarest of hearts, will fight for her whether she likes it or not.  



	20. Comfort

Comfort

Outlaw Queen Little moment in the forest - missing year.

Enjoy x

She flinches slightly when he starts the fire, its a small pile of wood not his best but it will see them through the night.

Apart from the flinch she hasn't moved since casting a protection spell around the small crop of trees they will call home for the night. A protection spell she said to hide the fire and them from preying eyes. The witch may have vanished to lick her wounds but her ever present simian army remains a threat.

The flicker of the fire may have startled her momentarily from her thoughts but she does not move from the log, remains staring into the forest, her face a perfect mask, still lost deep in herself.

Times passes and Robin keeps busy, turning the rabbit meat on the spit he has cobbled together. He has already gathered enough moss and dried leaves to form a large enough pile for them both to lay upon. Nowhere near as comfortable as the furs his camp offers or the castle beds but infinitely better than the hard forest floor. Years of experience have taught him now matter how tired he is, it is always worth the effort, where possible to scrap moss from the bases of trees, his back and arse will certainly thank him in the morning.

He is tired to the bone, a long day of trekking through dark forest and navigating swollen rivers, culminating in a less than enjoyable fight for his life. A battle with flying beasts attacking from all sides has taken it out of him physically and mentally.

The adrenalin from the fight has long since worn off leaving him weary, feeling his age and melancholy has set in. The clearing, their destination had been a waste of time, one of many failed ventures to thwart the witch. The plants rumoured to grow there long since withered and gone, another plan and hopes dashed.

Robin turns the spit again, the meat is almost ready, a pitiful meal for two but enough to take the edge off. He is lost in his own thoughts now, wondering how the witch knew to attack the clearing, is there a spy amongst them or was she watching from the beginning, waiting until they reached the open clearing, ripe for attack. Neither option is cheering but he hopes for the latter, the thought of a spy in their midst too depressing on a night like this.

The meat is ready so he hauls himself from the ground, ignoring the protests from his knees and lower back as he does so. Regina still has not moved, impressive he thinks briefly, her body must ache more than his, she cannot be accustomed to long treks and he saw her thrown through the air at least twice, slammed into trees and finally the ground as she went head to head with the witch.

He wonders if she is injured but dismisses it, no way she could be injured and remain ram rod straight on that log for the past hour. He sweeps a practised eye over her form just incase, sees no injuries through the thin worsted linen shirt, she thought to wear for the days activities, slightly more suitable than a corset but still woefully inadequate for a day trip to the forest. Her leather pants are scuffed at the knees but there's no visible sign of damage but he would bet his lucky arrow she will have a fair few bruises come morning.

"Regina" silly to whisper but he doesn't want to startle her and cannot fully comprehend that the shield will mask his voice.

Its only when he stands directly in front of her, repeating her name for the third time, arm halfway to her shoulder that she notices his presence and snaps a "what?" at him.

"Dinners ready, come closer to the fire?"

She must be cold, she has a long woollen travelling cloak but it does not offer her much warmth positioned as it is under her rather than wrapped around her.

Regina huffs out a long breath, pushes herself off the log pulling her cloak from beneath her as she does so. Robin swallows his own sigh, only the queen could be displeased by the offer of warmth and food.

Regardless of her displeasure, she sits cross legged by his side and after fastening the cloak around her neck then wrapping it around herself so she is fully hidden beneath its folds, she takes the food from him with muttered thanks and a tiny quirk of her lips which he takes as a smile of gratitude.

He wonders again if she is injured, the way she wraps the cloak around her body as if she is hiding from him gives him pause. Regina is not shy about her figure, every time he has seen her, her womanly curves have been fully displayed, demanding attention but now she sits huddled, as invisible as she can possible be.

"Are you injured milady?" He asks softly.

She shakes her head, mouth occupied with chewing the tough meat. To his surprise she maintains eye contact and after swallowing her mouthful tells him she's just tired.

She must be absolutely exhausted because she takes the canteen he offers with the same murmured thanks as before and accepts a spot next to him on the mat of moss and leaves without a word. He remains sitting to allow her a semblance of space as she settles. As expected she turns her back to him, curls on her side, still wrapped in her cloak.

After a few moments she has stilled, Robin rolls himself onto his back, leaves as much space between them as possible, apologises softly to her back, tells her there was not enough moss available in their shielded spot for two separate mats. It's the truth, the sheet of moss he tugged from the base of the tree would have crumbled and been useless had he attempted to split it, still he needs her to know his intentions are pure.

Something is off with the indomitable queen tonight, other than injury and more than tiredness, her mood is low, reminds him uncomfortably of their shared trip beneath the castle. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me, the rhymes runs through his head, an silly lie to tell children he thinks, words wound and he wonders what was said in that clearing before he got there.

She does not answer but he knows she is not sleeping. He should be in her spot, she lies on the outer side away from the fire, he lies in the safer and more comfortable spot. The thought gnaws at him so much so he finds himself telling her so.

"We should swap places, you should be closer to the fire, the night will get cold and your cloak is quite thin"

He does not mention the thought that niggles at him that her spot is more vulnerable than his, should the shield fail.

He is rewarded for his concern with silence, determined he rises to his elbows.

"Regina" he insists.

"Too tired to move" she mumbles, sleep heavy in her voice. He knows that bone deep tiredness where even speaking is an effort.

"Well then, allow me"

Without waiting for a reply, Robin sits up fully, leans over, bracing his weight in his thighs, he scoops her from his left side up and over his lap, depositing her to his right, closer to the fire. She gives an little cry of annoyance but no more, he scoots away from her side, again giving her room to settle.

The space between them is smaller now and he pretends not to notice the shine of tears in her eyes reflected by the firelight as she lies on her back briefly before turning away from him once more.

Robin dozes, a habit borne of many nights spent as look out, not fully asleep, not fully awake. Regina sleeps soundly next to him, she is truly out for the count, breaths deep and regular, she is quiet in her sleep, has moved from her side to her back, fingers curled around the edge of her cloak. Hair half up, half down, strands have fallen across her face, dark locks shinning in the firelight, lips parted slightly, expression soft and peaceful in sleep.

When she turns into him, shifts on to her side, closing the small space between them, cloak fallen away, hands resting next to his, barely a touch. He finds himself shifting towards her, tucking her into him without thought and when she is fully nestled against him, when he has fingers entwined with hers and her head on his chest, he sleeps.

He wakes, its still dark, the night only half through, woken perhaps by the owl that hoots incessantly or by Regina who has not moved from his arms but no longer sleeps.

"Okay?" He mummers, runs his free hand up her arm and down again.

"Mmmm" she replies sleepily, not as much awake as he thought.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"her voice is sharper now, more awake, alert ready to deflect but lacks the sting of attack.

"About whatever the witch said that had you so upset" he mummers quietly.

A beat of silence but Robin waits patiently, she wants to talk otherwise she would have feigned sleep, would not be here still lying so close. True she has shifted back from him, pulled her fingers from his but remains on her side, allows his hands on her, face level with his, dark eyes flicking across his face as she weighs her words.

"I have many enemies Robin, most with good reason, enemies I have earned, deserve even" she shakes her head a little, sad smile on her face. "This one, this enemy, not so much"

He recalls her words, I own my bad deeds and understands, this enemy is just because, an enemy from birth, a sister who hates her because she exists rather than for what she has done. He thinks of what could have been, he's heard the tales from others of her mother, thinks how a sister could have been an ally. He thinks of his men, his true brothers not through blood but though loyalty and friendship.

He knows her well enough to know she doesn't need nor want his words, his assumptions of her past, so he reaches for her hand, tangles his fingers with hers, keeps a gentle hand on her.

"Maybe its in our blood, wickedness" she sighs.

"Wrong witch" he smirks, trying to lighten the mood. No matter how much she has changed, there is no denying that she was indeed the evil queen but she knows it, no good can come now from repeatedly throwing the title at her.

She takes the bait "No just evil" she counters, half smirk, half grimace.

"You're not that person anymore Regina"

He's serious now, wishes to smooth away the frown lines, the doubt that others do not see it so.

She doesn't reply, flicks her eyes down, away.

"Shall I tell you what I see? What lays beyond the evil queen, I see a brave and bold woman, stubborn and hot headed yes, tempestuous even but a person, a real person with cares and concerns, not just a title"

She shakes her head at him, laughs a little "in the realm without magic, we are all stories, not real at all" she tells him.

"Disturbing indeed, am I, a story?"curiosity gets the better of him.

"Yes you are Robin of the Hood" she chuckles

"Tales of my bravery and dashing good looks I should imagine".

"Hmmm, still a thief and outlaw".

"Ahh but a dashing thief and a heroic outlaw no doubt"

"If pedalling the same old stories about stealing from one person to benefit another and wearing tights counts as your idea of heroism, then yes" she huffs back at him.

Robin lets out a loud laugh, "not going to let that go are you?"

"Nope" she smiles, a genuine one this time. Robin smiles back at her, proud that he has offered what he hopes is small comfort. The banter between them easy and light, as much as he enjoys sparing with her verbally, this is better, so much better.

"Wait tights?" He asks, delighting in her smile yet again.

Regina is laughing, head tucked down, the movement of her shoulders giving her away. Robin reaches for her, wishes to see her laughter "so lovely to see" he mummers.

He has accused her of acting without thinking, called her out a few times on her impulsive behaviour but truth is, he's not that much better than her, can be quite reckless himself and its that side of him, that reaches a hand to her face to bring it to his, to see her smile, allows his eyes to flick down to her lips, keeps his hand on her cheek, stroking from cheekbone down to trace those lips, presses his lips there.

Its gentle, what she needs, what he needs, she is the first woman he has lain with since Marian. He needs it to be with care, not to sully the memory of his wife, not to take from Regina selfishlessly.

So its with gentleness and softness that he touches her, kisses her. Its slow, so so slow, achingly so as he removes her shirt, kisses her skin. Soft, she's so soft and lovely as he wraps her cloak around them and moves his weight on to her, runs gentle hands down thighs, bringing hers to wrap around him. He doesn't nip or bite with his lips, doesn't thrust or grind carelessly, his lips never leave hers, slow languid kisses, foreheads touching, hands that soothe and slide over bare flesh. Its not angry lust or frustration that brings them together and he's grateful.

He would be a fool to deny the tension between them, present from day one, tension that could easily have overwhelmed and lead to a different union, a union that both would regret but this is borne of care and comfort, a good moment for both of them, weariness and sorrow turned to gentle pleasure and tenderness.

He knows in the morning she will rebuild her walls and become the Queen once more but for now as she settles in his arms and he whispers "stay", he pretends that one day she might.  



	21. Just

Just

Outlaw Queen Set present day, not long after Marian's return Regina/Robin = angsty/smut((ish))?..

She didnt come here to do this but nonetheless it's happening but as long as they just trade kisses, its nothing just kisses, kisses she doesn't deserve but will take anyway.

Its cold that's why they stood so close to each other, she wouldn't listen that's why he grabbed her arm to pull her in, he wouldn't look her in the eye that's why she cupped his chin with her hand, he was angry that's when he pushed her against the tree.

He desires her, its evident in the way he rolls his tongue into her mouth almost immediately, its evident in the way one hand digs greedy fingers into her hip, the way the other runs ceaselessly up down up her side, presses against her ribs, bunches the material of her coat.

He kisses and kisses her and she lets him, lets him undo her coat buttons, lets his hands resume their path, fingertips denied flesh, ghost her skin through fine fabric, a barrier that remains, a flimsy facade of decency.

She won't let him cross that questionable line, wont allow him to touch her in the way they both want, pushes his hand away to her hip, away from her aching heat.

Its just a kiss, just a kiss but she wont return him to his wife, wanting, in need of relief that belongs to her. A wife he swears he will not return to but a wife he deserves and she determines he will have.

Its perverse to deny him her body, a last ditch attempt at self preservation but to give him relief with her hand, to take him heavy and hot in her palm, to ignore his protests that he is hers and hers alone yet revel in the cry of her name from his lips as he nears his release.

She can offer him this, just this kiss, just her hand, alone in the woods which she swears will be the last time, just this and nothing else. She will give him back everything he lost, everything she took in the first place, he can have it all and this will be just a memory. Just one more memory like the first and only kiss in their rediscovered past when she was a Queen and he was just a thief. Just one innocent comfort filled kiss, one sweet memory, perhaps the only one.

Just one glorious shared night when they were equal and she was just herself, her heart and soul one, filled with light and hope and he was just hers and hers alone.

Just one more kiss, just one roll more of his hips against hers, just one more mingled breath, just one more stolen moment, just the two of them, just a memory.  



	22. The Dinner Party

The Dinner Party

Enchanted forest - missing year Set in the middle of the missing year (before bathing in rivers & paying with pine cones)

Lots of Snowing / Regina & Snow friendship / hints of Outlaw Queen.

Its so obvious, she sighs inwardly as she watches Robin sit up straighter in his chair, brush imaginary lint from his shoulder when Regina enters the room.

Regina sweeps her eyes over those gathered, brows furrowed, ignores the bright smile that Robin gives her, scowls at the room in general "well?" She bites out.

David's tiny exhale of warm air tickles her cheek as he stands to bring the room to order, although Regina's arrival has already done so, the room fell silent upon her arrival, leaving Snow to wonder yet again if her lateness is political rather than just rude. Her and David were the first here and apart from Robin everyone else had wandered about since arriving, bemoaning the lack of cake.

The meeting drags on and on and Snow starts to daydream about the menu for Saturdays dinner party. Regina has been in a fairly okay mood these past couple of weeks and has agreed to her idea for a get together, a little get to know you better with Philip and Aurora. The threat from the witch hasn't materialised into anything as yet, Rumple is still missing and they are still rebuilding the kingdom but things are calmer and she feels positive for the first time since leaving Storybrooke, Emma and Henry.

It's definitely not a blind date but five is not a great number so she's planning on inviting Robin. David likes him, thinks him a decent bloke, she trusts his judgement and Robin has been nothing but helpful since their return plus she doesn't think he will say no to the chance of an informal evening with the Queen. He's been sneaking peeks at her when he thinks no one is watching for most of the meeting. Snow's noticed even if Regina seems totally oblivious or at least pretends to be.

"You look radiant" David tells her as she smoothes down the front of her gown for the fifth time, it feels a little tighter than usual. She pushes the thought away, no time for day dreaming now, not when the dinner party is due to start and she has to tell Regina that Philip and Aurora have cancelled so it will just be the four of them.

"We could cancel" David suggests, reading her mind yet again.

"Definitely not" she insists, she has been looking forward to this week. A nice evening, good food, a little luxury, a little normality, a Saturday night dinner with friends, sort of. No it will be fine, as long as Regina doesn't think its a set up and its not so she shouldn't, everything will be fine.

"Okay" David hums "I'm sure Regina will play nice, she knows you have been looking forward to this".

Snow laughs at the thought, if he had said that to her a year ago, it would have been in jest but now its in earnest, the three of them working together, each trying in their own small ways to make the other happy.

She smiles as David takes her hand and pulls her towards the door "Come on, I'm famished".

"Looks lovely" David tells her as they enter the room. She had chosen the small anti chamber rather than the dining hall, the smaller room far more suitable for six or four as they were to be now, positioned the table in front of the balcony, left the doors open, lit candles on the castle walls, and a bright fire burning in the hearth off to the side. She is pleased with her handiwork, the white tapered candles either side of her red and white flower arrangement work well she thinks, pretty but not grand, the room looks soft, inviting.

"So many compliments tonight, is someone hoping to get lucky later?" she lilts.

"Maybe" David mummers as he winds a arm across her waist from behind, rests his chin on her shoulder, pulls her into him slightly.

"Im not too early I hope?" Robin asks giving the door a small knock before stepping into the room. David gives her a gentle squeeze before letting her go to greet Robin.

She sweeps a welcoming smile over her shoulder towards the merry man as she fiddles with the cutlery, should she leave the extra plates meant for Philip and Aurora or remove them leaving the table looking off centre?

"Not at all" David tells him and thanks him for the bottle he offers, the best spiced cider you've ever tasted Robin is telling him.

"Oh you should try Regina's, its wonderfully refreshing" Snow says turning fully to greet him properly.

He looks good she thinks, clean shaven, nicely put together "now none of that" she giggles at him as he takes her hand in a mini bow, a nod to her status "its just a friendly dinner, although I am sad to say that Philip and Aurora will not be attending so its just the four of us, okay?"

Robin nods "of course, does Regina know?"

"Does Regina know what?" she asks sweeping into the room.

"Evening Regina" Snow beams at her "you look lovely" as always she thinks with a small sigh. Regina looks truly lovely in a deep red floor length sleeveless silk dress, moulded perfectly to her figure, matching long gloves, layers and layers of diamonds at her neck, diamonds in her tumbling curls add the glamour missing from the somewhat plain dress but as she walks forward Snow notices black darts in the skirt of the dress and the black band stitched with diamonds at the waist, and thinks it not so plain after all.

She glances at Robin who is busy drinking in the sight of her. "Stunning" he breathes.

"Very sparkly" David steps forward presses a small kiss to the side of Regina's cheek and a wine glass into her hand. He turns towards her repeats the gesture, although his kiss finds her ear and she smiles, thanks him for the wine.

Once Robin has his and they chuckle over Robin's fake disappointment at the lack of a kiss for him, David raises his glass in a small toast "wishes all a good evening".

Regina rolls her eyes but says nothing to the news that they are a party of four.

"Lets eat" David says holding out her chair, Snow looks up as Robin pulls out Regina's chair for her. She'd bet her pearl earrings he doesn't smell like forest tonight and she wonders if Regina will notice.

"No wicked witch talk" Snow exclaims as David and Robin begin to debate the topic, "Lets talk about more pleasant things, Robin surely you must have a tale or two to share?

He grins "indeed but I'm not sure any are suitable".

"Oh I'm sure" Regina mutters darkly

"Well Robin, you must have seen a sight or two in your travels" Snow chirps out, determined to keep the evening pleasant.

"I had the pleasure of visiting the fire caves of Ashpormoth before they were destroyed, a terrifying yet wondrous sight, hurt to look at truth be told but a searingly beautiful sight", Robin's gaze is focused on Regina, "wild and untamed" he says.

"Yourself" he gestures tearing his eyes from Regina towards David, who shakes his head, "I'm afraid I haven't really had the chance to travel much beyond our little corner of the forest" he confesses.

Both she and David both look to Regina, awaiting for the inevitable comment regarding David's past but she is busy scrapping the capers from her fish.

Regina looks up, no doubt aware of their eyes on her "hmmm? What? I don't like capers" she says.

"Me neither" Robin agrees and passes her the salt "and you Regina, have you travelled?"

"Some" she nods, Snow doesn't expect anything further and is ready with her reply, Regina does not elaborate, turns her attention back to her fish, dissecting it piece by piece looking for bones.

Snow fills the silence talks of her favourite spot in their land, the wailing waterfalls, ethereal in their beauty at dawn and eerie (yet harmless) at night.

"Wonderland was pretty exotic" Regina says tipping her wine glass towards David indicating he should fill it, which he does without a word, as eager no doubt as she is herself that Regina will continue.

"Is it like the book?" she prompts unable to wait.

"Yes and no" Regina pauses "definitely a strange place...I did meet the smoking caterpillar, it was very...odd"

"Smoking caterpillars, I would imagine one would want to be wearing shoes when they are around" Robin says lifting his glass towards the jug David still holds.

"Its just the one and its a giant no chance of stepping on him" Regina tells him "unless you are really clumsy" she adds, narrowing her eyes and arching a brow in a manner that she suspects he may be just that.

"The caterpillar has a smoking habit, its not a caterpillar that gives off smoke" Snow tells him kindly "at least I assume that detail is correct Regina?" she asks.

"Yes the caterpillar smokes, excessively so" she agrees. "Nasty habit".

"What about the White Rabbit?" David asks.

Regina shrugs "probably, I didn't meet him, you're better off asking Jefferson".

"Jefferson's from Wonderland?" Snow asks turning to David.

"No" its Regina that answers "he's from here, he just spent some time...in wonderland"

"Really?" Snow looks curious at David he seems to know this.

"Don't you two talk? " Regina grumbles, echoing Snow's own thoughts "or at least read the book"

"Book?" Robin asks bewildered by the change in conversation.

Silence falls as Snow weighs the words on the tip of her tongue but Regina beats her to it.

"In the land without magic, all of us" she gestures to the room and the wider castle with her fish knife "are merely stories, bedtime stories read to children, the stories are muddled, some similar to the truth but some completely inaccurate."

She takes a breath "In Storybrooke, the town I created with the curse, there was a different book, that told of our true stories, it is to this book that I refer whereas previously Snow and David were referring to the general books of the realm"

"I see" Robin murmurs taking it all in "so the different book only exists in Storybrooke?"

"Yes" Regina nods.

"And it has your tales in it" he looks at all of them.

"Yes and yours" Regina says.

"Mine?" He queries.

"Yes of how you stole the dagger from the Dark One to save your wife from sickness" she says simply.

"Oh" he says expression shocked.

"And you have all read this book?" He asks.

"I have" Regina states, sips at her wine.

"Some" "a little" both she and David answer. Truthfully they had both read their story and glanced at the different tales.

She shrugs "it seemed too personal, I mean once we knew everyone, to read their lives"

Regina nods "besides the book is biased" and much to Snow's surprise she laughs at her own joke.

Next to her David smiles and changes the subject hoping to keep the tone light.

Robin is not so keen to let the subject go fully "What's it like stepping into a portal?, does it hurt?" He asks curiously.

"Depends on the portal" Regina answers crossing her cutlery and pushing her plate away from her "The hat was the most interesting as it led to a room of doors, too many too count" she waves away the unspoken question. "It doesn't hurt but its disorientating and it makes you feel small, insignificant".

"Fascinating " Robin breathes "I had no idea, how many realms do you think there are? he wonders.

Regina tips her glass at him again "why would you. As to how many, I have no idea, infinite I would guess, as many that can be dreamt of"

"And magic" Robins asking again "is it something you are born with or something you learn"

"Both" she tells him. Snow finds herself leaning in closer, so many times she's wanted to ask "normally its passed down through the generations, so if one parent has magic, the child probably will. It can be learnt but I personally believe a person has to have a touch of it to start with and of course children born of true love will have magic".

"You were born with it?" Robin asks gently.

"Yes" she nods "but I was unaware of it until I was older, almost a grown woman most children born with magic exhibit signs much earlier"

"Why"? Robin asks.

"Why didn't I have magic before? Regina clarifies.

Robin nods holds her eyes with his, completely unashamed in his curiosity.

Regina shrugs looks away "maybe I did and just don't remember or more likely I was made to forget"

More likely indeed Snow thinks.

Robin is asking who would do such a thing when David jumps up and starts collecting plates "main course coming right up" he says.

Regina sighs "its fine David" she turns to Robin "my mother most likely, she practised dark magic, she was quite well known you must of heard of her, they called her Queen of Hearts in most realms"

Robin nods his assent "Yes, I have but I don't pay much heed to gossip, mostly its overblown and farfetched"

"Not in this case" David says.

Regina turns her gaze from Robin, the questioning look on her face replaced with a glare for David, opens her mouth but whatever she was going to say she holds her tongue as the main course is brought in.

"My father was an arse, a tyrant and a arse" Robin tells them later, dessert consumed, fourth bottle of wine opened, chairs pushed back and all except Regina slumped a little in their chairs.

David's arm rests over her shoulder, occasionally he twists a strand or two of hair in his fingers, so nice she thinks.

"Mine was absent" David says.

Robin raises his eyebrows at that says nothing but his confusion is evident.

Snow sighs dangerous ground again she thinks.

"King George isnt dead dear" Regina reminds him.

David laughs without humour "I see no reason to keep that particular story going now do you? He asks "no reason to besmirch the memory of my true father a good man" he raises a glass "a good man" he repeats.

"King George isn't David's father, nor Prince James for that matter, both sons were procured for the King by Rumplestilkskin" Snow says gentle hand on his knee, "David and James were twins, James died and David was brought in to stand on his place" Snow confides.

"You may not see a reason to keep that secret" Regina huffs "but I do, so unless you fancy a public beheading Robin Hood that secret stays in this room"

Robin looks affronted "no need for threats Regina, I have no interest in how the Royals conduct their business, one of the many reasons I chose my current profession"

"Profession" Regina laughs "Hardly"

"Vocation then" he bites back.

"Whatever" she sighs.

"Lets dance" Snow says, its for the first thing that comes into her mind.

"Absolutely not" Regina says.

"Id love to" Robin laughs "but we have no music" he points out.

"Regina please" she's practically begging but now the idea's in her head she finds she wants nothing more.

Regina sighs, looks to David who raises his palms at her, a universal gesture for leave me out of it.

"Spoilsport" Snow grumbles.

"Don't pout dear" Regina scolds her.

"You should come down to the camp" Robin says "many of the men play, we often hold impromptu jigs"

"Queens do not jig" Regina scoffs.

"I'll have you know I'm an excellent dancer" Robin tells her "waltz or jig".

"Sounds like a challenge" Snow jumps on the idea "I have to know now, David you can hum" she laughs.

Pushing back her chair she makes her way to the centre of the room, waves her hand at Robin.

David dutifully begins to hum, a tune she does not recognise and thinks he maybe making up as he goes along.

"Oh for god sake" Regina huffs waves her hand impatiently and music starts to play.

"Thank you Regina" Snow grins.

David stands and offers Regina his hand which she takes with an eye roll.

Robin really is quite a good dancer and he definitely does not smell like forest but like musk and pine. This was a good idea, Regina is not truly unhappy with the turn of events, Snow knows she likes to dance although she pretends otherwise, and soon Snow will get to do one of her favourite things, dance with David.

Robin hands her to David who immediately spins her in his arms, she laughs and slaps at his arm and spins herself back round, she really wants to watch Robin and Regina dance.

As she thought they make a good pair, Regina is a excellent dancer and matches Robin step for step, they look so effortless as he slides her across the floor. Roughly the same height, Snow suspects Regina is wearing ridiculously high heels hidden under her dress, they maintain eye contact and Snow's smile grows as she watches Regina's mouth twitch into a smile of her own. She doesn't think shes imagining, it could be wishful thinking but she's pretty sure that Robin's grip has tightened on Regina's waist and he has just pulled her closer. Then David's twirling her again and thoughts of the other couple leave her mind especially when David is whispering in her ear that they should call it a night soon.

"Oh" Regina says holding up the bottle she's just uncorked as David announces their intention to leave.

"It never tastes the same once its uncorked" Robin murmurs "seems a shame to waste it" and lifts up his glass. Its a request for Regina to stay, with him and finish their drink. Snow finds herself holding her breath a little, say yes Regina she wishes.

Regina nods and fills both their glasses, pulls her chair closer to the fire, closer to where Robin sits.

"Well good night" she tries for nonchalance, fails if Regina's furrowed brow is anything to go by.

Robin is standing and thanking them for a lovely evening, she waves him away "next time its your turn to host" she jokes.

"They look good together don't they? she asks David as he closes the door leaving Robin and Regina alone.

"Snow" David warns.

"Hmmm, yes I know" she trails off, she knows to leave it alone but she really cant help but hope, Regina was so open tonight, a little blunt but not hostile and she really likes Robin, says so to David.

"Do I have competition?" He laughs.

"No of course not" squeezes his fingers in hers and as they slowly make their way down the corridor "but he's good with her, I mean he hears what she doesn't say rather than what she does, you know?" David nods he's well acquainted with Regina's ways by now.

"He wont take none of her crap either" he agrees.

"Hmmmm" she knows what he means but even so she finds herself on the defensive, when she quite appointed herself Regina's defender she doesn't know but she doesn't really mind, rebuilding their lives here would have been hell without Regina's help so if she needs to speak up for her every now and again she will happily do so "she's just an emotional person"

David chuckles "aren't all women?"

"Hey" she slaps him, fends indignation, knows he's messing with her, he cried buckets over The fault in our stars and she's not above reminding him.

"Would you if you weren't you"? She asks, doesn't bother to explain further David will know.

"Snow are you asking me if I would date your step mother?

"No of course not, not as you but if you were Robin would you?"

David chuckles and looks at her softly "Don't push it Snow, neither of then will thank you for it"

"I know, I know and I wont" she wouldn't dare truth be told "but well do you think he would, court her if she'd let him?"

"If and its a big if" David says "yeah I think he would".

"I think so too" she smiles happily "we should have another dinner party" ignores David's groan.  



	23. Resourceful

Storybrooke set after the snow monster but not following canon, predicated or onscreen.

Outlaw Queen / Henry & Regina

Resourceful

Its not a great situation to be in for anyone but its made considerable worst by the fact that Robin and his wife are also trapped, as is Henry, which is her main concern that and the head injury she knows she has but is trying to hide and heal and is failing at both.

Henry is torn between trying to outsmart Robin and out glare Marian. Marian who is glaring at her, blaming her for their current predicament and glaring at Robin who stands at side, one hand holding her elbow, the other in front of her face, insisting she count his fingers that she knows he holds steady but nonetheless flicker and double before her eyes.

"Three" she tells him confidently, a lie she's really not sure, could be four.

"Count my fingers" Henry mutters darkly

"Henry" she hisses at him shocked.

She pulls away from Robin, forcing her elbow from his firm grip, a movement that leaves her dizzy, nauseous.

"Can't you get us out with magic?" Marian asks.

"No she cant" Robin mummers "you cant heal yourself can you?" He asks her quietly.

He's crowding her space again, she wishes he would step away, she would step back but the wall is behind her and theres no where to go except to lean against it, sink back let the wall take her weight, slide down to the uneven ground and not get up again and she wont, not Henry needs her.

"Mom?"

"I just need a minute" its another lie, she's had enough minutes to try and heal, try and move the rubble that blocks their way out of the mines, nothing is working.

"The lift shaft" Henry says, voice squeaking in his lightbulb moment "thats what Archie and I used to get out last time"

Robin nods "which way?" he asks turning to face her boy.

Henry points into the darkness "down there and to the right, then left I think or maybe right but its just down there" he insists.

"Are you sure?" Robin asks casting a wary eye towards the tunnel and back to her, his gaze measured. She knows he's calculating how much time she has before she can't keep her eyes open, before sleep takes her, sleep which this time offers an more definite end. She's already broken her promise to herself, her weight is against the wall. She raises her gaze to his, fights to keep her voice steady "go" she says.

Robin nods, a silent understanding passes between them. Get Henry out no matter what.

A light flares behind him, startling her but it is only Marian, she has fashioned a torch from what looks like her cloak and a stick.

"Resourceful" Regina mutters.

Robin turns, looks over his shoulder at his wife, Regina imagines the expression on his face, pride probably, pride and care, a look he used to give her and suddenly everything hurts just that little bit more.

"Henry" Robin is speaking "stay here with your mother, we will find a way out. Henry" Robin places both hands on Henry's shoulders "its very important that Regina stays awake, do you understand?"

Such a weight to put on his shoulders, she wants to weep as she sees the realisation dawn on his young face.

Henry nods "yes"

"Good man" Robin tells him then he's crossing the small space that separates them, clutching at her arm and whispering in her ear "stay awake Regina, for your boy, for me, we can't lose you" then he's gone.

Anger courses through her, he has no right to ask her to stay for him, not when he leaves with a hand on his wife's back and no backward glance.

"Mom"

"Im okay" she offers a watery smile "sit with me" standing is no longer an option, its sit or fall.

Henry takes her arm and helps her sink to the floor "are you cold?" she asks.

Henry shakes his head no. "I could try moving some of the rubble" he says pointing to the cave in "where the light comes through" the light streaks that she is grateful for, make it possible for her to see his precious face.

"No honey, its not safe. Come talk to me" she needs to hear his voice, needs him to anchor her once more.

"Tell me of New York"

"Mom I've told you all my stories a million times" he whines.

"Indulge me" she asks, Henry is a bright boy but he's twelve years old, still a child really, he wants tales of adventures and heroes doesn't want to recount his math scores yet again.

"Tell me of the missing year" he begs " you need to talk not me"

She's so tired, words are hard to form, let alone thoughts, everything jumbles, its all heartache, the cold hard bite of loss, although he sits beside her, hand in hers, the sting is real and bitter again. A double dose of missing Henry and finding him of finding Robin and missing him.

She should be sat in the diner with Robin by her side telling Henry of their adventures, of their heroic battles against a wicked witch, of how Robin was by her side and they fought and bickered (and fell in love, just didn't know it then, well he did he said, not that it matters now) but she can't because the wicked witch was her sister, another bitter betrayal that can never be remedied and her code abiding Robin broke her heart with his love and she is a fool for thinking it could be otherwise and now she will die in this tunnel where she asked to die once before but now will truly die, more herself than she has ever been.

She cannot find the words for herself so she tells him of his grandfather, not the one captured and insane, mindlessly spinning straw into gold in a cage but the 'good' one that rides horses and fights with a sword and knocks up his wife in the middle of a war.

She tells him how David ventured to a tower in the middle of the night and recused a princess and the ball that followed. Even this story mocks her with the details she has left out, how it felt to watch the good king and queen reunite with their child while hers was gone forever, how it felt to dance with Robin and the look he gave her that left her heart racing and her palms sweaty.

Henry is asking question after question, she knows she is slurring and she knows he is anxious, sees it in his tight smiles, sees him peer around her again and again, hopeful for rescue, it breaks what is left of her beaten down heart.

"Im sorry" she tells him.

"Its not your fault mom" he tells her but it is, if she hadn't rushed in, had waited when Robin warned her, hadn't scoffed at him, hadn't been so wound up by his and Marian's presence then...

Henry is shaking her causing the pain to blister and bubble in her head, she wants to tell him to stop but beyond the pain is the soft darkness, the blessed silence that calls to her, confuses her.

Henry is shouting her name, she knows he is crying although she cannot see his face, begging her to wake up and she's begging herself but her body won't cooperate, she's so tired, so bone crushingly tired, there's no magic and no end to the pain in her head, then Henry's voice is fading away, everything is fading away.

Sharp pain again as he shakes her, enough to jostle not to rattle, a hand across her face, a harsh blow of air in her ear, "wake up wake up, theres a way out, just hold on just hold on" he tells her.

"Stop you're hurting her" its Henry shouting.

"Henry" she whispers.

Maybe she's crying out in pain, she's not sure, everything is so blurry and so far away, there's a sound of rustling in her ears, she hears Robin let out a oomph and his hands leave her.

"Get off her" Henry implores.

"I have to move her Henry, I promise I won't hurt her"

"You already did"

A beat of silence until Robin answers, his voice so low she doubts she'd hear it if it wasn't whispered so close to her ear.

"I know"

He's lifting her, she knows how it feels to be carried by him, this is not the first time he has done so. Time stretches and she's falling.

She feels split, part of her detached, watches as he carries her, a dead weight in his arms, sees how he cradles her to him, presses her against his chest as if his heartbeat alone can save her.

The other her, almost sleeping, recognises his scent, takes comfort in it, breathes him in, fights the comforting darkness, eyes flutter open and she is one again,

"Henry...I love you" its barely a whisper but he has heard one last time and he is safe now. Robin is taking him to safety.

"I love you" it's to Robin, the smallest voice she has ever used but she cannot fight any longer.

"I love you Milady" he tells her "I love you truly and forever".

She shuts her eyes.

It was the ever resourceful Marian that saved her she discovers later and when she thinks of it, she always imagines the other woman scrambling back through the tunnels, driven by the need to help others, clutching the fairy dust she found on her way out, selfless and brave.

Whenever she thinks of it and she does more often than she cares to admit, she always remembers the look on Marian's face, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, Marian's face frozen in heartbreak and shock, her world crumbling away as she hears her husband's words, hears him declared his love for another.  



	24. Rain

Rain

EF - beginning of missing /Robin/Roland

All they ever talk about is the weather or HER. She hears the comments, some whispered, some not. His, always to her face, "Mercurial" he says.

"Volatile" they say, "hotheaded" he says and during a fight "stubborn" "reckless"

Words and words, unwanted opinions digging like nails into her skin.

She is not responsible for the weather.

"Changeable" he says.

That one she will give him, changeable is a fact not an opinion, things change, people change, she has changed sometimes she wishes she hadn't.

Its raining, been raining for days, "relentless" he says, she's not sure if he is talking about the weather or if he is still berating her for spending two days and two nights in the library working her way through dusty tomes. "Besides you need your strength for your next ill advised scheme " and then "Time to go, you smell like library" he says.

The rain keeps her awake, a heavy torrent against the flagstones, its echoes boom in her chambers, enough to wake the dead. Sleep will not come not matter how heavy her eyes, how weary her bones, she remains wired, overtired.

Maybe she is responsible for the weather.

"Restless" he murmurs in quiet understanding, sometimes she appreciates him, especially when he comes equipped with a hip flask of her best whiskey.

She doesn't remember returning to her chambers but thats where she wakes, blinking at the grey light, sound of the rain mocking her.

"The gods are crying papa" the boy exclaims in glee, sad frown gone now that the freedom to roam has been granted.

"Not the big puddle" he groans but the boy is already soaked to the bone and the rain is warm so there is no harm to be done.

"That was fun" the boy says "did you see when papa came to get me and I splashed him and he got soooo wet?" Small hand in hers, all smiles and giggles and its easier than she thought to smile back.

"This is my room" he tells her proudly "this is my book, here's Mr Monkey, remember? My quill, its a bit broken but it makes big lines, oh and here is my horsey, horse" he corrects remembering big boys don't say horsey "he's called "Rocinante"

"Rocinante" he repeats at her questioning, rolls the word slowly so she can understand "its from a book papa says"

The rain does not stop for lunch nor supper. The castle is stuffed full of warm damp bodies, loitering in hallways, crowded the dining hall, stifling.

It pours and pours, too loud in her chambers, the open balcony lets the noise in and she can't think, can't breathe. Escapes to the library, the glass in the windows muffles the rain, it is quiet, quieter at least.

He comes knocking at midnight, witching hour "you're missing a rather spectacular storm"

"Regina, look!" Roland says pointing at the sky "look at the lights".

She is always Regina (and the boy is Roland now not boy) never your Majesty, she doesn't mind, it doesn't matter, never really did.

"Quite a show" he says and as she holds his boy "beautiful" he smiles.

Its drizzle now, a fine mist, the rain clears and she sleeps and sleeps.

Wakes to flowers in her room, cold tea by her bed, they haven't left her alone not even when she sleeps but it doesn't rankle like it did. She splits the flowers into two vases, one for her dresser and one for the side table.

The drizzle darkens his hair, makes his eyes bluer. His son's smile grows bigger and bigger every time he greets her, a loud cry of joy for the unbroken quill she gifts him, a squeal and a hug for the chocolate they share.

He finds her in her spot later when the castle is quiet and sleeping, thanks her for the gifts and the time she spends with his boy. "Its good for him" he tells her "too many smelly forest men in his life, I worry about that" leaves the rest unsaid.

She likes that about him best, when he doesn't say everything just enough.

The rain starts again, sweeps in unwanted, torturing her with its unrestrained descent, the air grey and humid, sticks in her throat, restless she plots.

"Too risky" he says.

Sometimes he says too much, she begrudges it, that he thinks he has the right, he doesn't, she tells him as much, pretends not to notice the hurt in his eyes.

She ignores him at lunch but he ignores her ignoring him "Sulking" he says.

Laughs loud, feigns innocence "Roland is sulking, he wants to play outside. He's bored".

She ignores him still, is no company for the boy right now, not when every word that leaves her lips is bitter, not when her smiles are more akin to snarls.

She cannot shake her black mood, hates the damned rain that wont stop, hates the dry itch of her eyes, eyes that stubbornly refuse to shed one single tear. The whole world is wet and she is nothing but a dry husk.

"Idiotic" he reprimands. "You have people that care about you, this needs to stop"

He leaves, slams the door, leaves her to tend her wounds in peace, the room feels too large, too empty.

The library is stuffy, fire smoky, the wood damp. His jacket and waistcoat abandoned on the table, next to a half drunk whiskey bottle, two glasses, one unused. He has waited for her, has fallen asleep in her spot. She puts out the fire, drapes a blanket over him, cushion behind his head and leaves.

It rains on and off all day, stops long enough to leave the castle, walk the grounds, gown trailing in mud, heavy enough to tire.

She claims her spot, earlier than usual, he does not come but she's not waiting so it doesn't matter. The blanket smells of him, she takes it when she leaves, its colder now she tells herself and the blanket is wool but not the scratchy kind.

"Roland's sick" he tells her "just a cold, some soup, some rest he will be fine"

He's right, the boy is up and about later that day seeking chocolate so he can really feel better he pleads.

The boy is heavy in her arms as she carries him to his room, a solid weight in his sleep. Easy to tuck him into his bed, hard to leave.

When he arrives a little later, he follows her to the corridor not content with the hasty excuse she gives.

"Regina" he says voice quiet with care

"Regina" steps closer and closer and she cannot move, cannot leave, cannot turn to or away from him.

He turns her, gentle hand on her shoulder, arm around her waist "come on" he says pulls her to his room, closes the door behind them, arms never leaving her "Regina" he says, tucks her into him, holds gently as she cries, dam broken, a torrent of tears finally released, tears and tears that fall and fall like the rain.  



	25. A Good Person Would

A Good Person Would

EF - Missing Year Outlaw Queen Angst

The anger's long since gone, dissipated at the bitter end, left a familiar ache of nothing in her chest. She can't even manage a derisive snort, although the audience demands it, she's not in a giving mood right now.

They can have her presence and her silence and be grateful. She turns her head towards the window, tunes out the 'all is not lost' speech that Snow and David vainly struggle through.

She can't look the girl in the eye, not right now, not tonight, doesn't want to see the truth that lies there, that this time even the ever hopeful Snow White is struggling to believe her own words.

She longs for silence, inside the room and inside her head. The attack replays over and over, years of plotting ruses, setting traps, marking out battlefields, plans and strategies have sharpened her mind, she can see the exact moment they started to lose but the cold indifference she used to have, is gone.

The attack was quick, vicious, they were completely unprepared, weak and they suffered. Ten men dead, ten men, so few yet ten too many. Hundreds have died faceless in her name yet the faces of those men linger in her mind. Is this what its like to be good? To feel something when the loss is not personal? Ten dead, ten less mouths to feed, ten less fighters in their war, five merry men, she cannot look at Robin.

The room has fallen silent, all eyes rest on her, David presumably repeats his question to her

"Do you have anything to add Regina?"

Does she? What is there to say? What does she want to say?

Regina pushes back her chair, stands as tall and proud as ever,

"This won't happen again"

Says it with a certainty she does not yet feel but with a resolve she finds she means.

She turns, gives them the exit they expect, sweeps haughtily from the chambers, pretends not to notice the gratitude in Snow's eyes, the small, almost inaudible puff of relief from David, the fact that Robin has turned away. For the first time, he looks away from her, won't meet her eyes.

Its late, very late but sleep eludes her, frustration chases it away. She's used to the sleepless nights, the rare nights that she does manage to get some rest, she always wakes surprised.

This is the first night that sleep runs from her with a name on its lips that is not Henry, with frustration that rankles not borne from this unwanted return nor from the memories that chase her through corridors, lurk in every room and mock her with their very existence.

HE keeps her awake, him and the defeated look that painted his face almost unrecognisable, the pain he wore so openly, as vivid as the bright red blood on his shirt. His un-waiving determination to bring every fallen man home with dignity and care, it keeps her awake.

She stayed and listened to his words when they returned, stood silently, off to the side busying herself with cleaning the mud from her boots but she heard every single word. He didn't say much but what he said was true, she felt the weight of those words, saw strength instead of weakness in the comfort they gave.

Asked her herself the question again, the same question since the return, is this what good looks like? Is this what good sounds like?

Her mind is too awake, the thoughts that spin turn her stomach. The battle has shaken her more than she is ready to admit, she needs a distraction. The book she wants she left in the reading room, could easily be summoned by magic but she is still dressed, although she changed her gown after the battle and left her hair down, she is still more than suitable attired to roam her castle.

A castle that is never quiet, never empty, they leave her be, some watch when she walks the halls, some avert their eyes, some in bright daylight nod a greeting but at night everyone pretends not to see her wandering.

His men are still in the great hall, celebrating their fallen brothers, she can hear snatches of conversations as she passes, low voices, bark of a laugh she recognises belonging to the ironically named Little John.

She cannot see him, assumes he is with his boy.

The reading room is small and comfortable, despite it being a favourite of Snow's in years past, she finds she likes the cosy room, likes its clutter, its faded flocked green leaf wallpaper, likes the large padded window seat best of all.

She picks up her adopted shawl from the table, a simple linen, cream with gold embroidery, more Granny than Queen but its lightweight and wraps around any of her ostentatious gowns easily, it smells like pine needles and musk.

A lone candle burns, flickering yellow light on green leafed walls, leaf patterns that seem to sway in gentle breeze, a trick of the eye, a pleasant one for once.

She lights the fire the old fashioned way, rubbing sticks and kindling, cups her hands and blows the flames to life.

"Who knew a Queen could catch a fire alight the peasant way"

He has startled her for the first time, no matter had quiet his tread she has always known he was there, heard his approach makes her wonder if he was never trying to hide it but she had closed the door, no one could open a creaky wooden door with absolute silence, which means he was already here, in the room.

She turns to face him still kneeling, she is in no mood for a fight and if he has left his men and his boy to seek quiet here then neither is he.

"Who knew indeed"

His eyes never leave hers as she stands. He sits straight backed in a hard wooden chair, she recognises that posture.

His eyes follow her as she walks across the room to retrieve her book from the window seat, follow her journey back through the room to the door.

"Its a cold night" she gestures to the fire, her hand is on the door handle already turning when she remembers "there's a bottle of whiskey behind the bookend third shelf" she tells him.

His reply is one word, a simple one but the word hangs heavy in the air.

"Stay" he says.

A good person would stay, offer him comfort, words of solace, he would stay and offer her such. She fights with herself, she wants to leave, what is there to say? What can she offer? Empty words? Promises she may break?

He doesn't ask again but he stands, walks to the third shelf and despite herself she turns and watches him retrieve the hidden bottle.

Robin uncorks it, wipes its neck with his sleeve, a clean shirt, clean trousers and he has shaved she notices. He takes a long draught, adams apple bobbing three times as he swallows in quick succession.

For once his eyes give nothing away, she cannot read his expression, he offers the bottle to her,

"Regina?"

A good person would drink less of the whiskey, give him the lion share but she doesn't. It feels good the way it burns her throat, numbs the tip of her nose, besides she can refill it when it runs dry.

He says very little, seems content to sit in front of the fire, passing the bottle back and forth. He had settled cross legged on the rug in front of the hearth and she found herself joining him there.

The fire has caught well, warming the room, the shawl lies in her lap, her cape discarded on the floor. She wonders what anyone would make of it if they saw them now, the Queen sat on her bum on the floor, sharing whiskey sans glass with a common thief, bare necked and bare legged, scratchy skirt hitched to the side, bootless feet, painted toes wiggling in the heat of the fire. She wonders and finds she doesn't care.

"I wondered where that had gone" he says, answers her look of confusion by pointing at the shawl "it was my mothers, Roland is often misplacing it"

"I didn't realise" she had just found it here, hadn't given any thought to who it belonged to.

"Roland wont mind if you borrow it" he tells her as she tries to give it back, seems rude to scrunch it back up in her lap, so she folds it carefully and places it by her side.

Robin has removed his scarf, shirt unbuttoned by three, she has counted them, leans back on his elbows, legs stretched next to hers, just a whisper of material grazing her legs as he settles.

"Tom" he says "Tom was a butcher by trade, quickest fingered bastard I ever met"

"Jim was a drunk by night but by morning, you'd never know it"

"Timothy, he had a hard life, he was different you know? A squire once, until gossip ruined his life? nothing more than a lad when he joined us but the best damn marksmen once trained, a natural. Says, said the gossips did him a favour, gave him freedom"

"Did you believe him?" Suddenly she wants to know, wants it confirmed.

"Yes" Robin nods "he was a forgiving type, more forgiving than me I'd wager, always saw the good in others, understood what fear, ignorance, does to people. A good man" he sighs.

She listens as he recounts the little details that made each man unique, doesn't interrupt again, doesn't believe him when he says a better man than I more than once. Robin is a good man everyone says so, she is not so blind to it, can see he is good to his men, good with his son, good to her, even when she scoffs at him, belittles and mocks. He doesn't deserve it she knows that but sometimes when he looks at her, she is unsettled by what he sees and the words fall from her mouth before she can stop them.

He falls silent again and remains so, she finds herself uttering those empty words,

"Its not your fault" "I know"

Silence falls again and she fills it by drinking, holding her liquor is not a problem and the whiskey is weak.

"Thank you" he says, chuckles low at her raised brow.

"What for?"

"For saying its not your fault, I know how you disapprove of such sentiments"

"Its not a sentiment" she bites out "its the truth"

Robin chuckles again "Because you say its so"

"Yes and I am the Queen so what I say goes"

He laughs this time, a laugh she has heard many times, much better than the mirthless chuckles that have escaped him all night. The firelight is kind to him, her eyes are drawn to those three undone buttons, she flicks her eyes up, he is watching her, teeth digging into his bottom lip, that annoying habit of his that draws her eye to his mouth time and time again.

His laugh dispels the knot in her stomach, one that is tangled in the worry that he shares the same thoughts as the others, that its her fault, her sister, her fault, replaces it with a flutter.

A flutter she pushes away, that little voice inside makes its doubt known, but why then wouldn't he look at her in the war chamber? Surely he must blame her a little. Its unnerving how he makes her feel comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

"You blame me, thats why you couldn't, you didn't" god what is she saying "look at me in the chamber earlier" its out and now she waits for the inevitable,

He weighs up his answer and she searches his face for the lie that she is hoping he will tell, a good person would lie even to a not so good person.

The answer he gives is so unexpected, her only reply is a small "oh".

She should leave, say something, then leave, he hands her the bottle and she takes it, mind whirling.

He stayed, asked his men to stay, stay and fight with them, not only for the safety of castle walls but for, as he put it "a selfish desire to get to know a certain Queen better".

"And now you do, was it worth it?" escapes as a whisper, foolish thing to say nothing is worth the loss of his men.

"I think so" he says, offers her his open palm.

She stares and stares at it, wonders what will happen if she takes it, imagines his callous skin wrapping around hers. His eyes are dark, drinking her in, he is waiting for her and if she takes his hand, will he will pull her to him? wrap his arms around her? hold her tight? Does she want that?

Yes

No

Yes but what then, he stayed for her and his men died, too much blood on her hands already. Henry is where she keeps her heart, keeps the best of her and he is gone forever. She can take from Robin, take everything he offers and give nothing back, that's what a selfish person would do, she makes her decision,

"You are wrong"

He doesn't stop her when she stands, walks to the door, whiskey bottle in hand, doesn't turn to look at her when he says

"I think not"

The door creaks when it opens and creaks when she closes it, her tears surprise her, she thinks maybe she can't hold her liquor after all.

Authors note - In case anyone missed it, Trapped was updated earlier this month. Can be found chapters 1-5


	26. Bruised

Bruised Written before Breaking Glass, so off canon & no spoilers but premise is Regina & Emma have words after fighting the snow queen, then Robin arrives, he's not happy and not feeling particularly honourable?..

She's too bruised for this right now, it's a mistake, her walls are down, battered by Emma's words, words she will have to face later but not now, now she has to deal with this situation. She is injured, not perilously so but enough for the pain to catch in her throat, leave her miserable. Emma is injured too but not as badly, few bruises, some cuts but then Emma is level headed, even in a fight and she, well she is reckless. A fact that Robin has not stopped berating her for ever since he arrived at the edge of Storybook forest just in time to spot her and Emma stumbling out from the trees, covered in snow, little bits of ice and a fair amount of blood, mostly hers. Emma hovers awkwardly to her side, keeps accidentally catching her eye and they've been here before but this time there's less of an audience, no David and his so called wit and no ex-boyfriend's wife calling her out. Dear Marian is still renting a room at the Nunnery, well she's taking up space, her needs are few given her frozen state, which is frankly the only state Regina would ever deem acceptable should she herself ever finding herself needing bed and board in that place. But in the here and now, yet again Emma is witness to more of her pain, the pattern between them all is really starting to piss her off. She wishes Emma would just leave, she knows why she had stayed but Robin has calmed down somewhat, a side to him she hasn't seen here in Storybrooke and only briefly before in their realm. He was so angry, at first she couldn't understand, was hit with the dread that something had happened to the town or heaven forbid Roland. It was only when he started on the ever so repetitive reckless track that it dawned on her, he was angry with her and to some extent Emma for venturing into the woods alone to track down the latest villain, the so called Dairy Queen. He's still clutching at her wrist, fingers digging into her flesh and she's distracted by the thought, not for the first time that his nails are always so clean especially for someone who lives in the forest, literally sleeping on the forest floor. She is hit by the memory of him rising from a nest of moss completely leaf free during the missing year and having the audacity to laugh at her not so subtle attempts to remove twigs and a god damn beetle from her hair. She wanted to punch him then, now she wishes he would notice the leaf tangled in her hair, the one she can see in the corner of her eye, was about to remove before he came up in her space, hopes he will spot it too and brush it away gently like he did then. He is calming down and has loosened his grip on her wrist, busy himself with sweeping his eyes up and down, taking her in. Looking for injuries she realises, she pulls her good hand from him, resists the urge to wrap it round the injured one. "Regina" he huffs "are you injured?" "No" she lies, it comes out a little more petulant than she would have liked but quite frankly her wrist is hurting like a bitch, she just needs some time, away from his never ending stare and Emma's sideward glances, she supposed she should be grateful they both care but right now, she's tired, in pain and pissed off with people that care but not quite enough. "Regina" from Emma it sounds like a warning, from Robin a disbelieving, almost groan. Great, two people she cant lie too, two people who think they know her better than she knows herself. "Fine" and now its full on petulant "my wrist is a little?.sore" she allows. Its far more than sore, its broken she heard it snap when she mis-stepped and fell back, landing on it heavily. It will be fine when she gets some peace and quiet, can find a happy thought to wrap herself in and heal it. The magic is there, scratching under her skin but it's skittish, too hocked up on adrenaline from the fight to settle down and heal her. Her magic not unlike herself is quite irritable right now. "Let me see" Robin hmms softly, reaching slowly, very slowly towards her, "roll up your sleeve" he's no fool, knows better than to do it himself. She wonders if he remembers when she told him about magic and emotion, how intertwined they are, especially for her. How she confessed to him, that sometimes she couldn't tell the difference between her and the magic, if she was upset or it was. It seems he does remember, worst after using a lot she had said, like in battle he had asked and now he has that look on his face, the same one he wore after her confession and ever since she overused, that look deep into her eyes, checking she is present, grounded her. "I'd rather not" she says "That bad" he replies, not a question but a statement. Emma is hovering again, its evident she wishes to leave. "You can go now Miss Swan" she tells her, "Im sure your pirate is missing you' "Right" Emma nods, hesitates but finds her resolve "we will talk in the morning" "Dont hold your breath" "No we will Regina, things were said tonight, things that cannot be unsaid but perhaps not said at the right time, in the right way and if I was out of line then I apologise but we WILL talk in the morning because despite everything, theres no one else I'd rather have by my side in a fight" Emma offers her a smile, small but genuine as she starts walking away, clearly not expecting a reply, they both know one is not needed. Her silence is answer enough. "Hey Regina, we make a good team" she calls back, pushing her luck. Clearly Emma's magic is making her cocky and despite herself she smiles. -Robin has taken to her Granny's, commandeered the back room, not her ideal choice but its closest, its late so the diner is practically empty as he ushers her through, hand on the small of her back, the first time he has touched her since their 'break-up'. His earlier grasp on her wrist doesn't count since she doesn't think he was even aware of it. Granny nodded them through, she couldn't hear what was said but it was a brief conversation and she trusts him not to say anything to the old women that if repeated could throw the town into yet another panic. "Roland can be quite clumsy especially after a massive amount of sugar" he explains at her raised eyebrow, the unasked question of how come he knows where the first aid box in the diner can be found, answered. "Come on" he smiles, hand returns to her back rubs small circles there which is nice. "What happened between you two?" He asks as he unwinds a bandage strip, ready to re-wind around her wrist. She is sat on the edge of the couch with Robin on his knees to her side. Removing her jacket was easy, hiding the agony not so. "I told her she ruined my life, she told me I was wrong, I ruined my own and hers" she shouldn't have said that lest he think she would rather Marian was still dead which obviously she does but he doesn't need to hear her say that. "I mean in everything" she clarifies "henry, breaking the curse". "You wish your curse was still in effect?" He asks head tilted to gauge her reaction. "Life was a whole lot simpler and safer for that matter" lifts her injured hand to make her point. Robin chuckles that soft chuckle, the one that is almost always accompanied by a shake of his head and bottom teeth disappearing into his lip, he does not disappointed now, makes that face at her, like she's incorrigible and he's delighted by it. "And what of Henry?" He asks She wonders briefly if he means what of me and this is his way of asking but decides, no he would have just said it. She almost wishes he had, that question would have made her slightly less uncomfortable than the one he has asked. "We would have been fine" she says, they would have worked it out, she would have found a way. Curse in tact, would have saved them both some heartache but really fine? better than fine? happy? she's not sure. "You really don't regret the curse?" He asks. The simple answer is as always no because it led to Henry but breaking the curse, well that's a whole different ball game. She thinks of Emma's words again "you ruined mine, you have no idea" but she does and Emma knows it. That's the annoying thing about the Saviour, she gets it, all of it, the whole messed up situation and yet she still thinks that she and only she can bring back the happy endings but she's wrong. "Regina?" Robin murmurs. He has stopped mid bandage, concerned look on his face as his eyes drift down to her other hand, the uninjured one, the one in which she digs her nails into her palm repeatedly. Robin reaches for it, then stops. "Im fine" in answer to his unspoken question "just tired". Straightens her palm flat on her trouser leg, look see, all fine. "The curse gave me control" she tells him, now she has none, its unsettling. "At the time, it seemed necessary" more than necessary. "And now? You gave up Mayorship voluntary after all". "Mmmm true?but I have more important things to do right now". "For which I am grateful" he says, this time he reaches for her hand, doesn't stop himself, takes it and gives it a gentle squeeze briefly before turning his attention back to the bandaging. "Besides this cursed land, isn't all bad isn't it?" "No indeed not, Im quite fond of it"he tells her "especially the food". "It always comes down to food with you merry men" she teases. "Besides, I think that level of control is unrealistic" She stifles a sigh, wishes he'd move on, change the subject, so much simpler before when they were together and she would have shut him up with a kiss. "You think Im unrealistic?" tries for flippant, fails. "Thats not what I said" "Its unrealistic to expect everything can be controlled, can be fixed, sometimes all we can do is try our best" he's looking concerned now, worried about her, worried about the burden he has placed on her, a burden she knows she deserves but yet, She snorts a laugh "Or you can just get yourself a code and live by it no matter what" its cruel and she didn't mean it,  
mostly she regrets it apart from that small angry voice that says this is ridiculous, he loves you and you love him, codes and everything else be damned. Her words have shaken him, he rocks back on his haunches to his feet, pushes away from her, she sees the tight line in his jaw before he turns fully away, paces forward, hands running through his hair, his little tell of stress. "Im sorry" she says and means it now. He half turns back, "don't be". "I am sorry Robin" she forces herself to her feet. Inspects his handiwork, he has done a good job on her wrist. He steps forward as she does, two magnets, meeting in the middle of the room. They really shouldn't be this close, he said he wanted to fix up her wrist and he has done so now they should leave, go, their separate ways but neither of them move away, only closer. "Its a bit of a mess isn't it" he says, chuckling low, its not funny and he's not really laughing. "Indeed" Robin pulls her into a hug and she lets him. Its just a hug and its been a shitty shitty day. Its nice to lean against him, tuck her head into his chest, breathe him in, familiar and thrilling at the same time. One hand around her waist, the other at the back of her head, palm down running up and back down, smoothing it against her skull, she sighs, so nice. Both her arms are round his waist, loosely wrapped there, neither of them speak, neither wants to break the moment but her wrist aches and she wants to move her head up to his, wants more so she pushes back and away. Robin reaches for her, pulls her back and kisses her, hard. Its too brief then he's the one pulling away now, putting space between them, hands running back though his own hair, apologising again and again. "Don't" she tells him. "There's nothing you can say to make this better, we both know how we feel and you know how you feel about Marian and I respect that and despite what I said earlier, I do respect your code, I really do" she tells him, words spilling out, "but apologising is pointless". Its all pointless really she thinks. She stands, back straight, head raised "thank you for this" lifts her bandaged wrist "and thank you for coming to find me today it means a lot but Robin you made your choice, asked for my help which I intend to give you and in return I ask that you continue to stick by your code" "I don't know how you feel" he says, he's miserable, its not what she wants. He is supposed to have his happy ending, she has promised herself he will get it. Marian has been frozen too long, she will try even harder tomorrow but she wont lie to him. "Yes you do" she says and leaves, doesn't look back, makes it all the way home before she gives into the tears, pushes away the tiny sliver of hope in her heart, that voice that whispers, perhaps now he knows how you feel, wishes she told him sooner, wishes she hadn't told him at all.  



	27. Secrets

Secrets Who can you really trust? Storybrooke / Regina

"It wouldn't have worked you know, splitting your heart with your first love, not like it worked for them, nothing you have ever done has been good enough so it wouldn't have worked"

That one was new, unexpected, her mask slips a little, eyes flick down momentarily then straight back up haughty sneer in place but too slow, it knows.

The reflection, her reflection, the evil queen sneered right back "oh no dear it would never have worked for you, fool to think it would" a high pitched laugh, a laugh she knew too well, crazed, devoid of humour, mocking it continues "you feel deeply with your whole soul" Snow's words, burned into her memories, now canon fodder for this darkest reflection of herself "they don't love you like you love them. He doesn't, only loves you if your good, your little prince and your true love, your soul mate, his love is so weak, he chooses?"

"Enough" she commands. She's heard it all before, expected it, was counting on it.

"Regina" his voice urges her from behind. A low warning, dark magic cannot defeat dark magic but light can, so here she stands in the ice cave, listening to the taunts, letting them wash over her.

It really is remarkable magic, complex, impressive that it can dig so deep. Her Mother, Father, Henry, Zelena, those she expected but the thought of splitting her heart with Daniel had been a short what if conversation she had with herself, had pushed the thought aside, resolving to live in the present, appreciate what she had. Imbibed with the darkest of magic he said and he was right, annoyingly so. Its laughing at her, this black eyed, over blown version of her former self but its over played its hand, the memories that it has pushed at her, intending to wound and rip have only deepened her resolve. She remembers the sacrifice David had made and how she felt, more particularly how she had felt towards her one time sworn enemy, sorrow and then joy, genuine awe and joy that it had worked. Joy when Henry ran to her, joy when the curse was broken with her kiss, her light magic and she can feel it now tingling beneath her fingertips.

She allows a moment of pride, just a small one, the battle is not yet won but it will be and her favour.

The white magic pours from her outstretched hands, forces her to take a steadying step back. The mirror is going hell for leather now, screaming at her, every doubt she has ever had, every moment of fear and utter heartbreak, god knows there have been many. She wonders if he can hear what it says but then again he already knows.

The centre of the mirror is warping, twisting in on itself, her reflection a grossly twisted caricature, inhuman shrieks filling the air, one last mournful sound before its splitting apart, shards flying towards her.

She raises her arms, wraps them around her head, bending double in a futile attempt to avoid the inevitable but she is protected, a bubble of magic surrounds her, the shards bounce against the shield, tinkle to the ground.

"Well done Regina" he sweeps his hand over the glistening floor, ice and mirror reflecting ice and mirror, until the pieces are gone, ground to dust and the only shimmer that remains is the ice.

She smiles at him, a wide white toothed smile, radiating happiness and pride.

He helps her up and she completely misses the one remaining shard that he palms, swiftly disappearing into his pocket.

"Well done indeed"

"How sweet" softly mocking as the ice queen makes her presence known.

"Although?." She trills so softly stepping forward "really quite sad, I've seen it before, so many times, all the sad little children, victims of abuse, so grateful for any scrap of praise, such a shame Regina underneath it all, you're still that little girl looking for love and acceptance".

"Your mirror tried that and failed, you want to continue to bore everyone with your psycho babble, carry on but no-one's interested dear" she spits out.

"Just an observation" the blonde replies, "I assume this was his idea?" She tilts her head to the side slightly and Regina resists the urge to slap that infuriatingly smug look from her face, "did you ask yourself why Regina? The Dark One coming to the rescue of the town, a selfless act, seems unlikely"

"People change" she defies the ice bitch but the thought niggles.

"No not really" Ingrid trills. "You could have been part of it but you refused and now you have destroyed my mirror so Im afraid I wont be offering again"

"What are you talking about?"

"Her family" Gold grits out "Elsa, Emma and her, the three of them"

"Oh that!" deliberately coats her words with disdain "not interested".

"Yes you said that before" and the misguided bitch has the audacity to look amused.

"Memory spell? you are quite fond of them" she bites back "is that your grand plan, keeping trying to make friends with magical blondes and when they reject you, see you for the crazed icicle you are, wipe their memories and start again?"

"Mock all you like Regina but it will come to pass, its been prophesied and you know perfectly well that prophesies always come true"

"Time to give it up dearie" Gold shifts and Regina feels the thump of his power, joined by a cold shiver which emanates from their foe, her own magic rises, hot and red, enough of this she thinks.

Three sets of hands raise to the air as the ground shakes, magic churns through the air. The ice rises in front of the snow queen blocking their way, she sends fire ball after fire ball with little effect.

By her side Gold sends a powerful sweep that sees her stumbling to her knees as he strides past into the falling ice "get out" he snarls at her.

She hesitates, resolves to follow but the cave is collapsing, ice and rock falling perilously close, self preservation kicks in as she sweeps purple magic around her, lets it gather her and take her out.

When she comes to almost immediately outside, face down in the dirt, a graceless exit, she is not alone.

She is there, unharmed and still smug "you think Im the danger here Regina" the ice queen purrs in ear "you need to ask your mentor, what secrets he is keeping, just how did you sister die I wonder? Why does he want you, Emma and Elsa unharmed? For what purpose does he need you for this time? I suggest you ask Belle about the sorcerers hat and if I were you, I'd take your son and get out of town before its too late"

Regina turns her head looking for Gold but he is not there, she can hear the cave echoing its collapse and knows he is not there. She sits heart pounding, mulling over the warning, fear grows as the warmth of his praise, her pride in her victory, fades.  



End file.
